Falling To Pieces
I heard someone say recently,
An actress actually, that I've always liked
Without really knowing why
But someone asked her to tell them what love is
And I held my breath
And was amazed at her answer
As tears sprang to my eyes and rolled down my cheeks.
(I've cried more in the last two months than I have in years)
But my tear reservoir seems to be inexhaustible
And is filled to overflowing
And it doesn't take much now to break that dam in me
But what she said, after some thought, was this:
"I think love is feeling safe with someone."
And I realized that her observation
Was so very true and so very simple
That no one could argue or misunderstand.
And I realized that "feeling safe"
Was what made me love you and what made me feel loved
For that's what I felt until just yesterday
I felt safe, understood, cared for... and loved
In ways I've never felt before with anyone else.
Understood for the first time
In my whole life,
Appreciated for all the nuances
And layers of me
The core and the complexities
And the compartments of me.
Until you pulled the rug out from under my heart
And in the falling, my eyes flew open
And I saw that I didn't really know who you were
And that most evidently........
You didn't know me
Or understand or appreciate who I truly am
So how could you love me?
It was a revelation almost beyond the bearing,
Heartbreaking, torturous...getting slapped in the face
Murdered after being made to feel so alive
Alive in your eyes, your kiss, and your arms
In every word spoken and every line written
And I could not and do not feel alive anymore.
How can I?
Nothing is real or realistic
Nothing clearcut or hardset or firm
Nothing clearcut or hardset or firm
Nothing is etched in stone like I thought
Nothing is tangible or without doubt, confirmed
The beauty of the bloom has faded,
The melody of our song, gone quite off key
The prose has become just long strings of words
Images once real, ghostly things I can't see.
I wonder if someday I'll forget how it was
How I felt taken for granted and alone one sad night
And to my amazement, you sent me a song
That told me you loved me and would never do that
(And I cried for hours at that gesture so sweet)
'Cause it was so beautiful, like an answer to prayer
And I felt how in tune and connected we were.
And how just out of nowhere
In some wondrous way
When I expected it least and needed it most....
There you were on the other side of the world
Across the mountains, and the deep sea of blue
Sending a message.....with the words.......
I see you.
You will never know how happy that made me
How cherished I felt, how safely secure
You'll never know
Because now, what can I say?
You took the joy and the sunshine away
You were my friend and my love to adore
But I no longer feel loved or safe anymore.
©By Voo Shining Stone
June 16, 2020
6:46 p.m.
Forgive Me
6:46 p.m.
Forgive Me
