Lose Yourself To Dance
Fireball by Pitbull
A Voo Creation
March 2019
I am a Storyteller, first and foremost. This is my blog for poetry, prose, stories, excerpts of my novels and videos. Life poetry, prophetic poetry, poetry for all genres. I think you'll find yourself here if you read long enough.
I'm lost! How do I dance out of this place?
ReplyDeletepssst! (go down the pole, there's a secret door) lol
DeleteWhich pole? The first one or the second one?
DeleteThe third one.......
DeleteWhat do I do with the fourth one? I'm starting to see double.
DeleteDon't tempt me, D'Sal!!!! lol Don't make me go there....
Deleteuh, let go of that invisible pole and let's see what happens...
rofl
Someone better catch me cause I just dropped in to see what condition my condition was in!
DeleteI'll make sure the bouncer catches you. His name is Bruce.
DeleteBruce ain't there. But Aachoo is!!! She's on the first pole. Maybe I'll hang around there.
DeleteGood grief, D'Sal!!! You still here???!!!
DeleteDon't you have a curfew?? I'll have Bruce carry you to your car.......lol
Come and get me!!!
Delete
Delete*Bruce and Voo chase D'Sal round the club, behind the DJ booth where he stops to spin a
couple of Don Williams songs that no one can dance to...People boo and throw lemon wedges....
Voo and Bruce chase D out into parking lot as he cackles wildly while clutching a huge
bottle of made-for-display-not-real Tequila. "Don't drink that, Not Round!" Voo screams as he stops behind a dumpster and puts the bottle to his lips. "Nooooooo!" she cries as he chugs the
liquid quickly and drops to the ground breaking the pretty bottle and flops around trying to
grab the worm from the bottom of the jagged bottle. He looks puzzled but puts the worm in his
shiny black disco pant's pocket as Bruce and Voo look at one another and scream with laughter.
"D'Sal," Voo says after a few minutes of watching him attempt to get to his feet. He achieves
his goal and does a fine little jig for the growing audience in the midnight parking lot.He even
sings a few verses of La Cucaracha and then climbs upon the back of a pick-up truck and swan dives into the bed and awakens a large German Shepherd former police dog who is not
thrilled with what he can only assume is a fleeing perpetrator and immediately goes into action, taking the startled D'Sal down and sitting on his face until backup arrives. People swarm the truck taking cell phone pics and selfies and laughing uproarously at the man under the dog's rump. Bruce calms the dog and pulls D'Sal out of the truck bed and tries to stand him on his feet. "I'm sorry, Aachoo," D'Sal says drunkenly."I didn't mean to cause a ruckus. But, man! That
was the best tequila I ever had! Woo, doogies! Yum!" Bruce throws D'Sal over his shoulder and takes him to his car for a personal escort home. "D'Sal!" Voo shouts as Bruce throws him into the back seat of the Monte Carlo, "You know that was just colored water, don't you? You know that wasn't real tequila, don't you? It was a DISPLAY ITEM! Just for show!!! You're not drunk, Compadre!!! You're just loco!!!!" And Bruce drives away, leaving D'Sal Not Round somewhere on the side of the road between east and west Texas. It was a night that would go down in history as one of the funniest things to ever happen at Voo's House of Dance. And the next time that Voo
would see D'Sal Not Round, she would give him a hug and a kiss and then slap him clean across
the room into a Dancing Monkey balloon for breaking her pretty display bottle.....
Delete
The END
DeleteHey! That's not how it ended!!!!!!
DeleteOh yes, it did!!!! It ended with you on the side of the road
Deletesuffering from a fake hangover. Besides, dude, Aachoo Voo lives
in the 1940s!!!!! You can't call her, D'Sal! The 1940s!!!!! lol
bless your heart......🤣🤗🤩😥😏🙄😑😀🤡🤫👽
Oh! There must have been something really good in that bottle!!! You know she's timeless! She lives even in this century. So, she did pick me up and we ended up in your club and she belly danced and even pole danced. Well, I did the pole dance after she coaxed me into it.
DeleteThe End!!!!!
Oh no, you DIDN"T!!!!! DUDE, I'm gonna have to put you on LOckDown, you bad, bad man!!!
