SITTING IN SILENCE TOGETHER

Sitting in Silence Together

Sitting in silence together

We shared our aching hearts

She with her unanswered questions

And me, knowing not how to start.

I wanted to comfort and love her

And she needed comfort and love

But I knew that what she was needing

Could only be sent from above.

I prayed to be His willing vessel

His hands and His feet on this Earth

But how do you speak to the grieving

Who'd lost what she'd found at that birth?

I searched for correct words to give her

I fumbled for just the right touch

I just needed to make her feel better

But my human words didn't help much.

And then I heard the Lord say to me:

Just be and I will do

Just let her know she's not alone

And I will work through you.

And so I sat there, silent

And let HIm speak through me

Let Him touch her like I could not

And see what she only could see.

Sometimes it's best to do nothing

Sometimes it's good to be quiet

Sometimes just to be present is loving

And shines like the sun in the night.

And so we sat in the silence

Grieving and asking our whys

And though I had no counsel to give her

She thanked me with love in her eyes.

©by Voo

  10:25 p.m.

Oct 8, 2013

Leslie, R.I.P. darling

You're with your daddy now

and whole

Dance With My Father
by Luther Vandross

NEVER SAY

Never Say

Never say that word again

The word I hate to hear

When you get bent all out of shape

And give in to your fear.

You know I’m here or you should know

By now through all of this

That I would take you in my arms

And soothe you with a kiss.

And even if I cannot be

With you when you need me

I’m still there in this heart of mine

I’d think by now you’d see.

That I would give the world to you

If only it were mine

And I would make you king of it

Beside me for all time.

This world is such a lonely place

And we all need each other

And I don’t mean to overwhelm

And I don’t mean to smother.

It’s just that in my heart of hearts

I feel too much to bear

And I know you feel too much, too

But you don’t want to share.

And how that scares me, how it hurts

To be shut out from you

When all your pain calls out my name

And I can’t comfort you.

I may not be a queen to you

And far from your ideal

But I am true and I love you

And all I am is real.

Can you not feel this hand of mine

Reaching in the dark?

That fire that blazed up long ago

Is down to just a spark.

The light has gone out of the world

Cause I can’t feel your love

And you won’t speak so I must seek

The face of God above.

On your behalf, more so on mine

Because I grieve for you

Pushing me out of your life

In all you say and do.

You said to just leave you alone

You said to go away

And all the sunshine left my skies

And became a cloudy day.

And you walked off and left me there

With nothing in my hand

And shouted as you walked away

Go find yourself a man!

Like you were not the man I love

Like you were not a man

Like you saw yourself as just a grain

In a universe of sand.

And you would never be much more

No matter what you did

No matter how tall you could grow

You’d be a little kid.

I wanted so to run after you

And show you, you were wrong

To ask you how I could sing again

When you're my only song.

But I just waited till you returned

And slipped back in the door

Knowing things were not the same

The way they were before.

You do not talk but you say so much

In your silence there’s a din

Of alibis from a heart that cries

The word I can’t hear again.

I cannot stand the word Goodbye

It tears my soul in two

You twist it in me like a knife

And make me bleed with you.

And though I bleed, I do not leave

Or run from you for cover

Because I know deep in my soul

That we could heal each other.

©by Voo

A Tender Lie by Restless Heart

DELUGE

Deluge

It's raining here

In my heart and outside the window

Cold rain, hard rain

Slicing down the panes

And through my heart 

Like the dagger that love

Often turns out to be.

But I hardly care how much I hurt

I only care how much I miss

Your kiss, your touch

And the way your mouth turns up

In an expression that could either be

A frown or a smile.

If the sky cries then it cries with me

For it doesn't like to cry alone either

I close my eyes and pretend

That there's an angel

Standing outside in the rain

Catching everything in a bottle

And shaking his head at the fragility of man.

(Why do I play the blues when it's raining?

Isn't that like a misery overload?

Why do we compound our heartbreak

And multiply it times a thousand

When it's already too much to bear?)

