SABOTEUR

             















                Saboteur

                Love is like a Trojan Horse

                It snuck silently into my life

                Under false pretenses

                On the one night I was not on guard.

                You know I speak the truth

                Deny it not     

                Those deep deep eyes

                Couldn't hide the truth if truth was just a lie.

                You think because you wear soft shoes

                That you can dance on me

                But you do an impressive pirouette,

                Don't you?

                Mockingbirds take lessons

                For you excel at mocking

                Filling the air with illusions of songs

                That are only noises.

                If I could legally exterminate

                The memory of you, would I do it?

                I lie in bed and think about that, hours on end

                Dream of revenge, even as I grovel in wanting.

                There is none so blind

                As he who will not see

                But I have looked and I have seen

                And I have looked away.

                And now I see with eyes wide open

                All the ravages you brought with you

                All the dents and damages

                You left in your wake.

                I barely recognize myself today

                In the shattered mirrors of your eyes

                So slyly does your mouth smile

                And so coldly do your fingers touch my skin.

                Yes! This is a poem for you!

                Yes! This is a song about you!

                Yes, yes, yes! This page is filled with love and hate

                The two-edged sword you cut me with.

                And all the things you make me feel

                And all the deaths you make me die,

                All the joys you crushed beneath your shoes

                In the days that followed my surrender.

                There was so much promise there

                In the beginning.............

                So much sweetness springing forth from me

                Like a fountain flowing from a rock.

                I thought you came from God

                I thought you held the stars within your hands

                And all the songs that had ever been written

                Had been composed by you.

                Saboteur! Traitor! Deceiver!

                Lover!

                How I long to take back every yesterday

                And replace them with tomorrow!

                You are a cold wind that ever blows

                And no candle I can light will keep it's glow for long

                You will not allow it.................

                You will not give me the warmth I need to survive.

                Saboteur!

                Turning hope to dust and peace to war

                Making unholy, that which was sacred in my eyes

                As my brokenness falls upon your battlefield.

                If I did not love you, it would not matter

                If I did not hate you, I could not bear this pain

                You were the traitor and I, the betrayed

                And yet it is I, who stands before the firing squad at                        dawn.

               

                But no more will I wear the hood and mask

                No more will I twist myself away from what is coming

                From this moment forward, when you fire that gun,

                I want you to kill me as you look in my eyes.

                You have made me into something I never was

                And the only way to change me is to kill me

                I will not beg of you but I will not run

                My hate, a shield too heavy to hold................

                Still wants to die in your arms

                Love.

                © by Voo

                Aug 2, 2011

                1:37 a.m.

I DREAMED OF APPLES

  I Dreamed of Apples

I dreamed of apples

On a tree of thorns

Saw dying things

Yet to be born

Black winding ribbons

That held me fast

And locked me in

The siren's grasp.

It was a nightmare

I know that now

But I kept dreaming

It anyhow

I couldn't stop

I couldn't flee

For her desire

Was taunting me.

Her strange black eyes

They saw my soul

They turned to liquid

My heart of gold

Her slender fingers

Reached out to me

And showed me pleasures

I could not see.

I felt the danger

But sought the harm

As she enfolded 

Me in her arms

Her pale face shone

There in the light

That turned to dusk

And then to night.

And though she held me

And kissed my lips

I felt my feet

Begin to slip

And I looked down

And the shore was gone

My feet were flailing

On a sea of bones.

The horror of it

I could not bear

I reached to grab

Her raven hair

She laughed and caught

Me as I fell

As Heaven fled   

Replaced by Hell.

Her long black hair

To snakes, it turned

She touched my skin

Oh, how it burned

Her lover's eyes

Had pulled me in

Now an abyss

Of shame and sin.

"You want my apples?"

She smiled to lure

"Sad little man

So weak and pure

Then take a bite!"

And to my mouth

She crushed the apple

And killed my doubt.

The fruit was poison

But tasted sweet

Juice red as blood

Full of deceit

My belly burning

Soul ripped in two

No longer knowing

The lie from true.

And from my mouth

She kissed the juice

And from my heart

She ripped the truth

In love, I fell

There in her glance

Twirled in her arms

Died in her dance.

All night we sang

Enchanted songs

And night went running

In fear of dawn

And oh, I loved her

As I'd never loved

Unfathomed passion

Till  the morn rose up.

As the sun pulled back

The shades of night

My eyes flew open

To adore her sight

But there before me

Horror untold

A creature lay

Reptilian, old.

I threw back my head

And began to scream

Praying, "God, please wake

Me from this dream!"

But the creature grasped

Me to it's breast

And plunged a blade

Into my chest.

"You little man."

She hissed at me

And hung me on

The briar tree

"What good are you?"

She said in scorn

And changed back to

Her lovely form.

And flew away

And left me hang

With the poison apples

As her laughter rang

Then I awakened

To my great relief

Prayed for forgiveness

And my unbelief.

I lay and cried

Till my tears ran out

Pondered the dream

What it was about

Then I smiled as joy

Swept me like a flood

Till I saw I lay

In a bed of blood.

  ©by Voo

  image ©by InertiaK

  (up top)

  BOUND BY TEMPTATION

June 29, 10

7:13 p.m.

