VALENTINE EVE dedicated to all those single people out there gritting their teeth

        Valentine Eve

    The day of love, it looms on the horizon now

    Teasing me with it's rose and balloon 

    And teddy bear

    The memories of those sweet, sweet days

    And magical nights of wine and candle

    Long slow dances and kisses

    That promised love unending

    But ended all the same

    Forever and a day, you said

    And I agreed and wrote it down

    In my book of remembrance

    And saved it with the cards and hearts

    And pressed flowers that I would

    Not have sold for gold

    Valentine's Day, unfunny, unsweet

    Unlovely, unlooked forward to

    Looming on the horizon now.....

    The worst day of the year

    For those with shattered hearts.

    ©by Voo

    Feb 13, 2005

 9:28 p.m.

OF MONSTERS AND FEELINGS a collab with Nick Nguyen

Of Monsters and Feelings

Long days passed

As I rested 

My pounding head

On my cold hands

Reflecting 

A memory

Now like 

A shattered 

Glass mirror.

It started with

A heartbeat

Rising ever

So slightly

Next came pain

Like hot needles

Protruding quickly

Through my skin

And a dull pain 

In my stomach

Ruining all my nights.

With the realization came the terror

And the terror turned to worse

Worse than any word so spoken

In conversation or in verse.

I had never known such anguish

Such despair or numbing fear

I couldn't dream of an existence
Without your presence living here.

All my feelings became monsters

Feelings once I loved to feel

They made me cry out in my anguish

They did me harm and made me ill.

But love's a healer

And I still need you

As I watch the pouring rain

Come and put your hands on my heart

Come and make me feel again.

Written By Nick Nguyen

and Voo

(c) Copyright Nicholas Nguyen 2019

In Collaboration with Voo 

THE REST, AS THEY SAY, IS HISTORY an experiment in poetry

The Rest, As They Say, Is History



Throwing caution to the wind,
I walked into the night,
Down the street,
To your door,
Knocked,
Knocked again,
And gently turned the door knob
And it opened.

And there you sat
Staring blankly at the wall
Then turned and stared 
Blankly at me
You opened your mouth
To ask "How did you.....?"
But I gave you no time to ask.

Slamming the door,
I crossed the room,
Turned off the tv
Turned down the lights,
Took a sip of your wine,
Took a bite of your apple,
And threw myself into your lap
And kissed you like no man
Had ever been kissed before.

This lip, tongue congress
Continued on 
For some fifteen minutes
Or so
And then I stood up,
Dusted off your dustless lap,
Took another sip of wine
And turned the tv back on,
Flipped the light switch back up,
Hurried across the room
To the front door,
Opened it, took a deep breath,
Went outside, slammed the door,
And did not look back.

But peeking through the window,
I watched as you came to your senses,
Swallowed the leftover wine,
Poured some more,
Ran your fingers through your hair,
Stood up awkwardly and said,
"What the hell was that?!"
Then you sat clumsily back down
At your dinette table, frowning,
And contemplated your life
And whether you were possibly awake
Or dreaming and whether you ought
To call the police and report a break-in
Or if you should go back to sleep
And finish a rather remarkable dream.

Caught in the dilemma of confusion
And mild euphoria,
You turned the dregs of the wine up
And drank every drop,
Stood and threw the bottle in the sink,
Turned off the tv, turned on the stereo,
Did some sort of bump and grind dance
In the middle of the kitchen floor
To a song,
By a band that sounded 
Like a cross between Frank Zappa
And Frank Sinatra......
And stopped and shook your head
With the biggest smile possibly
Ever seen on your face 
Since you were a toddler
Tasting ice cream for the first time.

 When you crossed the room
Headed for the door, 
I knew it was time for me
To make my presence vanish
And I turned and ran down 21st Street
Just as hard and fast as I could
Possibly run in high heels
On a cracked asphalt street
At midnight in the rain
On a Wednesday night in February.

But I wasn't fast enough
For you caught me 
By the arm, 
Twirled me around, 
My hair flying, earrings flying,
Heart beating like my brother's
Little tin drum
And just about ready to burst
Either into song or screams of fear, 
I wasn't sure which.

I had had it all worked out
Before hand
But I hadn't counted 
On you coming after me
I hadn't counted on that
Because you were 
The shyest damned man
I had ever met
And you never looked at me,
Smiled at me, noticed me,
Or gave any evidence
That you knew I existed.

