collab

Sunday, June 11, 2023

The Blue Vineyard Of Voo Shining Stone: NIGHT TRAIN TO THE STARS AT THE ALL NIGHT CAFE

The Blue Vineyard Of Voo Shining Stone: NIGHT TRAIN TO THE STARS AT THE ALL NIGHT CAFE: click on Loop on the vid to keep soundtrack playing Night Train To The Stars At The All Night Cafe ...

Cats In This Neigborhood Episode ONE


Every year is the Year of the Cat, baby!!!






My sidekick and roving feline reporter, Roscoe Ratcatcher



REPORTING ALL THE NEWS THAT'S FIT TO PRINT.................OR NOT...........

๐Ÿ˜ฝ๐Ÿ˜พ๐Ÿ˜ฟ๐Ÿ™€๐Ÿ˜ธ๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜บ


THE CATS IN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD......
DO THE 
ORDINARY THINGS CATS DO.......



                         
                                                    They go to the tanning salon................



                                                    They teach the ways of the Einstein..............





                        They play video games on those damn computers 24/7 
                           instead of reading newsworthy articles like this one!!!!





Some of them are great hunters and chefs at local restaurants๐Ÿ˜‰





Some are friendly receptionists......on occasion..


However.........................

                                                                         


                                                    We're almost sure 
                                that there is a cold blooded killer among them....

                                                                              ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฆ


                                   Especially since Sensei Wang Dang Doo went missing


                                            ๐Ÿ˜ฎ


                            The kids are alright as kids go.....๐Ÿคช







                                                 At least till bath time...........



                     If they get out of line, they go before Judge Pawker, the hanging judge



๐Ÿš€๐Ÿš€



                                          One little fellow is training to be an astronaut..............

                                           ๐Ÿš€




                                                            "Old Willie" 
                     likes to hang out on dating sites and insult humans...............





                                                      Then there's Bruce............
                                       the paranormal expert who loves to pop up 
                                        when you least expect it.............

                                      ๐Ÿ’€ ๐Ÿ‘€





                                  We never paid the local Meow Militia much mind until
                             this poster started showing up on neighborhood telephone poles 
                                                 and on the internets.................
                                Several of us started arming ourselves 
                                                  ๐Ÿถ  with bulldogs and laser light pointers....

                                             



                                         Oh, some of them are quite talented.
                           For instance, Snowball plays The Grinch every Christmas at the
                                         FELINE THESPIAN FUNHOUSE THEATRE.................


                                                        Here' s Mickey Meat Loaf, 
                               who usually wins all the local bike-a-thons..
and Garfield look-a-like contests.....
when he's not in prison




                                      Brothers  Huey, Duey, Looey, and Clyde 
                                do double duty as window washers and peeping toms......

   
                                                                 


                                        Yesterday Donald was caught by his brother's cell phone 
                                                                     sticking his tongue out at his mom.
                                                     (he is now grounded for six of his nine lives)




One of my personal favorites is the preacher cat, 
The Right Reverand Moochie Mewhard, 
who goes about casting the devil out of his fellow felines ......
whether they need it or not...................





This guy is a Rock Star wannabe who practices 
falling backwards into mosh pits at any given opportunity. 
He can't sing or play guitar, he just.....falls




Here we have Manny Moo at the kitchen table today
after the Vet told his Mom to put him on a diet.
 Needless to say, Manny did not appreciate the carrot and
 Buttermilk Smoothie.....




Well, I think this hidden Cat Cam 
clears up the mystery of a killer loose in the neighborhood.
I wondered why I hadn't got a paper the last three days....................



Spockles has really been enjoying all the new Star Wars series, he says 
but is fighting for a part in the next Star Trek franchise.......coming soon 
But he said he's tired of all this Non-Human exclusion 
in Hollywood at the Oscars. Calls it Catism Racism.
He can walk a red carpet just as well as 
Lady GooGoo Ga Ga .......  Whatever




Local meowers, The JellyBellies performed the 
only song they know for the big charity event CATSRUS last night....
The song?  STUCK ON YOU by Lionel Richie. They sung it 47 times
before being booed off the stage.