Angels can only witness

They cannot participate

They cannot feel the pain and stupidity of the human

For God has blessed them with that inability

And cursed us with feeling too much.

Listen. Hear that? The thunder?

The sky is screaming and so am I

Building up in intensity, it roars

Like a marching band beating drums

Made of human hearts.

Then silence

Then lightning

God's way of revealing

Who He is and who we are not

We are terrified of it, yet fascinated

How often have I stood in it's terror

And dared it to strike me.

But only after I had fallen in love

The greatest form of terror there is

The thing that has both heaven and hell

In it's hands

And continually rolls the dice to determine

Which one you get at any given time.

I love the rain

I love the lightning and the thunder

But most of all

I love you

And everything that you can give me

And take away.

But tonight.....tonight....

My heart is flooded

With rain and pain and longing

More so than usual, more so than ever

Because tonight

I saw you walking outside my window,

Your arm around another girl.

With your lover's smile lighting up her world

The rain hit your face

And your eye caught my eye

Beyond the lace curtain

And the heavens opened up 

With the rage of a deluge

That could not even compare
 To what poured from my eyes.

©by Voo

Jan 21, 2018

5:43 a.m.

Raining In My Heart by Al Green

CRAVING

Craving

Craving love or something close to it

We ran laughing to the forest

Away from chiding eyes

Blending ourselves into tall grasses

Underneath friendly trees

We fell hard as stone into an embrace

Nothing mattered once we were entwined

Nothing could pull us apart or make us afraid

Not even angry elders

The grass feels cold and damp

But we revel in it's touch

On our fevered fingers

We throw off our buckskins

And cover one another

With the blankets of our love

How beautiful you are, I think

How young and strong and bronzed

Like the deer that scampers past us

You put a flower behind my ear

And caress my face with a gentle hand

Your eyes beckoning me to fall inside

I am so hungry but not for food

I am so thirsty but not for water

I am almost mad with the wildness

I always knew you were mine

Even as a little girl, I knew

No other warrior could ever turn my head

I followed you like your shadow

And we took chances

That only fools would ponder

Your father would look at me

And then at you and shake his head

Then smile behind his hand, chuckling

My father would only shake his head

And sigh and let out angry groans

While my mother scolded me and kept the peace

So many times we almost went too far

But we held back and prayed for strength

And went there in our hearts

Then came the day we wedded

And we were joined with many blessings

And sighs of sweet relief

We were like young wolves chasing prey then

We had caught one another at last

And didn't know what we should do in the catching

But soon we knew exactly what to do

In the absence of prying eyes and teasing smiles

We knew. We knew.

And when the craving came looking

We did not hide from it nor deny it's pull

We let it take us to the forest

And we wild'd away the thunder

And the lightning of each storm

And lay besotted in arms that belonged to only us

You smile at me and raise an eyebrow

And I smile back and pull you again, near

Near this heaven that your love has made here

Craving you in the whisper of the wind

The mystery of the full moon

The sweetness of a summer rain

We love until we are emptied of hunger

And filled up again with rapture

We lie down in desperation and rise up in joy

But always craving.............

                   ...............always craving

And that is good.

©by Voo
Jan 18, 2018
5:02 a.m.

Raptor by John Trudell

COULDN'T HAVE

Couldn't Have

Perched on the edge of the sea cliff like a

Bird contemplating flight I stood stock still

And let the wind caress my face and blow

Back my hair in long black streams.

Down below and out in the distance 

The raging sea beckoned to me 

With it's little white hands of salt and foam

It was a gray day full of clouds and fog

A perfect day to leave the world on 

Does anybody care? I asked out loud

More a plea than a question, more a prayer

Than a plea. Is anybody there? I asked the sky

I waited for an answer that I never expected to come

And felt my heart drop to my stomach and my stomach

Rise up into my chest

Just then a sea gull flew by and I thought I heard it say

Don't do it.

Didn't it? No, couldn't have. Gulls don't talk

I thought of all of the loves I had lost and all

Of the loves that never had been and all of the anguish

I had passed through in ever growing depth and length

Enough was enough.

