I NEVER LOST YOU

I Never Lost You

I never lost you

In the sea or sand

In the sky as clouds rolled by

Letting go my hand.

I never lost you

In the dusk or dawn

In the dark or daydream

Noticing you'd gone.

I never lost you

In a crowded place

In a dim lit restaurant

With shadows on your face.

I never lost you

On a moonlight swim

Watching waves take you away

Held prisoner at their whim.

I never lost you

On a busy street

Walking fast ahead of me

With others yet to meet.

I never lost you

In the shining snow

Clutching love tight to my heart

Not wanting to let go.

I never lost you

In sheets of dreamless sleep

Watching your back turned from me

With no love left to keep.

I never lost you

Your dark eyes gave no sign

And though your body sleeps by me still,

You were never mine.

©by Voo

March 7, 2011

1:59 a.m.

                                                          You Were Never Mine
                                                                           by
                                                                       Janiva Magness

FACE OF A MONSTER

face of a monster


face of a monster stares back from the looking glass
eyes searching it's own eyes for signs of beauty
and finding none there, begins to weep

marred and scarred and pocked and pitted
the face resembling the landscape of the moon
and a mad scientist's experiment gone wrong
a hollywood special effects joke on the soul of an angel

a howl begins somewhere deep within the marrow of the man
works it's way up the belly, the heart, the soul
and erupts from the twisted mouth that will never know
the kiss of a woman

anguish unbearable and unending, the cry goes on till dawn
then whimpers it's way back down into silence 
and sleeps again until the cover of night returns
to allow the waking monster to creep about unseen
protected from mocking eyes of others

and all is well until the odd reflection of silver or glass
or the mirror encountered or moon on the water
reveals what the monster can no longer deceive himself
into believing does not exist: 
his twisted face and twisted flesh

he was not born this way but living now resembles living death
inside his hulk beats not a monster's heart 
but a soft and pliable loving, yearning mass, 
dreams and emotions, memories of sun and sky,
tenderness from touch of mother's hands, 
smiles of friends and taste of apples

soft, soft beauty, sweet, sweet caress memories
like the fuzz of dandelions blowing in the wind
the face of the monster is bowed into the dark wind now,
tears falling on the pavement like raindrops 
and in his sorrowed heart bursts the passion of a thunderstorm
and the kindness of a saint but no one will ever know
because no one ever looks beyond the face.

©by Voo
Jan 8, 2005 
7:15 p.m.

X RAY VISION AND BIG GLASS HEARTS

X Ray Vision and Big Glass Hearts

♥

He’s sitting there

With a cap pulled down across his face

Drinking something lukewarm

That was cold an hour ago

Staring at me

And pretending he’s not.

♥

He doesn’t know

I have x-ray vision

And the ability to read minds

And if he did

He’d probably jump up

And go running off like a rabbit.

♥

He’s shy but he’s cute

I can see he’s got a hole in him

Big as the Grand Canyon

But nevertheless,

With a hammer and a few nails

He could be mended in no time

By the right carpenter.

♥

I work for a carpenter

So I know about this stuff

I understand levels and saws

And three quarter nails

And hammering

With just the right touch

(Not many girls work with wood.)

♥

We’re sitting in a park

And there’s a Dutch band singing

Some obscure something from the Netherlands

And the locals are trying to make out

Like they’re sophisticated enough

To understand it

But they don’t have a clue

It might as well be written in Klingon.

♥

He lets out a sigh

And acts like he’s going to get up

He’s lying on an old quilt

That looks like he’s had it since college

There’s a book of Rumi, a New Testament

And a half eaten cheeseburger

Made out of soy and egg whites

That’s being carried away by an army of ants

(But they’re not gonna like it, either.)

♥

A girl comes through the crowd

Selling LED plastic roses

And Star Wars swords and bracelets

And I think for a moment

That he’s gonna buy me something

I feel him thinking about it

He reaches for his wallet, puts it back

And shrugs.

♥

Damn! I really wanted that pink plastic rose!