In other news..........bad brothers Bobby and BoDiddly have been up
to their old tricks, stealing toilet paper  and paper towels out of any open bathroom 
windows they can find. Traces of it literally litter the whole neighborhood.
It's a crime and a shame how some cats turn out. But....that's what catnip will do to you.



Local businessman....er...cat, Bojangles Popeye Church, explains his new fried chicken
 proposal to potential investors at KFC HQ.  (Kittens Felines and Cats) 
It was later said that he did quite an impressive
PowerPoint presentation even though nobody knew how it ended because he threw up
a hair ball on the keyboard and it kind of went down hill from there.




Also, as a lesson to all the high schoolers..........
this picture was circulated amongst them 
Friday to remind them not to be like Jolly.
 (Jolly won't eat anything if it's not in capsule form)
Don't Be like Jolly.




As most of you know, General Bonkers 
went live on the Cat News Network tonight to try to calm the masses
after a huge UFO was seen hovering over Mrs. Bailey's back yard. It took out all of her bird feeders and seven squirrels. Please contact  General Bonkers at the Feline Flying Force Base 
(the shed behind the garage on Baker Street) if you have any information. We suspect Claude Jay, the kid who likes to build model airplanes and stuff but have no concrete proof.....
General Bonkers is offering a $25.00 reward and all the rats you can eat......
which probably will preclude any humans turning him in.............




AND TO ALL OUR HUMAN READERS.......

In closing this week.....just a friendly reminder this winter or next


Remember your feline friends...
because they never forget a slight...........


๐Ÿ˜พ

We will return soon with more
 Cats In This Neighborhood News..............
until next time.....Farewell and Meow from your Oh, so Human Reporter.....
Voo Ima Standingby and the ever cool Roscoe "Sup" Ratcatcher

psstttt!!!!!!!!!


Francis, the Angry Feline
will be back with his popular editorials
in two weeks. He has been in intense pychotherapy
as of late trying to get over his life long anger
at the world in general and at me and Roscoe in particular.
I think it's because we discovered that he was named after 
Frank Sinatra by a crazy cat lady who'd had a crush on 
Ole Blue Eyes from childhood.



(He hates the name Francis)
but don't call him Frankie either.
(he hates everything)
๐Ÿ™€๐Ÿ™€๐Ÿ™€

From the MOBK.org  (Mothers Of Bad Kitties)
(pd adverisement)
Attention you thugs and alley cats.....and
especially you, A. Catinova Wisenheimer!!!!

PLEASE STOP THE VIOLENCE!!!!!!!









                                         (Man! I've got to find myself a new audience!)

Saturday, June 10, 2023

Hallmark Moments That Never Were

 



Hallmark Moments
that never were


I had a Hallmark moment once
With my dad....................
The trouble is, I don't remember it
And looking at this photo here
We both looked scared too death
Of one another.........so.....

What is it
I am supposed to remember
And would I want to remember
Anything if I could?
And I wonder what it was
That he remembered about me
In the long icy years 
Before he passed from this life?

I remember my Pa, my daddy's daddy
And how much fun we had together
And how he laughed at all my antics
As we went fishing or riding
Or  just to the store
Where he'd buy me Grapettes and candy 
And I'd always want more.

I remember horses and cattle barns and sawdust at auctions
And how excited they'd be cause they thought it was slick
When I'd run down and do my "horse whisperer" trick
Coming home with a truck full and most of them, free
Cause they couldn't be tamed by nobody but me.

I remember playing cowboys and indians
And robbers and cops
Setting the sawmill on fire with my little friend, Eddie
 And how bad we felt
When the whole thing went up.

I remember I loved all the animals
And they all loved me
But I really loved horses
And I hadn't a care
I would sneak out and sleep in the stables beside them
And Mama would scream when she found me there.


I remember Mama's song writing
And singing and ironing
Her fried chicken and biscuits
And Ma's apple cakes 
The country way Ma talked
Calling asparagus "Sparegrass"
And it was embarrassing to us kids
But boy, she could bake!

I remember the creek and the bridge
And the swimming hole in summer
Sitting on the stock-gap and up in the trees
Playing circus and clowns
With my brothers and sisters
Writing poetry for hours
'Bout the birds and the bees.

