Against My Will
Lying here trying not to think,
I think of you against my will, against my want
As though bidden by some dark pulling
That cannot be broken by force.
I seem to feel your eyes
Looking for me in the moon's light
Raking across the ceiling of your room
Willing me to look for you.
But there's no me for you to find now
My form has gone where the broken go
To the valley of trampled hearts
And misdirected dreams.
I went unwillingly,
But of necessary need
For self preservation
And fear of unanswered questions.
Oh, I still feel you, still see you faintly
Maybe not with the usual five,
(Senses that all beings have)
But with a sixth sense unusually honed.
You see, I've never been ordinary, not really
That's what drew you to me,
Led you to me, made you love me,
Bound us in unexplainable, unbreakable chains.
You needed no enchantments for that,
No candles burning at midnight,
No murmured chants, no recitations from ancient books,
No magic at all or ever.
It was love that drew us,
Led us, found us, bound us
Encircled us with her hands
And threaded us together as one.
But it was love, as well,
That broke the threads, the binding,
The defining and entwining
And put out the candles glowing in the dark.
It was love that healed and love that cut
And love that lost it's way
And yet tonight in quietest quiet
Your heart still calls to mine.
Your need has no definition,
Your wanting burns as though unquenched,
Your desire screams without a voice,
As your arms hold to my memory.
I feel you, even now
Across the miles and marbled mountains
Tossing and turning like an ocean's wave
Drawing me to you willingly, as before....
And failing that, against my will.
And failing that, against my will.
©by Voo Shining Stone
9/19/2020