DeleteAachoo cannot be brought to the 21st century to save your loco behind! Ok, just for that...
I'm gonna write you into the story as a wad of gum on 42nd st!!!! D'Sal Chewing Gum! Yep! uh huh.
rofl good night and keep quiet!!!! I have a paddle. I said, Quiet! Shhh! nope. shhh. not another word! lol bye, buddy.....
While I was doing my pole dance, Aachoo got a crowd going with a line dance around the other pole. Then she jumped down on the dance floor in her high heels and had everyone including the bikers doing the cotton-eyed Joe or is it the cock-eyed Joe, I don't know, I was still under the influence of that new teqwila I had earlier. And there I was at the end of my rope or is it slope, oooooh my head, it's starting to lean........then I saw one shoe go flying across the room as she kicked it up a notch with the second one following. (one of them caught Bruce on the side of the head and bouncered off into the crowd). (He caught the second one in mid-air as it came across........
DeleteMan, you just can't let go, can you????? lol lol
DeleteAfter paying Bruce the bouncer off, Bruce goes over to one of the tables with a bottle of the same teqwila and takes a big swig and gets wound up tighter’n a banjo strang that's ready to break and actually etst down on the floor with the other line dancers and starts a swishin and a swaying and before we realized it he's doin the “Achy Breaky”!
Deletehttps://youtu.be/73BfPHJ40HM
We watch as he steps to the right then steps to the left, four steps back, tap to the front then tap to the back and spin to the left and start again.
Then Voo, the good sport that she is, not wanting to be outdone takes a big swig from the same bottle and jumps up onto the dance floor and starts doin the clog dance like Jed Clampett.
https://youtu.be/6iN4tPC6p80
The line dancers and the pole dancers were cheering her on!
That’s when me and Aachoo decide it's time to go and we scurry out, leaving Bruce and Voo to team up and start doin the “Achy Breaky Clog Dance”! (Somewhere there’s got to be a video of that).
As we exited Voo’s, we walked and we talked and ended in front Elliot’s Hardware store. That’s when she pulls out a key, unlocks the door and the fun begins! Draggin me over to the tung aisle, she pops open a can of shellac and starts shellacking a nice piece of already sanded wood she found in the board aisle. Oh how purdy she looked as she went from side to side. She looked like the Karate Kid in training; up down, up down, side to side. She was a piece of work! She didn't leave me "board"! And man did she work that piece of wood. She was an Aachoo Da Vinci! And the wee hours of the mornin went on while I pulled up a few paint cans so I could sit and watch a master shellacker at work.............
David..............you are mucho grande loco, man!!!
DeleteAnd it was Marshall's Hardware and Hat Emporium!!!!!
Where did you get Elliott's??? That is too funny as that is
my best friend's last name!!!! lol lol
P.S. I have not nor will I ever CLOG......!!!!! haha 😆🤣😊😉😚😫 you nut!!!!
Oh, that was some funny stuff! I had forgotten that you brought Voo and Aachoo Voo into the same century. How'd ju do dat??? lol funny, funny. I'm bored tonight and going thru old blogs. Still snowed and iced in here....
DeleteIt was 2:30 in the mornin’ when we decided to leave Elliott’s.
ReplyDeleteIt was right after she kicked me in the leg and told me to get up, and then said, “Why didn’t you answer me when I called you the first time?”
I said, “cause I didn’t hear you til you called me the third time…”
Then I looked up and that’s when I noticed it, she had a pair of eyes with a connective gleam……I looked around only to see a full moon shinin’ through the store window and glancin’ off the shellacked floor, shootin’ down the aisle, rick O’Sheain’ off the cash register glass window that was showin’ $2.30……. oh wait, that was the cat-clock on the wall with the eyes goin’ back and forth as it’s tail was aswingin’ in rhythm with the eyes…….. oh wait again, that was Aachoo lookin’ at me and shakin’ her head with that “tsk tsk tsk” look……
As she hept me up she swung my left arm around her neck while she took my other arm and wrapped it around her waist………. (She didn’t waist no time). As she was draggin’ me up the aisle I could feel something arousin’ from within….. with each step we took it kept comin’ up higher and higher……. by the time we got to the door it was so high…………………….and that’s when she noticed it…… as she looked at me with those big brown eyes she said, “you ain’t seen nothin’ yet!” And she was right…….right then and there is when it happened…….. she says, “take it easy and take it slow, D, you’re gonna be alright……just let it go………”.. I couldn’t wait another second, I took hold of her waist, reared back, then forward, and……….. by the time it was over, all that teqwila that I had in my system was sayin’, “adios muchacho!”
