ORPHAN repost

Orphan

Outside looking in, I stand

Like an orphan at a window

Gazing in at happy scenes

And families 'round the room.

Is there no one to look out at me

At my little lonely face?

Why is my smile un-welcomed

And my hand untouched and shunned?

Though years have passed and I’m now grown

I’m still outside that window

Still an orphan looking in

Still waiting to belong.

I feel like a bit player

In the movie of my life

With someone else in the starring role

While I’m standing in the background.

I’m a footnote in a dusty book

With my name upon the cover,

An unsung song, a passing thought

And a poet under ground.

Not all artists find fame at death

(Nor do I want to be known then)

If I cannot know the taste of love

While I walk upon this world.

I only want a taste of it

A little taste

A little light shining in the window

When I get to my home.

A little touch upon my back

When I am tired

A little crumb of the bread of love

In this famine that is my life.

A family,

A love to love

A face to call my friend

That’s all, that’s all, that’s all I ask.

My well has run dry and my soul is in drought

I have given much out and received little back

I am dry, I am dry, Lord, I am so dry

Like the Sahara in the summer.

I have suffered for my art

And now my art has become my fortress

I am a book that no one reads

And nobody understands.

The wallflower standing at the back of the room

While the dancers feel the music

Invisible and un-noticed

Like the paisley on the walls.

The third wheel, an unwanted guest,

The object to maneuver around

With no one bothering to wonder and see

If the object should have a soul.

I have no birthdays to celebrate now

For all the people that knew I was born

Are gone

I’m just a number now and a unpaid bill to pay.

I was born an orphan

A foreign thing in a family full of strangers

Be  quiet! Hush! Get out of the way!

Why can’t you be like the others?

Did you not see

How badly I wanted to be like the others?

Mother, could you never hear

How desperate I was to be heard?

I have been quiet all my life

While crying and shouting and screaming inside

Like a butterfly too weak

To break out of it’s cocoon.

I am so tired of being invisible

So tired

So tired of waiting for the tide to turn

And the miracle that waits ’round the corner.

I was born in the wrong era, I guess

Two hundred years ago, I wouldn’t know

That the phone only rings

Because it’s a wrong number.

Two hundred years ago,

I wouldn’t wait and wonder

Why there wasn’t a letter

In the mail box for me.

I wouldn’t know

But now in ways, I can no longer count

My rejection, my un-needed-ness

Surrounds me like a fun house mirror.

I know I am written on the palm of my God

And someday I will know the love I do not know now

And someday I will be among the millions

And still be loved as if an only child.

But that is then and this is now

And now I want, I crave, I yearn, I burn, I need

A taste of that, that I can only just imagine

A little drop of rain on the desert of my heart.

A little taste

For this little orphan

Standing at the window watching

For someone to notice me.

©By Voo

April 14, 2011

11:14 p.m.

Invisible

My favorite song....A Place Called Love

by Johnny Reid