I am a Storyteller, first and
foremost.
This is my blog for poetry,
prose,
stories, excerpts of
novels and
videos. Life poetry,
prophetic poetry,
poetry for all genres.
I think you'll
find yourself here if you read
long enough.
I awoke to find a flower crushed underneath my cheek. I had not noticed it when I lay down the night before but then I had been too tired and too grief stricken to notice anything but the aching in my heart. I had walked for many miles, having lost my horse to the bite of a viper on the hillside far behind me. Starshine. Black as midnight with a white star shaped mark on his neck and star shaped sprays of white on his two front legs. A magnificent horse, my childhood companion, my best friend.
His death had come as a great shock and one that I wondered in my loneliness if I would ever overcome. How had I been so careless? How had he? We both had ears and eyes like hawks and had never been attacked unawares in all our years together. Perhaps it was in our weariness of long journeying that we had become fatigued and let down our guards. Perhaps we had taken our protection for granted much too long. But he had been my guardian as I had been his. I could not remember a day of my life without him in it. Till now. How could I ever forgive myself?
The viper had appeared out of nowhere, long and fat and golden hued, like no snake I had ever seen. I had dismounted Starshine and had climbed to the top of a tree to scan the horizon when it happened. The horse made no sound, gave no cry for help, raised no alarm. When I'd made my way back down the tree, taking my time and humming a melody I had heard in the last village we'd passed through, I jumped down laughing and shouted, "Starshine, my friend! I have spotted a lush green field for thou to graze ......."
And there I saw him, still as death itself, his sweet eyes closed and no breath coming from his nostrils. Lying on his sleek, black rump, there coiled the viper, it's cold, intelligent eyes looking at my expression, almost, it seemed, in mocking amusement. I felt a tremor go through my body as I stood frozen in disbelief and anguish.
"H..h..h.how?" I gasped in a tiny whisper of voice, feeling for the first time in years like a helpless child. The viper stretched out to it's full length and struck Starshine behind his unhearing ear as if to answer then turned his yellow eyes back to me and disappeared from sight. Finding my feet and voice, I sank to my knees beside my faithful friend and sobbed until I could sob no more. I wept until his silky mane was soaked with tears and I had caressed his beautiful face and flanks a thousand times. I had never felt so alone.
I didn't know how to say goodbye. I refused to say goodbye. The morning with it's azure skies and golden sun so full of promise became my heart's saddest day. I hated the tree I had climbed, the hill on which it stood, the land in which it grew. But most of all and more than anything I had ever experienced; I hated that viper! I swore vengeance on the creature and made no apology for it. Fury flowed through my veins like lava, shut down my mind and took my soul on a journey I had never made before: to the dark side of myself.
During that journey, I would learn to distrust, to fear, to question all that I had been taught. To walk alone, to love and to know a different, more terrifying kind of heartbreak. I would lose my faith and find it again in strangers and places I did not know existed. Worst of all, I would learn that I could not trust my own eyes or ears or heart. For, from that day forward, nothing would ever be as it appeared. Nothing. Not even the person that I had always imagined myself to be. Everything changed after the encounter with the snake. Light became dark, the familiar became strange, the tangible, intangible and the road I traveled on, a seemingly never-ending quest to find understanding of the mysteries. But the world would never be the same. Everything changed for me at the tree.
I don't know how long I lay there resting my head on my dead horse. I had fallen asleep and gone tumbling down into a mindless, restless realm populated by running horses and children, golden vipers and strange men in white hooded robes. I awoke to find the world still there and Starshine, a lifeless form with no sign of his equine spirit and wisdom. I was totally disheartened. I lay aside all of the equipment that he had carried for us and pondered what pieces I could carry myself and discarded the rest. I could see no way to bury my faithful friend outside of digging his grave with my bare hands and I had no strength for that. I formulated a plan to cover him with stones and began the task to do that, a long and tedious chore that took many hours.
As I looked for stones and carried them, I let myself go to places I should not have gone to in my mind but nevertheless, I could not stop the going. I had experienced many things in my life: death and life, illness and miracle, joy and hope delayed. But being strong of spirit and sure of my calling, I had endured and grown stronger with each setback. I was my Father's daughter. I was independent but totally devoted to him and to doing his will. My course had been set at birth and I had never deviated from that course except during the long months of my sickness. And even that had been ordained to ensure the quietness of my youthful spirit and the teaching of my soul and mind that could not have been achieved had I been awake and well.
