STILL NO RAIN

Still No Rain


"Still no rain." she said
Looking out the back door
At brown barren fields
And acres full of bitter dust.

The crops lay like skeletons
Of their former selves
Brittle, petrified, inedible straws
Dead of exhaustion in their sad quest for growth.

It was a long hot summer
Hotter than most........
Longer than most......
That summer from hell.

We didn't know then
What we shouldn't know now
We were young and innocent
And too full of youth.

Life is more noticeable on a farm
It winds itself around you like kudzu on a hillside
Winds and chokes you half too death
Before you even see it's hand.

My mama, Anne, worked while Daddy slept
His angry fingers 'round a glass of tea
There in the shade of a shadeless tree
And all us children digging rows for the corn.

The sun was not our friend
It hated us and tried to kill us
It took away our swimming hole
It took away our wishing well.

And the skies refused to rain
And the soul felt only pain
Days on end and nights so thin
That they only seemed like shadows.

And he left us there in search of greener pastures
Packing up his Chevrolet with every dime he had
He couldn't meet my mama's eyes but I stared a hole clean through  him
And Mama said, "Don't hate him, girl, cause he is still your dad."

And still the rains didn't come
Though we prayed with all of our hearts
Living on polk, watercresses and hope
While the days buzzed around us like bees.

My baby brother passed away
And there were only six
Five of us and one of her
And we soon learned she was sick.

She hid it very well
Until the day she fell
In the hot noon sun with a handful of seeds
That she'd bought with her last dollar.

I was a little girl, I didn't know
But I soon learned real fast
That little girls to women grow
When their futures turn to pasts.

And I raised them up and I did my job
And the summer turned to summer
With no fall or spring or anything
To mark the change of seasons.

One by one, the children went off
To find their way without me
And left me on that dead dirt farm
Where no seedless thing can grow.

I loved someone and he loved me
For the space of a dream and an eclipse of the sun
He planted things in me that he never would harvest
Then he ran down the road with the moon at his back.

One day my daddy showed up on the porch
Old and gray and full of mean
Pointing to a patch of earth,
He asked me how I kept it green.

"That's where Mama sleeps." I said to him
"And every morning, I find things to eat.
Potatoes and squash and beans and there's roses
Blooming at her head and Queen Anne's Lace at her feet."

He didn't say another word
Just turned and left without looking back
I picked up a rock to throw at his head
But was still standing there frozen when he faded from sight.

"Mama?" she said in her little girl voice
And I turned to the door at the sound of her smile
"It's alright, just a stranger out looking for water
But there's still no rain except on your grandmama's grave."


©By Voo
September 29, 2012
7:21 p.m.

AND WE HAD SECRETS

And We Had Secrets

(And we had secrets

Like diamonds wrapped in newspapers

Carried under eager arms,

As we ran through our lives,

Hampered not by sun or storm,

To shadows full of bliss.

For it was there

In shadows, gray

That nothing cruel could find us,

Nothing cold could touch our souls

Nor quench the hungry kiss.)

There, in shadow,

The dark unseen,

No illumination shown

Our hands, our eyes

Would find the prize

Our hearts had never known.

Concrete jungles,

Asphalt gardens,

And no bed in which to sleep,

You stole the stars

Out of the sky

And gave to me to keep.

Love letters written,

In graffiti sprayed

On cars and bars and walls,

Two runaways

With no where to stay,

Answering no other calls.

Two wild hearts beating

Like crippled birds

That don't know that they're lame

We soared and flew,

Just me and you,

So different, yet the same.

We vowed to stay forever

On the streets where we ran free

Hiding from schools and rules and homes

Where we did not want to be.

Homes, where your father

And my father and us

Lived in our lies

Full of hate and mistrust.

But you grew weary

And I grew up

And made my way back home

I left the anarchy of my youth,

And you, I left alone.

Rebellion has an emptiness

And it's voids that you can't fill

But the future calls us from the past

Where the memories live on, still.

I sit behind a law firm's desk

With employees all around me

And I look up and see your face

For once again, you've found me.

A business man

In Armani suit,

With a woman and a child

There in your wallet,

And in your past,

And my heart goes running wild.

My eyes can't seem 

To look away

And yours can't seem to meet

For if they do, I know it's true

They'll sweep me off my feet.

"So nice to see you."

I hear you say

"Just wanted to say hello,

I've just made partner

And I've got the office

Across from yours, you know."

I turn and look out

Of the glass

Rain splashed, bereft of sun,

I don't know what to do or say

And I don't know where to run.

For running's all 

I've ever done,

For many lonely years

Away from you, away from me

Rebelling back the tears.

They say that you cannot go home

No matter how many tries,

But the only home I've ever known

Lies hiding in your eyes.

And I know that

And you know that

As I turn and try to smile

"So kind of you to think of me,

Won't you visit for a while?"

But you shake your head

And back away

And make a quick retreat

"I've got to move all my things in."

A mistake then:  Our eyes meet.

Slow motion waves

Of memory,

Of days and nights in love,

Running hand in hand

With naught

But Heaven up above.

We drown in loss

And deep regret

In pain and passion's lure

We sink in sickness, knowing, both,

That passion is the cure.

And people stare,

Until we blink

And pull our eyes away

As decades pass before our eyes

Like they only were a day.

No one could know the history,

No one could guess the truth,

That the two of us had ever been

Punkrockgothic, reckless youth.

Now days have flown

Since you've moved in

And caused my life such bother

You're moving up and doing well

Working for my father.

It's funny how our lives turn out

It's strange how things can change

How in one moment all our plans

Come undone and rearranged.

We are so careful with one another

When we meet, we do not touch

We look away and try not to say

What our hearts still say so much.

Today, I came back 

In from lunch

To find my desk, askew

A  graffiti note lay in the mess

Spray painted, neon blue.

And only I

And only you

Could know what that note meant

And only I could know the one

From whom that note was sent.

(And we have secrets

Like diamonds wrapped in newspapers

Carried under eager arms,

As we run through our lives,

Hampered not by sun or storm,

To shadows full of bliss.

For it is there

In shadows, gray

That nothing cruel can find us,

Nothing cold can touch our souls

Nor quench the hungry kiss.)

And we have secrets

And they have us

And at the end of every day,

From my father's eyes,

And to our surprise,

We still run away.

©by Voo

Jan 22, 2012

1:42 a.m.

Run Away...Jefferson Starship

Finding My Wings

Finding My Wings

The night reaches it's darkened fingers

Out to touch my face

And in a flash of lightning I see

The great expanse of nothingness there

Beckoning me to join it

But I will not.

I am a rose petal caught in a breeze

Softly swirling down to a sun baked earth

That gives no nurture, no sustenance

And still I cling to life without my roots

But I cling in hope.

I am a poet without a poem

A singer without a song

A lover without a love

And what is that in the scheme of things?

A beautiful bird that's lost it's wings?

I will fly on in my heart without them

For I will never forget how the current feels

How the clouds taste, how the sky curves

How high I flew when love lifted me.

The night will not take me down

I will fight it with the memory of day

Full moon madness will I ignore

Face thunderstorms with my fists raised high.

I was born for gossamer and grace

Fragrance of flowers and laughing in the sun

A man's arms around me, twirling me in the dance

Not this emptiness that follows me like a shadow.

I will have none of it!

I will regain what has been stolen

I will walk in beauty with my soul intact

With unfelt smiles decorating my face

I will reach my hand out to tomorrow

Where love lies hiding

And I shall fly again.

©by Voo

August 18, 07