He turns away from me now

To peruse the other side of the park

And I look at the picture I just took of him

With my micro mini digital ink pen

And I grin

He really is cute.

♥

Maybe I should spill something on him, I think

Otherwise, we’re gonna be here all afternoon

And the unintelligible concert is gonna end

And he’s gonna leave and I’m gonna leave

And we’ll never learn one another’s names

Or go have that cup of coffee I’m dying for

What to do? What to do?

♥

The sun has set and it’s beautiful

I stand up with my arms full of stuff,

Drop my purse and it’s contents fly out everywhere

Most of the stuff is so embarrassing

I don’t even want to claim it

Dollar store do-dads and lipsticks and gum

I write it off and walk away.

♥

I’m halfway to my car

When I hear a voice behind me

And I turn and it’s the guy in the cap

“Excuse me, miss, I think this heart is yours.”

And I turn and he’s holding a big red glass heart

That I’ve been carrying around as long as I can remember

For no particular reason that I know.

♥

I look at the heart and I look at him

And I’m as tongue tied as I ever have been

And I say, “No, I think that heart belongs to you.”

“That’s what I was hoping you’d say.” he says

And deposits the object into his shirt pocket,

Tilts back his head,

And shows me the face under the cap.

♥

“I was just planning to have a cup of coffee,”

“Would you care to join me?” he asks quietly

And I nod yes and shove all my junk in my car

He’s got his quilt thrown over his shoulder

And he’s still holding that bottle of lukewarm whatever

And he’s motioning towards a vehicle of indeterminable color.

♥

“How about that band? Weren’t they great?!” he says

And I look at him with my x-ray eyes

And see that he’s testing me

And that he’s laughing his butt off inside

“I’ve heard better music around a pond.“ I say finally

And he smiles approvingly and takes my arm.

♥

He leads me to his car and opens the door

I get in like I’ve known him all my life

And I feel perfectly safe and perfectly content

He turns the ignition and a mix tape starts playing

Some otherworldly combination

Of country, blues, reggae, rock, indie

Spoken word poetry and gospel.

♥

He pushes back the cap

And looks me straight in the eye

“I hope you don’t think I’m too forward,” he says

And clears his throat

“But I’ve been watching you watching me for hours

And I’ve never met anyone with x-ray eyes before,

What’s your diagnosis?”

♥

“I think I can help you.” I say

And reach out and lay my hand on his heart

“I think I know exactly what’s wrong

And how to fix it

And I think I’m here not a moment too soon.”

And he grins and I grin and the fireworks go off

As the twilight starts falling

And the awful band screeches to a sci/fi grinding halt

In  the middle of a Dutch/Klingon lyric.

♥

♥

by Voo copywrited

May 22, 2011

3:53 p.m.

♥

QA TLHO’ to my Muse*

(thank you in Klingon

                                                                                 

                                                                             

                                                              Klingon Song

                                                                        

                                                              Klingnon Love, Baby!!!!

RAINING ON THE NIGHT TRAIN

Raining On The Night Train

It was raining on the night train

As it hustled through the dark

Taking me away from sorrow

Moving closer to your heart

For so long, I’d lived without you

Missed the sweetness of your smile

Till I thought I’d just go crazy

Unless I spent a little while

In those arms so tightly muscled

In those eyes that drew me in

In those hands that felt like velvet

Saintly, with a touch of sin

I couldn’t stand it any longer

Called your number, found you home

Heard that voice so full of hunger

Say “Baby Girl, I’m all alone”

So I hurried, caught the last train

Watched the rain the whole night through

Wondering what I’d say at long last

When I laid my eyes on you

©by Voo

July 2, 07

midnight

click on link for spoken word version

https://soundcloud.com/user-780266601/raning-on-the-night-train3-0

               Voo reading the poem on soundcloud

REBIRTH PTS 1 AND 2

rebirth
part one


tracing the character lines down the contours
of your face (your scars of life, you called them)
my fingers feel a warmth there that does not
flare from your nostrils or show in your eyes,
those cold, dead things that, emotionless,
push me away despite the silent screaming
I hear echoing there in the recesses of your soul,
bouncing off the chasm where your young heart 
once beat in time with mine….