But this! This, I could not bear. I had been promised that Starshine would be with me until I did not need him and I could not imagine a future in which that day would come. He had always been there. His face would appear at my window every morning when I awoke as a child. He would call and laugh his almost human laugh and I would fling myself up and over his neck still in my nightclothes and off we would fly through the courtyard until my Father's servants would scold us into stopping.
The chickens would screech and scatter, fruit baskets would overturn and children would scream in laughter and cheer us on. Those were my earliest memories and my happiest times. Having no brothers or sisters and never having known my mother, Starshine had been my closest companion. And now he was dead. Murdered. By a creature not of this world. That much was certain.
Having journeyed throughout the land for many years, I had seen and known and touched and experienced almost everything that the wild world had to offer and in no place and time had I ever seen a viper such as the one that had struck down my horse. The thought of the thing made the blood boil in my veins, made my hands turn into fists, made my heart give way to hate. The thing my Father had warned me about. Hate. The one thing that could destroy love, he said. Never hate, he warned me. Love only and live peacefully with all things, if that be possible. And having said that, he trained me in every type of warfare and fighting mode and skilled me with sword and bow and dagger and cunning strategy.
But now all his teaching dissolved in me as I explored this new emotion and let it turn me in it's tide. As I covered the still form in a mound of stones and hid it with branches, I wondered what I might do now that I had no one to talk to and no one to help me bear the burdens. Until this day, I had ever looked forward to tomorrow and hardly known a confusion or misdirection or loss of insight. My life now seemed like a blank slate, cleared of all mission and purpose.
I completed the task of hiding Starshine's body and picked up the items I thought most needed and started down the hill, refusing to look back. For the first time in my life, I could not connect with Starshine's thoughts in my mind and I could not feel his spirit walking with me. He was gone and I was abandoned and that's all I knew.
I walked for miles until I came to a brook flowing with crystal waters and shaded by willow trees and gray boulders and vines hanging full of berries and strange fruit. I had no appetite but drank gratefully of the water and lay exhausted upon the soft grass staring into the changing sky. My face darkened with sun and anger. Then I began to question. And I began to twist within my mind all of the promises that had been made to me and I began to doubt. And with the doubt, I began to lose all sense of direction and with that, last of all, I began to lose hope.
He took his jeweled handled knife and slit her red velvet gown from the bodice to the hem without taking his eyes off hers for one brief moment. She didn't flinch, she showed no fear nor did she look away when the knife moved upwards, slicing through her undergarments and periously close to her soft throat. He admired her resolve but something dark inside him yearned to see her fear, hear her cry and beg for mercy. He didn't know why. He just knew the need was there and had always been there since the day he had first laid his hungry eyes upon the Lady Zanna deMille. He wanted nothing more than to have her, own her, make her his possession. Though his heart told him in his nightly dreams that there was so much more he needed from her than he could admit to in the light of day.
Months had gone by since that day at the wharf when he'd seen her leaving the ship on the arm of a man who obviously didn't deserve her. He was tall and fair and seemingly well bred and well-to-do but there was a weakness in his chin and a mama's boy quality about him that made Jeh-Lon smile inwardly. Captain Jeh-Lon Uwlohal did not suffer fools lightly for he was a hard man who had risen from poverty and low ranking in Her Majesty's Royal Navy to be a captain of his own ship and mastering that accomplishment, he had gone rogue and joined another kind of rank and sea faring institution: that of a full fledged outlaw and pirate. He ran his ship, The Eagle with an iron fist and with a smile-less face and no one, including his closest mates had any idea how soft and gentle he really was inside. He kept that part of himself well hidden and despite nefarious deeds and reputation, he still threw himself upon the mercy of God every night as he retired to his quarters. He was a man of complexities and contradictions without question, but only God knew that and he meant to keep it a secret till the day he sank dead into Davy Jones's Locker. He had disguised himself and gone into the city, having rowed ashore in the early morning mist and fog with several of his crew. They had moored their ship further down the way after lowering their flags and attempting to blend in with any other typical ship on that sea. There was a price on their heads to be sure, as they had become notorious and feared as ruthless robbers and general trouble makers. Few but the bravest dared to take them on and those few never lived to talk about it. Those that were still among the living had decided they quite liked the Captain and his life style and happily joined the crew. But never-the-less, Jeh-Lon was always aware of the danger and went to great lengths to protect himself and his crew in every way possible. Sometimes out of boredom, they disguised themselves in stolen apparel and made their way stealthily into towns and villages and occasionally, larger cities to have a bit of fun, pick up needed provisions, and case out some warehouses that needed robbing. Most of their robbing was done on the sea, of course but that could get boring at times and inspired the occasional excursion to land. There were certainly more ladies on land than sea and that fact alone drew the men ashore more than any material wealth.
