COULDN'T HAVE

Couldn't Have

Perched on the edge of the sea cliff like a

Bird contemplating flight I stood stock still

And let the wind caress my face and blow

Back my hair in long black streams.

Down below and out in the distance 

The raging sea beckoned to me 

With it's little white hands of salt and foam

It was a gray day full of clouds and fog

A perfect day to leave the world on 

Does anybody care? I asked out loud

More a plea than a question, more a prayer

Than a plea. Is anybody there? I asked the sky

I waited for an answer that I never expected to come

And felt my heart drop to my stomach and my stomach

Rise up into my chest

Just then a sea gull flew by and I thought I heard it say

Don't do it.

Didn't it? No, couldn't have. Gulls don't talk

I thought of all of the loves I had lost and all

Of the loves that never had been and all of the anguish

I had passed through in ever growing depth and length

Enough was enough.

Just then a ship out on the ocean passed by and I

Thought I heard it's deep bass horn say

Don't do it.

Didn't it? No, couldn't have. Horns don't talk

Nobody will miss me, I thought. Nobody gives a thought

To me. Nobody. Better to do it now and get it over with

Just then a plane flew over my head just below the clouds

And I thought I heard it's engines say

Don't do it

Didn't it? No, couldn't have. Engines don't talk

I'm crazy, I thought, I'm insane

I'm grasping at straws and trying to find reasons

When there aren't any. Why wait? Just do it

Just then a voice behind me in the mist

 Startling and sudden, spoke out loud

In a tone I'd never heard before

And I thought I heard it say in foreign tongues

Don't do it.

Didn't it? No, couldn't have. There was no one there

Nobody cares! I screamed to the winds and the winds

Carried the sound of my cries out into the sea

Echoing off the cliffs and joining with the throng

Of strange white birds that suddenly appeared

Out of nowhere, that hovered there below me

And above the craggy rocks with broken peaks

I'm doing this! I shouted, I'm getting this over with

And nobody can stop me! Nobody on earth!

Then positioning my body like a precision

Olympic diver and letting the icy tears spill down

My determined face, I gave one last look around the

Awful world that had forsaken me and said, Goodbye

Then with courage and despair filling me like helium

I stepped off the cliff into weightless air and waiting death 

And anticipated peace............ 

And I jumped.

I don't know how long I fell

My eyes were closed and my senses resolved to feeling 

Pain unspeakable for the last time but only for a moment

I just wanted it to be over

I prepared to hit the ground with a velocity that took 

My breath and the wind of my falling dried the tears

That still clung to my eyes and twisted my hair 

Into long snake like dreadlocks wet with the mist of the ocean

Now! I thought and braced myself in anticipation. Now, it ends!

Just then, two strong but strangely tender arms broke my fall

And caught me before the moment of impact on the rocks

Swept me up into the sky like a space ship at warp speed

And I opened my eyes and saw that I was surrounded 

By the throng of strange white birds that were no birds at all

But shining beings with wings and shields and swords.

I looked at them in awe, dozens and dozens of them, hovering there

And back to the one who held me in his arms like a broken doll

I looked into his eyes and tried to fathom what I beheld there

But I could not. It might have been love. I don't know, never

Having known it but it felt like love. We told you not to do it

He said without opening his mouth. You are greatly loved whether

You know it or not. Greatly loved.

 And then like an eagle he flew

With me and all the others back to the safety of the cliff top

And set me down in a place I had not noticed before

Green with flowers growing and soft breezes touching me

Like whispers. Live! he said and bounded to the sky with his friends

Forming a V formation and flew into the West like a 

Silent white cloud and was gone before I could blink

I fell to the ground and lay there for hours and slept.

I must have slept. I must have! It must have been a dream

Towards evening time, I picked myself up and started towards

Home, feeling strangely alive and refreshed and renewed

What have I done? I asked myself in amazement. Am I dead or alive?

I did not know. I had never felt alive before

Just then a cloud of white, white birds flew over me without a sound

And for some strange reason I thought the cloud spoke to me

And rained compassion down on me and kindness

No, couldn't have, I thought, Clouds don't talk

Couldn't have. Couldn't have. Couldn't have.

Then my eyes picked up a speck that fell in my direction, falling fast

I watched as it drew near me quiet as snowflakes, white as snow

It fell into my outstretched hands like a longed for gift 

A present to a child on Christmas Day. I caught it in my hands 

And clutched it to my heart.

And I have it still......and it still speaks to me........

It speaks of love and life and I no longer want to die....

I cannot prove what I have told. I cannot convince a soul

I barely convinced myself! But there it lies in it's silver case

Under lock and key, more precious to me than gold:

The white feather that spoke

And you say, It couldn't have

But it did and it does.

©by Voo

Jan 13, 2005

 9:30 p.m.

Across the Bridge Where Angels Dwell
 by Van Morrison

I LOVE A MAN WHO CAN CRY

I Love a Man Who Can Cry

I love a man who can cry without feeling embarrassed

Who can smile at a sunset at the end of the day

Who can listen to a symphony and get a lump in his throat

Who can write down a song and then give it away 

I love a man who can see little babies

And get all mushy inside without questioning the joy
Who can hear a child's laugh and remember what fun is

