SO I MARRIED A PIRATE
AND A PARROT
I MARRIED ME A PIRATE
A BIG AND BRISTLY MAN
HE SAILS THE SEVEN SEAS ALL YEAR
AND COMES HOME WHEN HE CAN.
HE LIKES THE SALTY SEAS, YOU SEE
HE LIKES THE OCEAN'S ROAR
BUT ME, I LIKE IT FINE, SO FINE
WHEN HE WALKS OUT THE DOOR.
OUR OLDEST CHILD IS TWENTY-SEVEN
THE YOUNGEST BABE IS TWO
AND ALL OF THEM HAVE DARK BROWN EYES
AND THE PIRATE'S EYES ARE BLUE.
I'VE ONLY SEEN HIM SEVEN TIMES
IN THE DECADES I'VE BEEN HIS WIFE
HE'S ALWAYS OFF ON PILLAGES
(HE LEADS A STRESSFUL LIFE.)
THE WORK IS HARD, THE PAY IS LOW
AND AT LAST WHEN HE SAILS IN
HE DOES NOT ASK WHAT I'VE BEEN UP TO
AND I DON'T ASK WHERE HE'S BEEN.
THE MAN, HE ONLY HAS ONE EYE
AND FOR A HAND, A HOOK
HE LOST A LEG AND FOUND A PARROT
THAT HELPS HIM LIMP AND LOOK.
THE PARROT GOES TO BED WITH HIM
AND ON HIS SHOULDER SITS
AND IF I ASK HIM TO REMOVE THE BIRD
HE THROWS SOME AWFUL FITS.
BUT HE BRINGS ME LITTLE TRINKETS
FROM ALL HIS ROBBERIES
ONE TIME HE BROUGHT ME SOLID GOLD
ONE TIME HE BROUGHT ME FLEAS.
HE'S NOT SO MUCH TO LOOK AT
HE'S STAINED LIKE CHIMNEY SOOT
BUT FOR THE FRONT DOOR, I HAD A MAT MADE
THAT SAYS, PLEASE WIPE YOUR FOOT.
HE SEEMED TO BE REAL PLEASED WITH THAT
AND BEAMED BRIGHTLY LIKE A STAR
BUT I WAS GLAD TO SEE HIM GO
AND I HOPE THAT HE'LL GO FAR.
MY CHILDREN ALL ARE HAPPY TO MEET HIM
WHEN THE PIRATE SAILS TO SHORE
HE NEVER NOTICES WHEN HE COMES HOME
THAT THERE ARE SEVEN MORE.
HE SAYS HE'S GOING TO SOON RETIRE
CAUSE HIS CREW GIVES HIM THE BLUES
HE SAYS HIS DREAM IS TO SAVE ENOUGH
TO TAKE ME ON A CRUISE.
BUT I'LL STAY ON THE SAND, THANK YOU
THOUGH HE TELLS ME I AM NUTS
AND I WAVE GOODBYE TO HIM AND HIS PARROT
(LORD, I HATE THAT PARROT'S GUTS.)
BRING ME SOMETHING PRETTY, I YELL
JUST LIKE I ALWAYS DO
SOME GOLD OR SILVER OR MAYBE SOME PEARLS
AND I'LL MAKE A NEW CHILD FOR YOU.
©BY VOO SOMETIME IN THE RECENT PAST