He had dressed himself in the finery of an Earl or Lord of something-or-other and it raised an inward smile when he saw himself catching the eye of lady, barmaid or street walker. They were drawn to him, they couldn't help themselves for he was a fine figure of a man and had a certain aura about him that few could resist. Be that as it may, Jeh-Lon was not attracted to most of the women that he could have without effort. He liked women that challenged him, resisted him and ran from him. He didn't know why exactly but he had never cared much for anything that came to him easily. He was born to want the things denied to him and things he could never have. Enigmatic, to be sure and a puzzle even unto himself but he had enough self confidence and charisma for a hundred men and it had worked well for him so far. (Even though it had led him into the very life he now led, that of being a notorious pirate.) After a night of carousing in the town, Jeh-Lon went to see what was happening in the harbor and to seek out a bit of breakfast before meeting back up with the crew. There they exchanged any handy information gleamed the previous wine soaked night concerning toptcs of interest to pirates. Jeh-Lon didn't feel like robbing and pillaging at the moment. His desires ran more to the seducing and ravishing if truth be told and it was in that heady moment in the early morning sun that he first saw her and instantly knew that she was a woman not soon forgotten. She had warm tanned skin with dark eyes and raven black hair that fell down her back in rippling waves that ended below her curvaceous hips. She was dressed in a shade of blue he had never seen before and she wore an elegant hat with a long white plume on it that he found adorable. Every thing about her was adorable if truth be told. He felt quite starstruck and smitten, a victim of Cupid's bow and the ache of a man too long at sea. He wanted her. Badly. He pondered how to make his approach since she was not alone but escorted by the tall blonde haired idiot and an entourage. He almost lost his nerve but followed the group inconspicuously at a distance. They had made their way to a small place near the harbor where one could to get a meal and some good ale to wash it down with. Their luggage and trunks had been sent ahead and carriages stood waiting to take them to their destination. They stood outside deciding to go in or wait until they reached the luxurious rooms that surely waited for them in a better part of town. Jeh-Lon walked past the group, making sure to "accidentally" bump the elbow of the beautiful dark haired women who was tapping her foot impatiently and sighing heavily at her companions. "I must sit down and have something to quench my thirst. I am parched!" she was saying as he bumped her and her dark eyes met his involuntarily and a startled look that turned into a make believe frown crossed her pretty face. Adorable! She straightened, pulling herself up to her full height and turned away rudely and very much on purpose. "Humph!" he heard her say under her breath and he fell instantly in love. She was a woman to be stalked, seduced and possessed at any price and he immediately accepted her unwitting and unspoken challenge." You will be mine, my beauty." he said softly and went further inside the establishment and procured a seat at a small table in the corner. He gave the man his order for food and drink and waited to see the grand entourage finally enter and make a great fuss over tables and chairs and who sat next to whom. Jeh-Lon watched in amusement as they were seated, scanning the room with disdain. To his delight the woman in blue ended up sitting at the long table directly facing him. It couldn't have worked out any better if he had planned it! He ignored her for a while as he dined but could no longer help himself and glanced up just in time to see her turn sharply and avert her eyes. He gave a tiny smile and pushed back from the table and sat back against the wall in the shadows where he could not be so directly observed. He sipped his ale and looked carefully at the occupants of the long table. The woman did not sit with the blonde haired man but with two young and silly girls who giggled at everything and anything. The man sat with two young and two older men who eschewed talking for eating and drinking. Occasionally they shushed the two young girls and frowned angrily at them. He could not figure out the family equation or who might be related to whom or married to whom. He certainly hoped the woman was not wed to that insipid man with the pale blonde hair. He couldn't imagine that she