A Thousand Words
A thousand words
On twenty-five balled up pieces of paper later
I still have no idea how to say
What needs to be said
What should have been said
A hundred heartbreaks ago.
It 's just so hard
To find the words to properly convey
A tender farewell
A loving tone and a gentle goodbye
That will not wound
Someone already walking wounded.
I start and stop
Rewrite a refrain, revise an old rhyme
Throw in some honkey tonk lyrics
Soften it all with some bubblegum pop
And images of violins playing softly in the background.
I don't know why I bother
You would only sneer at the above stanza
It's heavy metal and anarchist beats you love
Punk rock so loud your eardrums bleed
And anything to do with pain. Especially mine.
See how my little hands shake?
I can hardly hold a pencil
I can barely see to write
My eyes are black, my soul is bruised
And I sit here trying not to hurt you.
If I could talk, I wouldn't
For that only makes you mad
Only makes you crazy..er than usual
When you walk through the door
Hell bent for hating and still needing love.
I don't know what happened to you
To make you be this way
To make you into a hollow man
But I've got to find a way to go
Before there's no me left.
I hear your footsteps now
Coming up the stairs
Hear you rehearsing new slurs
That you haven't used yet
Though their cold jagged points
Have already hit home.
I hide the balls of paper
Underneath the bed
Throw the pencil into a drawer
Brush the tears from my cheeks
And turn up the corners of my mouth into a hideous smile
As you and your pain walk into the room.
A thousand words
Form in my brain
A thousand words stick on my tongue
I look at you and remember how you used to be
Before you let down your guard and took off your mask
You look so alone, so small and alone
But tomorrow, for sure, I'm writing that letter.
©by Voo
May 25, 08
1:58 a.m.
