PRECIOUS THINGS, BROKEN

Precious Things, Broken

Like a jar of clay, cracked

My life has spilled out before you

Floods of tears have flowed like rivers

And still they do not stop.

Why, Lord? I ask and ask again

And You haven't deemed to answer

I look to see Your face

Where it's always been before.

And there is nothing but a shadow

Of the joys of yesterday

Nothing but a whisper

Of the love songs that were played.

Why, Lord? Why?

Why these endless tests and trials

These mazes with no doors?

These sad rooms with no floors?

Yesterday, I thought I'd won the battle

I thought I'd run the course

I thought I'd made You proud of me

I thought I'd get to rest.

And then without warning,

The sky fell down, the sea arose

The sun turned black

And nothing, nothing, made sense anymore.

Every time I grow up

I become a child again

Every time I am free

I become entangled with sorrow.

You know my heart

You know how I think and how I feel

You know who I am and who I'll never be

You know me, Lord! Don't You?

I thought I knew who I was,  at last

And where I was going 

And what I was going to do for You

But now I  see nothing and know even less.

How can a mortal die a thousand deaths

And still survive?

How can a heart keep beating

When it no longer has a life?

If I were an alabaster box, Lord

I could pour out

A fragrance fit to wash Your feet

But there is nothing in me now that's sweet.

I am a crushed red rose lying on a road

And all the enemies I ever had

Are marching over me, laughing

Taunting me, saying, "Where's your God?!"

And I'll admit: I don't know where You are

Not now, not since......this...this....test

That I have so obviously failed

Again for the millionth time.

Yesterday I had the faith to move mountains

Yesterday I had the fire shut up in my bones

Yesterday I had the tongue of a preacher

And my lips were as the pen of a ready writer.

But all the words are gone

Dried up like dust in an abandoned mine

And the spark inside me is so low

I can't even see it in the dark.

Lord, help me!!!! Hear my heart!

Give me back Your presence

And the safety of Your wings

I am tossed to and fro like a sparrow's feather.

A sparrow, that's what You called me

And that's all I ever wanted to be

A baby bird growing to maturity

Under Your care and the shelter of Your love.

I didn't think I could ever hurt like this again

I didn't think You'd ever allow it

But You did, You did and I don't know what to do now

I don't know how to feel because I no longer feel...You.

Are You watching me from somewhere up there in Heaven?

Are You putting these words in my mind

And making me write them down?

Or is this the only way I have to cry out to You?

Everything I have ever loved has been taken, Lord!

Every safety net has been pulled out from under me

Every thing I trusted in has stabbed me in the back

And every hope I had has fled away in destitution.

Why, Lord? Why? I thought the wheel had stopped

And I had been remade enough to make the grade

All those years of polishing, refinishing, refining

And yet here I am again in a pile of broken plates.

All those precious things..............

All the people I loved.....

All the prayers I prayed.....

All broken now and scattered to the wind, unanswered.

And even now, Lord, I love You enough to say

Let me come home, let me be where You are

Let me lay every broken thing in my life, in me

At Your feet, at the only place that they can be made whole.

©by Voo

Jan 20, 2015

12:55 a.m.


Falling Slowly by Brian Crain