THE ROAD THAT ENDS IN THE SEA

The Road That Ends In The Sea

"Call me!" he said in a voice full of woe

On the message he left on my phone

Along with a dozen other ones I had missed

I could tell he felt so all alone.

But it had been one of those days

And my job had taken it's toll

My mind on the blink, couldn't talk, couldn't think

And he was probably just trying to be droll.

So I had listened to some of them

And the other ones, deleted

I was so tired and needed sleep

And his calling went unheeded.

I went to bed, dreams in my head

Dreams so dark and dreary

Tidal waves and things unsaved

And I woke up so weary.

Driving into work I thought

About my sweet lost friend

We'd tried to make our love work out

But it had reached it's end.

And I'd moved on, found someone else

But he couldn't do the same

He'd call me twenty times a day

To only speak my name.

"This has to stop!" I said to him

When next I saw his face

"You've got to stop this stalking me!

This is so out of place!"

"I know, I know!" he said, in tears

"I just can't help myself!

I've screwed up all of my life

And I have nothing left!"

"That isn't true," I said to him

"You've got so much to give."

"Oh, no, I don't, for without you

I just don't want to live."

I took him in my arms and sighed

And shed a tear or two

It is so sad when love goes bad

And  your love does not love you.

We went our separate ways once more

And I thought that things were good

Until I noticed him hiding himself

Doing things that he never should.

He left me a dozen roses

Upon my car's windshield

Letters and song requests on the radio

He kept trying to break my will.

Showing up and showing out

In front of all my friends

They teased me 'bout my obsessed boyfriend'

And it never seemed to end.

"What did you do to that poor guy?"

My clergyman once asked

"I've never seen anyone so much in love!"

But that die had already been cast.

I'd found a love that just felt right

And seemed so good to me

We met each other's needs and yet

Let both our hearts run free.

I'd never had that kind of love

With sweethearts in my past

Some were fickle, flighty things

And some not made to last.

But when I'd met my former love

Things took a different turn

We started out on the same page

But his heart began to burn.

And burn in ways I didn't like

That gave me no reprieve

He was obsessive and so possessive

That I felt I couldn't breathe.

Our break-up was so messy

I tried hard not to be unkind

But he refused to accept the news

And I exploded and spoke my mind.

And I said things I shouldn't have said

But things that still were true

And I saw the hurt upon his face

When he said, "I still love you."

"But I don't love you, I never did."

I said and walked away

Leaving him crying on his knees in the rain

A scene burned in my brain to this day.

I didn't mean to hurt him

I just tried to protect myself

Sometimes you give so much of you

That there is nothing left.

Months passed and I started to live again

Feeling the freedom to breathe

Finding the joy and the love to employ

While he sank and continued to grieve.

Then slowly he seemed to mend himself

And I reached out friendship's hand

We talked, we had fun, a new era'd begun

But inside, he was still the same man.

We double dated with his new girl

And the new love that I'd met

And all seemed fine but in his mind

He just would not forget.

The phone calls started up again,

The letters in my door,

The cards and flowers, hour after hour

Till I couldn't stand it anymore.

My boyfriend beat him to pulp

When he showed up one night

I tried to keep the peace but failed

And they got into a fight.

The police came and took him away

As he shouted out his pain

And the neighbors watched and shook their heads

When he screamed out my name.

Shell-shocked then, I could only pray

For God to heal his soul

What kind of life could he hope to have

If I were his only goal?

They took him to the hospital

Committed him to stay

I heard that he was making progress

And hoped he stayed that way.

Until last night when I'd heard the calls

Recorded on my phone

(And though collected and calm,

He still sought me as his balm)

And I just sighed and left him alone.

I listened to his messages again

The ones that I had saved

As I ate my lunch, without a hunch

Of what I'd hear that day.

"Meet me at the lamplight," he'd said

"On the road that ends in the sea."

And I couldn't conceive and couldn't perceive

 The message that he had left me.

As I sat in my car later in traffic

I suddenly began then to see
What he had been trying so hard to not say

And to discern his sad request to me.

I got out of traffic and flew so fast

To the only place I knew

Where there was a road that dropped off that way

And a place that he knew, too.

"Oh, no, oh, no." I cried out slow

As I made my way in the rain

"Don't let him do something that he'll regret

Trying to take away his pain."

The park was deserted when I got there

The park where that boy had met me

The park with the bridge that had been there so long

That it had fallen at last in the sea.

And they'd voted not to replace it

For it had only been used in the past

By a family that lived on an island

That'd been wrecked by a hurricane's wrath.

(So the road through the park

Had no where to go now

It was just a joke for the townsfolk to see

It was still lined with lamp lights

And they still lit up some nights

But the road ended there at the sea.)

I parked my car there on the road

As the rain came pouring down

I couldn't see a sign of him

I didn't hear a sound.

Then suddenly to my surprise

A light came on so bright

The last lamp post at the end of the road

Lit up the rain soaked night.

I walked in trepidation

Up to the old lamp post

Saw the note inside the plastic bag

Watched over by his ghost.

"I'm sorry," he wrote, "Won't you forgive?

I've been a hopeless fool

And you were always sweet and kind

You didn't mean to treat me cruel."

I held the note up to the light

As the rain washed away the ink

And then threw the note into the sea

And stood and watched it sink.

Then I saw the strangest thing

His shoes setting off the path

He had taken them off before he'd jumped

And the sight just made me laugh.

For those were his favorite shoes

I had given them to him, it's true

On his birthday, he'd said,

"If  a girl buys a man shoes,

Then that means that she really loves you."

And I dropped to the ground and I cried

For all the ways that things shouldn't be

For his love and his loss and his life

And I knew he'd finally let go of me.

©by Voo

Feb 6, 2019

2:10 p.m.

for.......you know

partially based on a true story

of my life........