Just then a ship out on the ocean passed by and I

Thought I heard it's deep bass horn say

Don't do it.

Didn't it? No, couldn't have. Horns don't talk

Nobody will miss me, I thought. Nobody gives a thought

To me. Nobody. Better to do it now and get it over with

Just then a plane flew over my head just below the clouds

And I thought I heard it's engines say

Don't do it

Didn't it? No, couldn't have. Engines don't talk

I'm crazy, I thought, I'm insane

I'm grasping at straws and trying to find reasons

When there aren't any. Why wait? Just do it

Just then a voice behind me in the mist

 Startling and sudden, spoke out loud

In a tone I'd never heard before

And I thought I heard it say in foreign tongues

Don't do it.

Didn't it? No, couldn't have. There was no one there

Nobody cares! I screamed to the winds and the winds

Carried the sound of my cries out into the sea

Echoing off the cliffs and joining with the throng

Of strange white birds that suddenly appeared

Out of nowhere, that hovered there below me

And above the craggy rocks with broken peaks

I'm doing this! I shouted, I'm getting this over with

And nobody can stop me! Nobody on earth!

Then positioning my body like a precision

Olympic diver and letting the icy tears spill down

My determined face, I gave one last look around the

Awful world that had forsaken me and said, Goodbye

Then with courage and despair filling me like helium

I stepped off the cliff into weightless air and waiting death 

And anticipated peace............ 

And I jumped.

I don't know how long I fell

My eyes were closed and my senses resolved to feeling 

Pain unspeakable for the last time but only for a moment

I just wanted it to be over

I prepared to hit the ground with a velocity that took 

My breath and the wind of my falling dried the tears

That still clung to my eyes and twisted my hair 

Into long snake like dreadlocks wet with the mist of the ocean

Now! I thought and braced myself in anticipation. Now, it ends!

Just then, two strong but strangely tender arms broke my fall

And caught me before the moment of impact on the rocks

Swept me up into the sky like a space ship at warp speed

And I opened my eyes and saw that I was surrounded 

By the throng of strange white birds that were no birds at all

But shining beings with wings and shields and swords.

I looked at them in awe, dozens and dozens of them, hovering there

And back to the one who held me in his arms like a broken doll

I looked into his eyes and tried to fathom what I beheld there

But I could not. It might have been love. I don't know, never

Having known it but it felt like love. We told you not to do it

He said without opening his mouth. You are greatly loved whether

You know it or not. Greatly loved.

 And then like an eagle he flew

With me and all the others back to the safety of the cliff top

And set me down in a place I had not noticed before

Green with flowers growing and soft breezes touching me

Like whispers. Live! he said and bounded to the sky with his friends

Forming a V formation and flew into the West like a 

Silent white cloud and was gone before I could blink

I fell to the ground and lay there for hours and slept.

I must have slept. I must have! It must have been a dream

Towards evening time, I picked myself up and started towards

Home, feeling strangely alive and refreshed and renewed

What have I done? I asked myself in amazement. Am I dead or alive?

I did not know. I had never felt alive before

Just then a cloud of white, white birds flew over me without a sound

And for some strange reason I thought the cloud spoke to me

And rained compassion down on me and kindness

No, couldn't have, I thought, Clouds don't talk

Couldn't have. Couldn't have. Couldn't have.

Then my eyes picked up a speck that fell in my direction, falling fast

I watched as it drew near me quiet as snowflakes, white as snow

It fell into my outstretched hands like a longed for gift 

A present to a child on Christmas Day. I caught it in my hands 

And clutched it to my heart.

And I have it still......and it still speaks to me........

It speaks of love and life and I no longer want to die....

I cannot prove what I have told. I cannot convince a soul

I barely convinced myself! But there it lies in it's silver case

Under lock and key, more precious to me than gold:

The white feather that spoke

And you say, It couldn't have

But it did and it does.

©by Voo

Jan 13, 2005

 9:30 p.m.

Across the Bridge Where Angels Dwell
 by Van Morrison