“Do you feel better, D? You had too much and it made you sick…….”
Then she looked at me with them…….oh never mind……then she says to me, “how bout we go over to my place now, I’ve got a real treat for you there.”
I said, “really?!”
“Yeah!” she says, “I baked a whole batch of ‘em last night!”
“Double chocolate chip cookies? What a pal!”, I said, “what a pal.………… uh oh! Here I go again…………..
You are just......I don't know. But you are just...lol lol
Deleteno more fake Tequila for you!!!! 🍸🍹🍷🥤
When I finally got composted, I swore to Aachoo (not the kind of bad language swore, just the swore swore) that I would never touch another drip of that teqwila that Voo serves at her place……
ReplyDeleteWe barely got outside the store when I got that feelin’ again! That’s when I noticed the trees across the street moving back and forth. Those trees started swaying like hippies around a campfire. (Aachoo saw it too! Gesundheit!) At that point I dropped to one knee……. poor Aachoo thought I was proposing to her, although that wasn’t a bad idea at the time….for a split second, but it wasn’t a second that split! It was the inseam of my pain’ts! Aachoo was so embursed in laughter that she fell back’ards on her daffy duff from laughin’ so hard that she kept saying, “I do! I do!” as she guffawed and horse laughed for almost an hour. I’m sure there were a whole lot of other synonymous synonyms to de-scribble her. What a mornin’ already, and it’s just starting…..
Well I finally stopped retchin’ long enough to see Aachoo finally stop her horse laughin’ and mule-kickin’ and get up off her duff to help me up.
ReplyDeleteI felt so wretched and sobered down that I decided to get sobered up and that’s when I heard Aachoo askin’ “are you okay big boy?” I didn’t know whether to tell her to hush up or ‘I was ok’, so I gave her a thumbs up and a blank stare……
“Come on big boy I’m takin’ you to my place and get you all cleaned…. it’s been a long night and there are some cookies made by your favorite cookie waiting on you.”
Just as I was startin’ to savor the thought Bruce comes up and says, “The Voo wants to know if you’re okay.”
So I said, “Tell her I’m okay and thanks for askin’!”
“Good cause she wants you to come back to her place…… she has a surprise for you.”
I didn’t know what to say, Aachoo had invited me to her place first, but The Voo, well, you would have to know her, she can be very persuasive, convincing too.
“Tell her I gotta date with Aachoo! She’ll understand” although I knew she wouldn’t as I was puttin’ my life in Aachoo’s hands.
“And tell her that her teqwila is mind blowin’ or is it bogglin’?! C’mon Aachoo I’m itchin’ to try some of yor cookies! And a glass of milk to dunk ‘em in.”
“C’mon big boy let’s get you all cleaned up so I can get you your cookies.”
It took a moment to process what she said. I coulda swore she………. well never mind, it’s just my imagination runnin’ away with me.
As I opened one eye I could tell I was lyin’ face down on Aachoo’s deevaan with a achin’ in ma haid……. So I slid ma haid to the edge of the coush. As I leaned over I saw that my hand was in a bucket of somethin’ that looked like somethin’ that someone would wretch up…….
ReplyDeleteThen I heard something that sounded so familiar that I could feel the slaver coming out of the sides of my lips.
It was Aachoo! She was alookin’ like a fast woman. She was clankin’ a spoon on the side of a nice, cold glass of milk. Then she held up a couple of double double chocolate chip cookies with extra chocolate frosting, sprinkled with sprinkles……… and a smile.
