Muffins in the Yard
Granny threw the muffins out
Pa said they were too hard
She'd baked all day and got hell for pay
Now there's muffins in the yard.
Granny cooked a possum stew
Up special for a treat
And Pa came home, left it alone
Said it smelled like his bare feet.
Granny baked a birthday cake
For Pa's eighty-eighth birthday
Pa blew out the candles and went to sleep
Without a word to say.
Granny made an apple pie
With apples picked herself
Pa came in, went out again
Left the pie there on the shelf.
Granny cooked some gravy
To eat with eggs and bacon
Pa woke up, poured him a cup
And no gravy was ever taken.
Granny cooked and Granny cleaned
And Granny did the chores
Pa sat around and went to town
Till she couldn't take it anymore.
Granny stirred and Granny mixed
A formula perfected
Arsonic, strychnine and a pinch of thyme
For the years she was neglected.
Granny waited and Pa came home
From sitting on the Square
Whittling with the good ole boys
Like he didn't have a care.
Granny set the kitchen table
With the best china that she had
So pretty in the candlelight
It made her heart feel glad.
"What garbage are we having tonight?"
Pa snickered like a heel
He filled his plate and then he ate
His last supper, his last meal.
Now Granny cooks to her heart's content
And life is no longer hard
But the wild life outside has all up and died
From eating muffins in the yard.
© by Voo
December 2, 2004
10:30 p.m.
Lord I wish I was a single girl again