I remember sharing Ma's secrets
And going through her treasures 
Stealing chocolate covered cherries
That she thought I couldn't see
And how she would rail then
But she knew it was me.

I remember pet cats and dogs 
And squirrels and horses
Rabbits and pigs
And geese and goats
Cows and chickens
That Pa sold me for pennies
Like peacocks and turtles
But I hated the guineas.

I remember Mama dressing up
In outrageous costumes
Coming round to the door
And fooling our dad
Who thought she was a stranger
And how we all laughed
But he never saw funny, he always got mad.

I remember  gallons of ice cream and Ma's baby brother
Visiting the kinfolk that lived far off a ways
Working hard in the summer and sneaking off on Ole Dan
Riding up in the hills and staying all day.

I remember a lot of things
And some of them good
But most times were bad
Just because of my Dad
And to make a bad rhyme here:
That is so sad.

I wish I could remember him loving me 
Like a daddy should love
His own little girl
And him making me giggle
And buying me toys
But all I remember is his sad, angry world.

And in light of that memory
I've tried to make all my life
One big Hallmark moment
In the joy and the strife.........
And sometimes, I failed
And sometimes I succeeded 
But there have been many and I'm proud of that.


©By Voo 
June 17, 2017
10:47 p.m.



dedicated to Fathers everywhere
Please make happy times
For your kids to remember
For after all,
what else is left of you when you go
but the memories?


                                                         Remember by Sarah Mc Lachlan


Giving Away  Laughter by John Trudell

Man Of Contradictions

 





(The Man of 
 Contradictions)


I loved a man of contradictions
Who none of his promises kept
He wrote pages of poetry about wiping my tears
But he was the reason I wept.

I told him all about myself
My dreams, my fears, my hope
But when I queried a simple question
With that he could not cope.

He wrote of gods and goddesses
Of Poseidon under the sea
He wrote long poems about mists and mysteries
But few of his love for me.

And if he did, it was a series
Of questions without end
That took you down such winding roads
And back where they'd begin.

And you never got an answer
To any question asked
Not about the future
And not about the past.

The more you learned, the less you knew
And life went on the same
And all  you knew at the end of the day
Was his last and given name.

Oh, he could tell you about magic
Or Medusa with snakes in her hair
And he could write books about  Lilith's good looks
But about him, he had little to share.

Such a contradiction, was this man
Always secretly, carefully contained
He could charm and be bold till the unknown turned you cold
He could obtain love but could not love sustain.

He didn't lie but didn't tell you the truth
He just omitted all the everyday facts
We'd talk for hours about joy and pain
But I never knew the man behind the mask.

How can you love a man that you don't really know?
How can you long for one who can't seem to care?
How can you believe he'll ever be there for you 
When every time you turn 'round, he's not there.

The man of contradictions
The darkness and the light
Rolled into one, the fear and the fun
But only real in the dreams of the night.

I never was sure where I stood 
Never was sure how he felt
He seemed to think I should  just be so happy
With the mysterious cards that he dealt.

But I was never happy
And never satisfied
For he never gave me enough to be
And the gulf was always wide.

His joy could be contagious
And you hoped that it was true
Then from out of nowhere in the blink of an eye
He'd turn and blindside you.

And you never saw it coming
Or knew from whence it came
You wondered what on earth you'd done
And why you felt such shame.

Eggshells were the carpets you walked on
You had to tread so light
Because you never knew what made
His sunshine turn to night.

I loved him, oh, I loved him!
With all my heart and soul
But I never was a priority
A need, desire or goal.

I don't know what I meant to him
If indeed, meant any thing
In light of the way it all fell away
When I woke from that indecipherable dream.

The man of contradictions 
And complexities so deep
He'll never share his heart with me 
And his secrets will always keep.

Our love will fade into the mist
Like a cloud into the blue
And none of the dreams I shared with him
Will I ever see come true.

I stood and I waited, he walked away
I wanted the joy, and he chose the woe
God put together what his fear tore asunder
And that fairytale ending now, we'll never know.





©by Voo Shining Stone






๐Ÿ˜ฅ๐Ÿ’”