Thursday, April 5, 2018


                                 SO I MARRIED A PIRATE AND A PARROT

                                I MARRIED ME A PIRATE
                                A BIG AND BRISTLY MAN
                                HE SAILS THE SEVEN SEAS ALL YEAR
                                AND COMES HOME WHEN HE CAN.

                                HE LIKES THE SALTY SEAS, YOU SEE
                                HE LIKES THE OCEAN'S ROAR
                                BUT ME, I LIKE IT FINE, SO FINE
                                WHEN HE WALKS OUT THE DOOR.

                                OUR OLDEST CHILD IS TWENTY-SEVEN
                                THE YOUNGEST BABE IS TWO
                                AND ALL OF THEM HAVE DARK BROWN EYES
                                AND THE PIRATE'S EYES ARE BLUE.

                                I'VE ONLY SEEN HIM SEVEN TIMES
                                IN THE DECADES I'VE BEEN HIS WIFE
                                HE'S ALWAYS OFF ON PILLAGES 
                                (HE LEADS A STRESSFUL LIFE.)

                                THE WORK IS HARD, THE PAY IS LOW
                                AND AT LAST WHEN HE SAILS IN
                               HE DOES NOT ASK WHAT I'VE BEEN UP TO
                                AND I DON'T ASK WHERE HE'S BEEN.

                                THE MAN, HE ONLY HAS ONE EYE
                                AND FOR A HAND, A HOOK
                                HE LOST A LEG AND FOUND A PARROT
                                THAT HELPS HIM WALK AND LOOK.

                                THE PARROT GOES TO BED WITH HIM
                                AND ON HIS SHOULDER SITS
                                AND IF I ASK HIM TO REMOVE THE BIRD
                                HE ALWAYS THROWS A FIT.

                                BUT HE BRINGS ME LITTLE TRINKETS
                                FROM ALL HIS ROBBERIES
                                ONE TIME HE BROUGHT ME SOLID GOLD
                                ONE TIME HE BROUGHT ME FLEAS.

                                HE'S NOT SO MUCH TO LOOK AT
                                HE'S STAINED LIKE CHIMNEY SOOT
                                BUT I HAD HIM A SPECIAL WELCOME MAT MADE
                                THAT SAYS, PLEASE WIPE YOUR FOOT.

                                HE SEEMED TO BE REAL PLEASED WITH THAT
                                AND BEAMED LIKE THE NORTH STAR 
                                BUT I WAS GLAD TO SEE HIM GO
                                AND I HOPE THAT HE'LL GO FAR.

                                MY CHILDREN ALL ARE HAPPY, THOUGH
                                WHEN THE PIRATE SAILS TO SHORE
                                HE NEVER NOTICES WHEN HE COMES HOME
                                THAT THERE ARE SEVEN MORE.

                                HE SAYS HE'S GOING TO SOON RETIRE
                                CAUSE HIS BOSS GIVES HIM THE BLUES
                                HE SAYS HIS DREAM IS TO SAVE ENOUGH
                                TO TAKE ME ON A CRUISE.

                                BUT I'LL STAY ON THE SAND, THANK YOU
                                THOUGH HE TELLS ME I AM NUTS
                                AND I WAVE GOODBYE TO HIM AND HIS PARROT
                                (LORD, I HATE THAT PARROT'S GUTS.)

                                BRING ME SOMETHING PRETTY, I YELL
                                JUST LIKE I ALWAYS DO
                                SOME GOLD OR SILVER OR MAYBE SOME PEARLS
                               AND I'LL MAKE A NEW CHILD FOR YOU.