MUFFINS IN THE YARD

Muffins in the Yard 

Granny threw the muffins out

Pa said they were too hard 

She'd baked all day and got hell for pay

Now there's muffins in the yard.

Granny cooked a possum stew 

Up special for a treat

And Pa came home, left it alone

Said it smelled like his bare feet.

Granny baked a birthday cake

For Pa's eighty-eighth birthday

Pa blew out the candles and went to sleep

Without a word to say.

Granny made an apple pie

With apples picked herself

Pa came in, went out again

Left the pie there on the shelf.

Granny cooked some gravy

To eat with eggs and bacon

Pa woke up, poured him a cup

And no gravy was ever taken.

Granny cooked and Granny cleaned

And Granny did the chores

Pa sat around and went to town

Till she couldn't take it anymore.

Granny stirred and Granny mixed

A formula perfected

Arsonic, strychnine and a pinch of thyme

For the years she was neglected.

Granny waited and Pa came home

From sitting on the Square

Whittling with the good ole boys

Like he didn't have a care.

Granny set the kitchen table 

With the best china that she had

So pretty in the candlelight

It made her heart feel glad.

"What garbage are we having tonight?"

Pa snickered like a heel

He filled his plate and then he ate

His last supper, his last meal.

Now Granny cooks to her heart's content

And life is no longer hard

But the wild life outside has all up and died

From eating muffins in the yard.

© by Voo
December 2, 2004 
10:30 p.m. 

              

  Lord I wish I was a single girl again