collab

Saturday, July 11, 2020

His Arrival Was Foretold...........

funny cat memes - 9380384768

Amaze Your Friends!!!! Be A Floater!!!!!

Footwear - HOW TO FLOAT 1 Pour water on ground 2. Step away trom water




Actual Complaints....hysterical idiocy





village idiots - Google Search


funny-idiot-pictures-wallpaper-hd.jpg



THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY "THOMAS COOK VACATIONS" FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS:

  1. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food."
  2. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax."
  3. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish."
  4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price."
  5. "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room."
  6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow."
  7. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallartato close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time -- this should be banned."
  8. "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared."
  9. "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers."
  10. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."
  11. "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun."
  12. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair."
  13. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller."
  14. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the resort.' We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service."
  15. "When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners."
  16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."
  17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."
  18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."
  19. "My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked.



  1. BE AWARE ...THEY WALK AMONG US
    BE AFRAID..... BE VERY AFRAID



Great new camper gag, sending them to get dehydrated water or a left handed smoke shifter :)Hahaha thats just so funny for that pic !!





You're doing it wrong!!  We used to sit and watch people try to load their boats. Never saw this, but man there are some stupid people out there.
                                                                                                   


Stop killing ducks - Imgur



Can't stop idiots - Imgflip





Friday, July 10, 2020

Nuggets



Nuggets


Candy used to be a rare sweet treat
(But candy kills you now)
Don't drink that milk, it'll make you sick!
(But Lord knows, I don't see how.)

Stay away from ham and cheese
Only drink green tea
Stay away from sugary things
(So, stay away from me.)

They say that good taste matters not
Good taste is bad for you
Only eat things that are bright green
And nothing organically true.

Plastic beef and rubber bread
Genetically modified
Impossible patties made from improbable meat
(But still, they must be fried.)

Fake diet colas, they set it off
This new world banquet spread
Stuff with no taste to slim down your waist
(But your taste buds will wish you were dead).

Jelly's made of petroleum now
And marshmallows are made of wool
Processed so fine they can fool a weak mind
(Naw, haha that's a whole lot of bull.)

Tomatoes taste like...well, they don't taste like nothing
I don't know any produce that does
I miss the gardens full of  live growing things
I miss the way it was.

The kids think chickens are hatched as nuggets
And come with a special sauce
And fish are square, like their buns lying there
And salads all come tossed.

I wonder what humanity will do
When real seeds all disappear
No wheat, no grains, singing sad refrains
As they drink their fake diet beer.

Now we're told to keep our distance
From other human folks
Bad for our health as masked men rake in that wealth
(Remember the egg whites and the yolks?)

How they said the yolks were killing us?
And we must only eat the white?
So we threw away the protein
And gagged on the rest alright.   (yuck!)

Then they terrify us 'bout bacon
And we pledge our pinkie swears
Believing that stuff will kill us all
(But it's so good nobody cares.)

What am I saying? (I don't know what I'm saying)
This corrupt world has driven me mad
Up is now down and square is now round
And they've changed all the good things we had.

We're stuck with hybrid GMOs
Eat factory made fruit clones
Robots make our food (excuse me, our fodder)
That taste delish like a mix of pine cones.

We're idiots now, just cattle in herds
We buy what they say that we must
And the next thing you'll see them selling on your t.v. 
Will be FDA approved packages of dust!!!


(enriched with vitamins and minerals
and red food dye!)






©by Voo
July10, 2020
1:49 a.m.

(bake your pine cones for 30 minutes at 350 degrees.
Lightly dust with sugar-free chemicals and enjoy with a glass of
all natural city tap water imported from Flint, Michigan. Yum!)