I touch the earlobe of the ear that doesn’t listen
to me anymore and feel the pulse throbbing
in the neck that does not turn when I walk
into the room like it used to when I was beautiful.

loneliness grasps me in it’s cold hard hand
and tells me to leave you alone, to run back
to my room with it’s white sheeted bed and
tear soaked pillows and candlelight that burns
only to read by and I turn to go when
my hand falls upon the chest that my head has
lain upon a thousand happy times
a thousand lonely years ago and I feel no heartbeat….

for a moment, I hear no breath, I sense no life…
like you have finally exited the body that has lived
in this house with me all these silent, angry years. 
a sob escapes my throat and I, helpless, move to run for help…
it’s then your hand in rapid motion, grasps my wrist
and pulls me down, your eyes streaming with tears
your breath coming in great agonizing storm.

you terrify me with wordless fear I cannot comprehend
“I thought you were dead,” I whisper and you whisper,
“I was. I was.” and you hold me in a lover’s embrace
and cover my face with kisses, eyes new and fiery
with a passion that I have wept for in the darkness
down the hall. “Forgive me!” you cry and pull my head
down to the chest that now heaves with breath and life
and familiarity that moments ago seemed so alien….

“I looked at you,” you say softly and raise my head
to meet your eyes. “I looked at you and I saw how
beautiful you are and it took my breath away.”
“I’m a fool”, you say, “and I don’t want to lose you.
stay here in my arms and let me hold you all night.”
“No.” I answer firmly. “No, I won’t stay here with you.”

I let you drown in your confusion and heartbreak then
for a taste of what I have drowned in
these countless days and nights............
and then I take your hand and pull you to me, tasting your joy,
pull you down the hall and into the room full of candle light,
into the white sheeted bed with it’s many pillows….
into the arms that welcome you back like you had never left them 
into a heart that once abandoned, breathes again and lives.

may 3, 2005

11 p.m.

©by Voo

   continued  below....in part two

rebirth
part two

I lay my head upon your heart like I did when we were young
and new in the ways of love and you smile at me
with the smile of the man I used to know before
you became an unknowable stranger. I feel like I am suddenly born again,

emerged from the tomb of lovelessness and grief
the candle burns low but even in the growing darkness
I watch you loving me, feel you healing me with your touch
as our tears mingle there without shame now face to face.

“I love you!” we say a hundred times as the long night fades
into the rising of a different day and the sun bursts out upon
me, half expecting to wake and find it all a lovely dream
but it is no dream, it’s real, I am real again 
and life has resurrected the dead

the world spins and outside our windows,
day passes and turns again to night but still we lie here
lost in love and finding all that we had lost has been restored
my hands cannot stop touching you. I will never stop touching you!
so overwhelmed am I in this gift, this answered prayer,
I cannot speak but my heart speaks for me
and your attentive ear listens to every word
I feel beautiful again and so alive, the days before seem like distant memories….

love gives us life, I think and you nod 
as though you heard my thought
the storm comes now with thunder rolling and lightning flashing 
and we lie in the noise and watch the rain drops 
falling down in fury
washing away the dust, washing away the pain

if I must die, let me die in this moment of life, I think
this rebirth of love and completion of the circle begun so long ago 
but I will not let you die again and leave me! 
I will not let you go back to that room down the hall entombed in memories
while I drown in my own tears so close to death and dreams undone….

no, I will stay here in your arms 
until tomorrow closes it’s doors and bids us goodbye forever 
No more dying now but life enfolds us and that is enough
I am happy. I know joy once more in my heart….
I feel you growing sleepy but I cannot go to that realm now
I only want to lie here watching you in the flash of storm
tracing the contours of your face 
and cherishing the warmth I still see there in your eyes.

 

To Make You Feel My Love 

 by Garth Brooks