Which was why
I had formulated this god-awful plan
With no hope of reciprocation
On your part
And no intention whatsoever
Of explaining myself or
Redeeming improbable intentions
On my part or anybody else's part,
Either in part or to the fullest extent
Of the law, give or take a crime.....
For I hadn't thought much further
Than taking you unawares
There at your kitchen table
Drinking wine
For I already knew that
You never locked your front door
And you always had dinner
At Tom's Cafe on Wednesday nights
And you were always home by nine.

No, I was not a stalker!
(I just knew things.)

Like I knew I had loved you
For at least six months
And that I dreamed about you
Every night
And that I had made up 
My lovesick little mind
To hunt you down
Like a dog
And kiss the living daylights
Outta ya and split
And I would say now
That that was a 
Fait Accompli.......

I was pretty proud of myself
Until I felt your hand
Go around my waist
And the other one grab my hair
And you pulled me backwards
And we went tumbling down
Into Mrs Tompkins's flower bed
Right on top of her gnome
And a granite saint that I
Couldn't rightly remember the name of
At the moment
And first thing I knew, 
You were laughing like a crazy man
And kissing me back so hard
And so sweetly that I could hardly
Even believe that I had ever thought you shy.

"Don't you think a proper introduction
Would be in order about now?" you asked, 
Pulling me to my feet and off the top
Of the unfortunate saint who had rolled down
Under a fake toadstool 
And hidden his face in shame at the shocking
Machinations of a girl, half-crazed with love
And a caught-off- guard man who didn't 
Rightly know if he should be thrilled
Or terrified out of his mind
Or what his next move should be.

"I'm the girl that loves you."
I blurted out like an idiot
And reached to shake your hand
As you shook mine back, dazed and confused
And wondering if you had heard correctly
"You....you're the girl that does what to whom?"
You stuttered and removed your hand from mine
And put it in your pocket for safe-keeping
Like I was going to take it home with me
Or worse
And so we stood there in the rain
With our hair plastered down upon our heads
And our clothes fitting us like skins of plastic.

"Well, I'm...." you began and I rushed to shush you
"I know who you are."  I said excitedly
"You work in the cubicle behind mine
And you always have tuna for lunch
And you read the paper and listen to NPR
And whistle when you walk into work."
"That's....that's... correct." you said, puzzled
And cleared your throat and kicked at a rock
With your shoe
"But why should you.......?" you began
And fell silent, reaching to remove a tendril
From across my left eye.

"Why don't we go somewhere warm?"
You finally completed a sentence
And I nodded and wiped mud and dirt
Off of your chin and brushed leaves 
From your jacket and pretended that it was
A perfectly normal thing to do
That the entire scenario was a perfectly normal
Thing to do
And that I was a perfectly normal girl
Standing in Mrs. Tompkins flower bed
In the rain which was an absolutely normal thing to do
With a man I hardly knew and who didn't
Know me at all to speak of
But boy, I sure did want to kiss you again
With your wine flavored breath and your
Soft brown eyes and your smile that was just
Barely able to contain itself
Now beaming at me and becoming prominent.

I took your arm and stepped over 
The fake toadstool, the gnome, 
The nameless, humiliated saint
And smiled a tiny smile of my own,
Wanting to believe in miracles, 
Or at the very least.....good luck
And we made our way back to your house,
Back to your door, back to the kitchen table,
Back to a fresh bottle of wine
And back to what you had been doing
Before I had so rudely interrupted you
Which, as I found out later, 
After three glasses of wine, 
Fifteen shy sweet kisses
And four that were anything but....
Was the shocking revelation
That you had been sitting there
Trying to think of a way to get me
To notice that you were alive
And about getting up the nerve 
To ask me out on a proper date
And possibly, one day, hopefully, 
Having the good fortune to
Actually kiss me like a proper gentleman
But I had ruined all that, hadn't I?

So, yes, dear children, 
That is how your father and I got together,
Fell in love, got engaged, got married,
Had all you lovely babies
And this wonderful marriage
And this wonderful life 
And these wonderful stories
And lived happily ever after
The end.......

And it had all started with me
Planning and scheming 
And taking matters into my own hands
Because your father was too shy
To do anything on his own
So I fearlessly marched myself
Up to his door, into his house,
Into his kitchen, into his lap,
"Into my heart!" you interjected
"Into his heart" I repeated
Smiling broadly and proudly
And we kissed and said at
Precisely the same moment:
"And the rest, as they say.......
Is history!!"