“Which do you think would taste sweeter, these two cookies or my lips?” Right then I knew she was fast! But I couldn’t get up quick enough to reach for one…… ma haind got tangered up in that bucket and heave ho juice went everywhere! But I managed to fall off the deevaan, rolled over to the table, landin’ face down and starin’ at her stockin’ feet; her toes were painted a purdy brown to match her eyes. (You know, I did look her over reeeeeal good when we were in Elliott’s Hardware store). Anyway, my eyes went from her feet following up to her ankle, up to her caif, and stopped at her knees…… all the while she just ashakin’ her head. “I’d stop right there, Big Boy!” I knew I was entering restricted territory so I slowly backed away with my eyes straight ahead, my mouth closed, my tongue in, and the slaver in my mouth justa backin’ up all the way to the back of my throat…… I finally took a good swaller, (swallered my pride as well).
I was able to pick muself up and was on my feet. I looked at them two cookies and the looked her lips over still trying to decide, if I took the cookies would she still offer me that kiss. Or if I took the kiss would she still offer me the cookies. (You got to admit, double double chocolate chip cookies with extra chocolate frostin’ and sprinkles is shor’ hard to paiss up… I was between a rock and a cookie! (a chocolate chip cookie!!!! You thought I meant her! Heh heh!)
I’ve made some hard decisions in my life but I have two weaknesses, chocolate chip cookies…………and women!
I finally said, “Aachoo, are you trying to bait me?” And she says, “I don’t do this for just anybody! So you’d better decide what you’re gonna do!”
Well I thought about it for what seemed like a haif hour and finally I said,
“I’ve hunted near, I’ve hunted far
I even call you my superstar!
I’ve never known a dish like you
Could make a board look good as new.
You move with ease with every stroke
On a piece of wood of solid oak.
But you’re good at gettin’ what you want
With curvy curves you like to flaunt.
So I’ll close my eyes and let you choose
If it’s me you want or am I just your muse.”
“Ok big boy we’ll have it your way
Cause what I got will make your day.
They’re sweet as honey, these tasty lips
So I’ll compromise with them chocolate chips.
I’ll close my eyes and place just one between these lips of mine
You just place your lips on the other end and see what you find.
With each tiny bite we’ll meet in the middle
Then we’ll have solved this sexy dilemma! (Bet you thought I was gonna say riddle)
To be continued………….
My god!!! You're INSANE!!! You been saving up all this lasciviousness all this time, have you??? It's just spewing out of you! What happened to you over in Hawaii??? My land, I don't rightly know what to say to all this. It's disgusting and yet... lovely in a twisted, demented D'Sal way. Did you get stung by a jellyfish by any chance??
Deletebut I do adore you. what does that say about me? I`d rather not know, btw
ReplyDeleteAdore?! Wow! I’ve never had anyone say that to me. ❤️ Love it!
Deletesorry for the typo.....lol I meant abhor........ rofl jk
Delete🤪👏😄
ReplyDeletelet us pray.................🙏
ReplyDeleteContinued…………….. I could feel the overt lecherous desire in her eyes as she looked at me deeply and intensely, waiting for the final moment to arrive when her lips would finally taste the last morsel of this sweet, delicious, savory, scrumptious, chocolatey, double double chocolate chip cookie……………………….. and my lips!
ReplyDeleteWith each little bite, I was moving closer to her lips as the slaver began dribblin’ down each side of my mouth and drippin’ on the floor, hopin’ it didn’t drip on her stockin’ feet. I knew at the other end of this cookie was the prize. (I’m talkin’ bout the chocolate chip cookie).
I had never noticed her sweet brown eyes the way I’m noticing them at this moment. They say love needs no words, just a look, and boy her eyes are shoutin’ at me. I can almost hear what she’s saying with her eyes.
They’re so pretty and they match her face very well. They have already made me forget about the rest of the world.
Whatever is happening behind those big, beautiful eyes is something I desperately want to be a part of. They’re eyes you never get tired of looking into.
With one last bite to take, I can feel that space between our lips close in as its energy gets charged up.
As I close my eyes I take that one last tiny bite and then I……………..
…..“D’Sal, wake up! I got breakfast made.”
I open my eyes and I’m face down on the deevaan with my arm danglin’ down on the floor. I slide over some and looked over the edge to see if my hand was in a bucket of my retch.
I looked around the room and over in the kitchen is the Voo. “What are you doing here? And where’s Aachoo?” “Gesundheit!” She says. “Where’s who?” “Aachoo! Where’s Aachoo?” “Gesundheit!” she says again….