Who plays with puppies and kittens like he's still just a boy

I love a man who is not ashamed to be vulnerable

Who can show me his weaknesses, his fears and his thoughts

At the same time being confident of who he really is

Who can be my strong shoulder when he knows that he ought

I love a man who can hurt and then be healed by love

Who can pray darkness gone and keep demons at bay

Who can show the whole world that he's not ashamed

Of the God that he knows that made him that way

I love a man who loves with his whole heart

Who needs his woman like a flame needs to burn

Who isn't shy about saying just how much he wants her

And what he will do to make her want him in return

I love a man that works hard and plays hard

But will take rainy days off without so much as a care

When his woman needs him to stay in that bed

And shut out the world like it's not even there

I love a man whose eyes light up when he smiles

But can darken with passion when I look deep in those eyes

Who will recite my poetry like Shakespearean sonnets

Or a song so worth singing that's his joy and his pride

I love a man who can slow dance for hours

In candlelight's glow without saying word one

Who will touch me so softly that it feels like a feather

But then hold me so hard that I cry when he's gone

I love a man with a strut in his walk

Who can make the heads turn when he walks in the room

But who doesn't look back at the heads when they turn

And saves himself for the woman who's his sun and his moon

I love a man who writes poetry for me

Who writes letters to me

Who sings songs just for me

And who shows me "the him" that no one else ever sees

I love a man who takes time and is kind

Who knows and who shows that he understands

Who will hold me when I need him, you can bet I won't leave him

For he needs all the same things that I need from my man.

©By Voo

Jan 14, 2018 

9:20 a.m.

Like A Man by Adam Cohen

(son of Leonard)

 

I Want To Dance With Somebody

by Bootstraps

Cry Like a Man

SILENCED BY TRUTH

Silenced By Truth

Oh, how they howl

These belligerent dogs

That guard the sheep

That sleep in numbness, dumbness

Catatonic trances 

Of uninformed conformity.

They say they're there

For protection of the innocent

But that's not true

We know, me and you

That they are wardens

Of an invisible prison.

Skies are hardly anymore blue

But gray smudged canvases

Filled with long white trails

Toxic paints from big white brushes

Tic tac toe boards

That nobody sees.

A thousand sightings

Of a thousand ships

Besmerched by lies

From a thousand lips

But the truth is out there

Behind the clouds of misdirection.

Hiding the real 

In front of the masses

Who choose unreality shows

Instead of the news

They play us for fools

And use us for tools.

But the lights are on

In some of our eyes

And we burn with the sharing

Of truth and escaping

From the love of the Brother

Who is not our friend.

This world is not

What it seems

Don't you know that?

Drugged into submission

Is not even living, it's not even death

We have become slaves to the enemy of God.

We are beings

Made to live free

Breathe free, run free, die free

Unshackle yourselves and run now with me

The guard dogs will howl but don't be afraid

They will run when confronted and be silenced by truth.

©by Voo

Nov 12, 07

midnight

WAITING FOR WATER

Waiting For Water

In between the raindrops

And the sun,

Every now and then,

We find the thing

Our souls cry out for,

Our bellies crave,

Our hearts need,

And our heads want.

It isn't often, mostly, rare

And hardly ever found

When we most need it,

Or crave it

Or want it

It's usually on a far-away hill

Hidden in shadow

Or smoke from the burning of dreams.

Life

Is a puzzle piece

Lying

In a box full of death

Waiting to be pieced together,

To be made sense of,

And solved

Like a mystery,

When the picture comes clear.

Love, we suppose,

Should be a right

And not a gift

Should be waiting for us

At the dawn of the day

And the fall of the night,

But very seldom is,

Very seldom,

Even shows it's face.

It runs from us

Because it's afraid

Of what we'll do to it

Once we catch it

And so it runs,

And keeps it's distance

Outside of our hearts

And our hard clenching hands.

We are bellies

Begging to be fed,

Minds,

Wanting to be filled,

Souls,

Crying to find peace

And our hearts are cages

Where no bird sings.

But every now and then,

In between the raindrops

And the sun,

Though we may not know it's name,

Or recognize it's face,

Or understand it's touch,

(For we are humans, after all

And do not know what we do not know

Till it has passed.)

We find the thing

That gives life meaning

When clarity comes

Like a cup full of hope

Drawn from the wells of our darkest despair

And all of us, from the least to the greatest,

Before dying is over and all dreams gone to dust,

We will come to that well

And stand peering deep down

Sometimes, a mirage, and sometimes, for real

Waiting for water

In the desert of love.

©by Voo

Aug 15, 09

9:49 p.m.

WHERE COULD I GO?

Where Could I Go?

Without you in my dream-filled arms

Down where the hopeful meet

I'd never know what love looks like

Or how it tastes so sweet.

Without you running down that road

In misty morning air

I'd never see the sun light rise

Like halos in your hair.

I'd never hear the song bird's song

And the joy that shines in eyes

I'd never know the ring of truth

That separates the lies.

I could not know the touch of bliss

That visits at that gate

Could only long for a tender kiss

To come and change my fate.

But there you are, and there you stand

With arms out-stretched to me

And there I run in breathless haste

To where you'll always be.

In dreams, as perfect as a rose

In sleep, where dreams come true

In midnight lands where dreamers flee,

I flee, and search for you.

For in this world, you do not dwell

On east or western shore

Your spirit passed this way but once

And caught my eyes no more.

Yet every night I hear your call

Your voice so low and deep

You say my name and I awake

There in the realm of sleep.

And hand in hand, we run and run

From daybreak's heartless sorrow

To find the night that has no end

That always comes tomorrow.

Where could I go but to my dreams?

No love waits at the dawn

My life's a lonely, loveless thing

Since you've grown wings and flown.

Where could I go? Where could I find

The love I miss so much

There in the green fields of the heart

Mere deserts, without your touch?

Perhaps one day I will come to you

Though I don't know if that will be

Till then, I'll run through these days to night

When you can come to me.

©By Voo

June 13, 09

11:21 p.m.