©by Voo
Feb 12, 2019
4:14 a.m.

(a mindless write
in which I just typed
without thinking about
what I was typing
and seeing what was on the page
when I got through......)

OUR PLAYGROUND ( farewell GPlus tribute)

It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday

Our Playground

Departures are never easy

While hellos are such a breeze

Watching friends walk round the bend

Cannot be done with ease.

It doesn't take me long to fall

In love or out, it doesn't matter

I wear my heart out on my sleeve

For all to see or love or shatter.

I am a poet and so that means

That I love love and sweet romance

I live to read and cherish words

And take my turn in the poetic dance.

And I've been hurt and I've been burned

And built up walls to protect myself

But in that building, kept isolated

And drained till I had nothing left.

But every now and then in life

Friends come along to dig me out

Out of myself, out of that place

And give me freedom to run and shout.

And I give up and I give in

And give my heart to those that do

Encourage me to share my gifts

And pour out my love on those like you.

So many friends I've made here now

All over the world, and close to home

No matter what the time of day

I can click GPlus and I'm not alone.

But they've taken down our carousel

Dismantled the playground and all our swings

Burst our balloons and cleaned out our rooms

Not knowing how precious to us were these things.

Our communities of creative geniuses

Our picture books of living art

Our gifs and comic animations

All came from loving, beating hearts.

What fun we've had with one another

How many tears we've shed here, too

Reading heartache, sharing heartbreak

And helping all to make it through.

Our differences, our prejudices

That we brought here when first we came

All fell away like dried up leaves

When we learned to know each other's names.

So many nations met on these grounds

So many cultures, religions, creeds

And black and white and brown and red

We all are human with human needs.

In the name of poetry, in the name of art

Good books, good food and stars in space

We shared and cared and learned to love

And laid aside the fears we face.

And having said that, now saying this

We may get scattered and lost, it's true

But I hope we meet on those paths to elsewhere

For I've dearly loved my time with you.

You are my friends, my funny companions

My virtual hugs and hands holding a rose

To brighten my day and tell me goodnight

My gurus and teachers keeping me on my toes.

We may never meet this side of Heaven

Having never hugged or touched or kissed

But in my heart, please know, wherever you go

You were loved and cherished and you'll ever be missed.

©by Voo Voo

Feb 11, 2019

8:09 p .m.

Never Say Goodbye
Bon Jovi

https://bluevineyard.blogspot.com/

you can always find me here, hopefully

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
DEDICATED TO ALL THE MANY
WONDERFUL FUNNY PRECIOUS 
PEOPLE I HAVE MET HERE
AND COME TO KNOW AND LOVE
<<<GOD BLESS YOU ALL>>>

We  Don't Say Goodbye
Celine Dion
and 
The Bee Gees

I Will Remember You song
Will You Remember Me????

THE ROAD THAT ENDS IN THE SEA

The Road That Ends In The Sea

"Call me!" he said in a voice full of woe

On the message he left on my phone

Along with a dozen other ones I had missed

I could tell he felt so all alone.

But it had been one of those days

And my job had taken it's toll

My mind on the blink, couldn't talk, couldn't think

And he was probably just trying to be droll.

So I had listened to some of them

And the other ones, deleted

I was so tired and needed sleep

And his calling went unheeded.

I went to bed, dreams in my head

Dreams so dark and dreary

Tidal waves and things unsaved

And I woke up so weary.

Driving into work I thought

About my sweet lost friend

We'd tried to make our love work out

But it had reached it's end.

And I'd moved on, found someone else

But he couldn't do the same

He'd call me twenty times a day

To only speak my name.

"This has to stop!" I said to him

When next I saw his face

"You've got to stop this stalking me!

This is so out of place!"

"I know, I know!" he said, in tears

"I just can't help myself!

I've screwed up all of my life

And I have nothing left!"

"That isn't true," I said to him

"You've got so much to give."

"Oh, no, I don't, for without you

I just don't want to live."

I took him in my arms and sighed

And shed a tear or two

It is so sad when love goes bad

And  your love does not love you.

We went our separate ways once more

And I thought that things were good

Until I noticed him hiding himself

Doing things that he never should.

He left me a dozen roses

Upon my car's windshield

Letters and song requests on the radio

He kept trying to break my will.