“Noooo! Not aachoo! Where’s Aachoo?”
“And again, Gesundheit!” she says.
Finally I give up and ask, “where’s the gorgeous brunette who brought me here? She was a 5’9” beautiful tall. It took just one look and I was in a bad mess…….. oh never mind!”
“There’s no one here but me and you.”
“Well where am I and how did I get here?”
“I went looking for you after you left my dance club. We found you right where Bruce left you and brought you to my place.”
“Well what about Aach…….. oh never mind, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“Try me, Big Boy!”
I thought for a moment! “Big Boy?” There was a familiar ring to it. Matter of fact the only person who ever called me Big Boy was Aachoo. Could it be………. Naaah! I must’ve dreamt the whole thing. Of course the Voo is brunetteish and brown eyed!…………. Naah! Couldn’t be……… Or could it? She’s still a mystery…………….
(maybe continued)
well, that was an interesting twist with some disgust thrown in...lol Your bi polar fantasies are heating up, it seems. I wonder how you'll handle the truth when it comes out....poor boy😮😉😍
DeleteSo you liked it, huh!
DeleteWhat did I say that leads you to believe that? 🤣
DeleteWould you like for me to continue? It might get even more interesting……….
ReplyDeleteIf you continue, I'm afraid you might get arrested.....😮
DeleteArrest me then! 👮♀️
ReplyDeleteDude, I'm a Private Eye, not a cop!!!!!!😊🤪 I mean...She is!! Aachoo Voo!!! (which is actually me) Voo
DeleteWell, I was finally able to roll off the deevaan and crawl over to the kitchen table where the Voo and my breakfast were waitin’ on me. Slowly I heaved myself up and sat down as the Voo was givin’ me a blank stare…….. I wanted to say, “what are you starin’ at?” but that would be an unwise thing to do seein’s she was bein’ all nice and everything to me; and had just made me some breakfast too. (bless her pea-pickin’ heart!)
ReplyDeleteSo I slowly scarfed down the eggs, bacon, refried beans, pico de gallo, salsa, tortillas, and a couple of them double double chocolate chip cookies that somehow appeared on the table. (excuse me while I wipe off my mouth).
Finally she speaks up. “Well, Big Boy! Tell me about this person you call, Aachoo!”
“Gesundheit!” I said.
“No no. I didn’t sneeze! I asked about this person named Aach…….. oh never mind! I want you to tell me a little bit about the person that you asked about.”
Oh! You mean. Aachoo!”
“Gesund………! Let’s not start that again! ……… Yes! That person!”
“Ooh Yeah! Well the first time I laid eyes on her I saw her headin’ to my table like a tall walking big black cat. Then I told myself, ‘I hope that you're able boy cause I’ma tellin’you she knows where it's at.’ Then I got aholt of a bottle of your teqwila or some kind of stuff off one of the tables and got all “lickered” up! Then I noticed you and Bruce doin’ the ‘Achy Breaky Clog Dance!’ Y’all was really good!
Matter of fact, your bloomers was beginnin’ to blossom out from under your………”
“Ahem!……. You can stop right there, Big Boy! Those were my……… never mind, they had slid down almost to my ankles………. Let’s get the story straight!”
“Ok. Ok.” I didn’t want to tell her but them bloomers were inside out too!
“Well, anyway, after we pole dainced and finished watching you do the “Achy Breaky Clog Dance” with Bruce we decided to get out there and took a stroll down to Elliot’s Hardware where she took out a key that Elliot had given to her so she could hep herself to whatever she wanted, whenever she wanted…… I think Elliot was trying to make a move on her when he gave her the key. That old geezer is old enough to be her great, great, great granddaddy three times removed from the grave. He’s so wrinkled that his un-ironed clothes look better than he does. You should see the way she handles a paint brush! She can lacquer up a piece of raw wood and leave no brush strokes. And does she have form!! ………….! Uh! Where was I? Oh yeah! Then we ended up here and that’s when I woke up to find you here. Did I dream this all up? Tell me I’m dreamin’ and I just need to wake up. And when I do she’ll be standing there with a nice hot cup of hot chocolate, some double double chocolate chip cookies……. and a smile………”
I wasn’t sure if she even heard me as she looked at me with that same blank stare she gave me earlier. I was beginning to wonder if I was going nuts.
