A THOUSAND WORDS

A Thousand Words

A thousand words

On twenty-five balled up pieces of paper later

I still have no idea how to say

What needs to be said

What should have been said

A hundred heartbreaks ago.

It 's just so hard

To find the words to properly convey

A tender farewell

A loving tone and a gentle goodbye

That will not wound

Someone already walking wounded.

I start and stop

Rewrite a refrain, revise an old rhyme

Throw in some honkey tonk lyrics

Soften it all with some bubblegum pop

And images of violins playing softly in the background.

I don't know why I bother

You would only sneer at the above stanza

It's heavy metal and anarchist beats you love

Punk rock so loud your eardrums bleed

And anything to do with pain. Especially mine.

See how my little hands shake?

I can hardly hold a pencil

I can barely see to write

My eyes are black, my soul is bruised

And I sit here trying not to hurt you.

If I could talk, I wouldn't

For that only makes you mad

Only makes you crazy..er than usual

When you walk through the door

Hell bent for hating and still needing love.

I don't know what happened to you

To make you be this way

To make you into a hollow man

But I've got to find a way to go

Before there's no me left.

I hear your footsteps now

Coming up the stairs

Hear you rehearsing new slurs

That you haven't used yet

Though their cold jagged points

 Have already hit home.

I hide the balls of paper

Underneath the bed

Throw the pencil into a drawer

Brush the tears from my cheeks

And turn up the corners of my mouth into a hideous smile

As you and your pain walk into the room.

A thousand words

Form in my brain

A thousand words stick on my tongue

I look at you and remember how you used to be

Before you let down your guard and took off your mask

You look so alone, so small and alone

But tomorrow, for sure, I'm writing that letter.

©by Voo

May 25, 08

1:58 a.m.