was that stupid or desperate. She was a woman that needed the firm hand of a real man, he could see that straight away. Certainly not the wimpy hand of the snob he watched from the shadows trying to catch the woman's eye and make her return a smile. He didn't deserve her smile! Jeh-Lon wanted to see that pretty mouth smiling at him and only him. (Whether he deserved it or not.) Suddenly he felt her eyes on him, not shyly but boldly. An electric thrill shot through him from the bottom of his feet to the top of his handsome head. He waited a moment and then stared boldly back at her. Then he leaned forward so she could see him properly. They stared at one another and took in every visible and covered parts they could imagine. He could see a faint blush run up her throat and across her face as he allowed his dark eyes to twinkle at her. Then he smiled a small smile. She looked stunned or mesmerized, he wasn't sure which. Just then, one of the young girls announced that she wanted a sweet of some kind and the woman looked away and said "Of course, silly, whatever you like." One of the older men leaned toward her and said sternly, "Really, Zanna, you spoil those two! Their mother doesn't let them have many sweets and neither should you!""But Uncle," the woman protested, "We're on holiday! Surely they can be indulged on holiday!" The man relented and the sweets were ordered and devoured and the woman shyly glanced back in Jeh-Lon's direction. Then she hurriedly looked away when she saw the daggers in her uncle's eyes. But now he knew her name! Zanna! What an exotic and beautiful name! He had never heard a name so exquisite, not even in all his many travels. It was as unique as the woman before him. He wondered at her background, her culture, her race, for she hardly seemed like a typical English girl. Perhaps someone from a foreign place, an island maybe or even a woman of mixed race. He was even more intrigued and fascinated. Maybe she had been adopted into this family, who could tell? But he meant to find out. As he finished his ale, he noticed the two young girls staring at him and bursting into giggles behind their hands. He winked at them and raised an eyebrow which sent them into hysterics. Then the uncle stood up and said, "That's quite enough! Let's get to our accommodations and rest up for our long journey in the morning. Perhaps then you'll be less obnoxious." They all pushed away from the table and made to leave, draining mugs and cups and wiping their mouths like the English do. Je-Lon felt his heart sink at the thought of losing contact with the lovely Zanna. Where were they journeying to? And miraculously, the question was answered. "I can't wait to see London again, Papa!" one of the young men exclaimed, And Grandfather Gladstone's estate and all the horses! I want to ride as soon as we get there!" "We shall see." the man answered, putting on his hat. "But first I have to take care of my business in London proper before we can go to your grandfather's so be patient, please." And they all went out in a cloud of excited voices saying things like, "I want to see the Tower! I want to see Buckingham Palace! I want to see Kensington Square and the Botanical Gardens! And the Fair! May we please go to the Fair, Uncle??" Zanna took her time donning her cloak. She then busied herself seeing to the girls and what they might have dropped or left. Yet all the time, Jeh-Lon imagined she was doing it for his benefit. Finally, she made eye contact with him and the world seemed to stop turning for the both of them. Then she gasped, turned and hurried to catch up with the group. Jeh-Lon spied a white lace handkerchief lying under their table and scooped it up and called out, "My Lady, would this be yours?" She turned back at his call and came back to reclaim the thing, wondering if he had seen her purposely drop it. She blushed madly. "Oh, yes, it is. Thank you so much, Sir!" She held out her hand and he gave it to her. Then raised that gloved hand to his lips and held it there perhaps a moment too long but he didn't care. "You are most welcome, Zanna. My pleasure to be of some little service." And she frowned and asked, "How do you know my......?" He looked up at her as his lips still lingered on her dainty hand and she fell silent and all but fell into his smiling eyes. "I will see you again, Zanna," he whispered. "This I promise you.""No, you can't." she protested, "You mustn't." "Oh, but I will." he said, his dark eyes turning darker, "You may be sure of that!" And she pulled her hand out of his and ran away, all the while looking back at him over her shoulder.
.jpg)