And then there was a knock on the front door……….
So the Voo went to the door and opened it…….. and who to my wandering eyes should appear…………….. to be continued
A minature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer???? Well, ho ho ho!!!!
DeleteAmigo, me thinks you should lay off the cacao!!!! You're obsessed!!! lol
ReplyDeleteBloomers, D'Sal???!!! Really??! Bloomers???!!! sigh Something MiMi Voo might wear in the 40s. All the readers know how you feel about MiMi........naughty naughty naughty.
ReplyDeleteSomething is definitely wrong with the Comments today. wow. Many have vanished.
ReplyDeleteNow what do we do?
ReplyDeleteGo to another blog page and see what happens. Maybe they've limited comments or something. All of your last comments posted over 35 times each time. Let's move on, shall we?
Delete35 times? Wow. I know I didn’t post this same reply 35 times. I may have posted a different reply that may have in conjunction with the first post posted altogether 35 times, but that’s immaterial at this point. I did go to another blog page and got the same result. I’m not sure you’ll get this one but here it goes. Yeah. I’ve already decided to move on. There’s some gone awry with this system.
DeleteNo, I know you weren't doing it. It does it sometimes on mewe.(which is now a wasteland) uh! It was a glitch but yeah, every one of your comments posted 35 times each.I was so excited cause I thought I was finally getting a lot of comments from all over the world and turns out it was just each of your comments or replies posting 35 times!!!! lol oh well ......toodles!😉
DeleteWell now! You did get this reply! So did the continued comment that I had wanted to post get posted? I’m just trying to give you something to laugh about. That’s just my silliness. When I get started I don’t know when to quit. Ok, so far so good…….. Skittles! 😎
DeleteI guess they fixed the glitch. This only posted one time
DeleteI tried it again. Nope. Didn’t work. It deleted my comment.
Deletehmmm google or this blog has turned on you, I guess. lol But it posted your last comment up there, didn't it? odd
DeleteI'd like to know how I got over 1,410 views from Singapore today!!!!! Something feels fishy.
DeleteCouldn’t tell ya! I live in east Texas…… 😄
Deletecont’d…………
ReplyDelete“Hello Big Boy! Boo!”
I had just finished downing the eggs, bacon, refried beans, pico de gallo, salsa, tortillas, and a couple of them double double chocolate chip cookies. (excuse me while I wipe my mouth off again), I wasn’t believing what I just heard! I couldn’t see the door from the kitchen so I eased myself up from the floor, (I forgot to mention that I fell out of the chair when I heard her voice). Slowly I turned. Step by step! Inch by inch!……….. wait a minute! That’s from “The Three Stooges”…… anyway, it seemed like a long walk from the kitchen to the live-in room.
“Am I dreamin’?” I said to myself. “Naw! I must be delusional.” But what I was seeing was incontrovertible. I couldn’t deny it either. It was so unquestionable and 100 percent completely true that there in the doorway stood Voo’s twin sister! ….. Boo!
I had forgotten that out there somewhere in the universe and the world was a gal who has been nearly untamable, wild and crazy in a musing sort of way, and had that certain kind of bow-legged walk that would make John Wayne wince with pain.
Finally I asked, “where have been, Boo?”
“I been down to Texas visitin’ the President of Texas. He’s quite the gentleman I’ll have you know! He even gave me a tour of his big place on horseback.”
And that also explains the bow-leggedness!
“I’ve been lookin’ for you all over, Big Boy, that I’ve gotten saddlesores. It’s been so long since we teamed up and painted the town that I figgered I’d hunt you down and we go down to Elliott’s Hardware, grab us some of that there she’lack and gloss up the night. Whadda ya say?!”
Well, I was shocked and plumb tickled at the thought of going somewhere with her and she’lack the town. “But what would Aachoo think though?” he asked himself. “If’n she knew I was out with sum body else?” It was tempting but I had given my heart to Aachoo along with the house keys, the car keys, and the last bit of teqwila in the ornament lookin’ bottle last night! Or did I dream that too? I don’t know. So I pondered, and I pondered, and I pondered until I was all out of ponder. And then I pondered some more. Am I dreamin’?”
To be continued……..
😁
Delete