Showing up and showing out

In front of all my friends

They teased me 'bout my obsessed boyfriend'

And it never seemed to end.

"What did you do to that poor guy?"

My clergyman once asked

"I've never seen anyone so much in love!"

But that die had already been cast.

I'd found a love that just felt right

And seemed so good to me

We met each other's needs and yet

Let both our hearts run free.

I'd never had that kind of love

With sweethearts in my past

Some were fickle, flighty things

And some not made to last.

But when I'd met my former love

Things took a different turn

We started out on the same page

But his heart began to burn.

And burn in ways I didn't like

That gave me no reprieve

He was obsessive and so possessive

That I felt I couldn't breathe.

Our break-up was so messy

I tried hard not to be unkind

But he refused to accept the news

And I exploded and spoke my mind.

And I said things I shouldn't have said

But things that still were true

And I saw the hurt upon his face

When he said, "I still love you."

"But I don't love you, I never did."

I said and walked away

Leaving him crying on his knees in the rain

A scene burned in my brain to this day.

I didn't mean to hurt him

I just tried to protect myself

Sometimes you give so much of you

That there is nothing left.

Months passed and I started to live again

Feeling the freedom to breathe

Finding the joy and the love to employ

While he sank and continued to grieve.

Then slowly he seemed to mend himself

And I reached out friendship's hand

We talked, we had fun, a new era'd begun

But inside, he was still the same man.

We double dated with his new girl

And the new love that I'd met

And all seemed fine but in his mind

He just would not forget.

The phone calls started up again,

The letters in my door,

The cards and flowers, hour after hour

Till I couldn't stand it anymore.

My boyfriend beat him to pulp

When he showed up one night

I tried to keep the peace but failed

And they got into a fight.

The police came and took him away

As he shouted out his pain

And the neighbors watched and shook their heads

When he screamed out my name.

Shell-shocked then, I could only pray

For God to heal his soul

What kind of life could he hope to have

If I were his only goal?

They took him to the hospital

Committed him to stay

I heard that he was making progress

And hoped he stayed that way.

Until last night when I'd heard the calls

Recorded on my phone

(And though collected and calm,

He still sought me as his balm)

And I just sighed and left him alone.

I listened to his messages again

The ones that I had saved

As I ate my lunch, without a hunch

Of what I'd hear that day.

"Meet me at the lamplight," he'd said

"On the road that ends in the sea."

And I couldn't conceive and couldn't perceive

 The message that he had left me.

As I sat in my car later in traffic

I suddenly began then to see
What he had been trying so hard to not say

And to discern his sad request to me.

I got out of traffic and flew so fast

To the only place I knew

Where there was a road that dropped off that way

And a place that he knew, too.

"Oh, no, oh, no." I cried out slow

As I made my way in the rain

"Don't let him do something that he'll regret

Trying to take away his pain."

The park was deserted when I got there

The park where that boy had met me

The park with the bridge that had been there so long

That it had fallen at last in the sea.

And they'd voted not to replace it

For it had only been used in the past

By a family that lived on an island

That'd been wrecked by a hurricane's wrath.

(So the road through the park

Had no where to go now

It was just a joke for the townsfolk to see

It was still lined with lamp lights

And they still lit up some nights

But the road ended there at the sea.)

I parked my car there on the road

As the rain came pouring down

I couldn't see a sign of him

I didn't hear a sound.

Then suddenly to my surprise

A light came on so bright

The last lamp post at the end of the road

Lit up the rain soaked night.

I walked in trepidation

Up to the old lamp post

Saw the note inside the plastic bag

Watched over by his ghost.

"I'm sorry," he wrote, "Won't you forgive?

I've been a hopeless fool

And you were always sweet and kind

You didn't mean to treat me cruel."

I held the note up to the light

As the rain washed away the ink

And then threw the note into the sea

And stood and watched it sink.

Then I saw the strangest thing

His shoes setting off the path

He had taken them off before he'd jumped

And the sight just made me laugh.

For those were his favorite shoes

I had given them to him, it's true

On his birthday, he'd said,

"If  a girl buys a man shoes,

Then that means that she really loves you."

And I dropped to the ground and I cried

For all the ways that things shouldn't be

For his love and his loss and his life

And I knew he'd finally let go of me.

©by Voo

Feb 6, 2019

2:10 p.m.

for.......you know

partially based on a true story

of my life........