I Get Weak by Amos Lee

This poem won an award once as Best Horror Poem

UNOPENED BOXES

unopened boxes

i sent to you a lovely gift

i tried to give your soul a lift

i tried to make your sad face smile

though you were far away in miles.

i talked with you for hours on end

'bout where i'm going and where i've been

i shared my heart, my soul, my dreams

but it was all for naught it seems.

i tried to make you laugh with me

i tried to make your blind eyes see

i tried to touch your wounded soul

but for my warmth you returned cold.

i cannot make dark go away

i cannot turn the night to day

i cannot sing and make you glad

for you exult in being sad.

i wanted so to make you see

that God has love for you and me

that in His plan He has a part

if you will give Him all your heart.

i laughed with you and cried with you

i told you things i knew were true

i gave you real friendship and caring and grace

but the door that was opened was slammed in my face.

so i will go and leave you there

where i first met you in your despair

my gifts were unopened, my presents untouched

my words were rejected and that hurts so much.

i will not knock on a double locked door

i will not call your name anymore

i gave you my sweetness though you did not see

and my greatest of gifts, which was.......me. which was me.

©by Voo 

Jan 31, 2004 

ll:45 p.m

for Stuart

LAST NIGHT THE WIND WHISPERED

Last Night The Wind Whispered




Last night
The wind whispered
And the rain sang


And I felt touched
By unseen hands
In the shadows


Your hands
Your silent hungry hands


Last night
The trees danced
And the clouds wept


And I felt humbled
By your heart
And it's longing


Your heart
Your beautiful far away heart


Last night
An owl cried
Outside my window


And a pain
I cannot bear
Pierced through my soul


And I knew
And I knew that your light had gone dark.




©by Voo
Oct 16, 08
12:30 a.m.

NIGHTS OF NOIR

       


Nights of Noir


It was a dark and stormy night
You know the kind------------
I turned down the brim of my hat,
Turned up the collar of the trench,
And stepped out into the rain.

Somewhere out there in that rain,
There was a dame with blonde hair,
Long legs and sexy shoes,
Holding a martini............
And I meant to find her.

Being a Private Eye
Sometimes meant long, lonely nights,
Sometimes meant getting your teeth knocked out,
Sometimes meant hours of boredom in dead cars
And sometimes meant getting lucky.

I was going to make my own luck tonight
Joe's Bongo Banana Bar called my name
Well, not really, but you know what I mean
The gaudy neon sign had blinked into my office
And reminded me that I needed a drink.

It had been a quiet day
A day filled with dust bunnies
 Floating on bright streams of sunshine
And filing cabinets that needed files
And ringless telephones.

Finally at three, a call awoke me
I was dozing on my office's cheap divanette
Dreaming of blondes and Mom's apple turnovers
The women were bad and cold 

And the turnovers were good and hot.

"I need your help." a sultry voice said
And I rubbed my eyes, yawning
"How may I help you?" though I really didn't want to
"I need you to follow my husband." she whispered
(Oh, goody,  the standard old cheating husband routine!)

It was not my favorite thing to do
But it paid the bills----------
"Okay, I'll get right on it." I promised
And grabbed a pad and pencil
And took down her particulars.

Then it all took an interesting turn
"I want you to follow him and then call me," she said
"And let me know where he's at
Because I'm going out with Big Arnold tonight
And I don't want to run into him."

Geez Louise!!!!!!
What a lovely situation!
What did she think I was!?
Oh, yeah----------
I forgot. I was a follower of people. For money.

But Big Arnold was a gangster
And I valued my life, if only a little 
And I didn't want to get on the wrong side of that guy
Or her husband, who to turned out to be Berny the Weasel
So I turned the job down and left her real mad.

The rent would just have to wait for a while
Something would turn up. It always did-------
Usually wearing mink with piles of bleached hairdo
 And livid, lush smiles made of flaming red lipstick.
  
I ducked under awnings trying to keep out of the rain
And noticed some action going on down the street
There were two flashing cop cars and a skinny guy in handcuffs,
 A loud wail of anger and a big clock that said ten.

"Evening, boys." I said as I walked to the scene
And the cops grunted at me, "Move along, move along
Nothing to concern you at all here, Gumshoe."
For they clearly despised me and all of my kind
But their kind kinda kept us in business.

"I'm being framed!" the guy in cuffs yelled
In my general direction, and then, "Can you help me?"
And I didn't know and I said I would consider it 
And I seriously did till they told me his name:
Berny the Weasel was going downtown.

Well, I knew two people
Who would be happy to hear that,
Maybe had a part in it, for all that I knew
Had lined somebody's pockets
But I just didn't care.

I walked into Joe's, 
Grabbed my favorite booth
 A martini was brought me
Without my having to ask 
 The waitress, outrageous, flirted as she always did.

"You watch too many P.I. shows." I scolded the kid
'Cause she had infatuations for Marlowe and Bogart
Desperate love for Dick Powell
And I came close enough.

I sat watching the rain through the bar's steamy windows
 Sipping my drink, and then I checked my watch
Yep, it was still there............
The thunder roared and the lightning flashed 
And then I saw her coming towards me in the flash.

She had wavy blonde hair,
She had long pretty legs,
She was carrying a martini---------
But she had on the ugliest shoes 
 I'd ever seen in my life!

"Mind if I join you?" she murmured and sat
Before I could issue an invite, or look her over twice,
 Or move my poor hat
 Before she plopped herself on it.

"Sorry." she smiled, extracting the hat 
And placed it on the table
Where I uncrumpled the crown and put it back on my head
"It's okay," I said, huskily and gave her a wink
"Darling, you can sit on my hat anytime."

I ordered us another round of martinis
And dove into her eyes like an Olympiad swimmer
There was something about her, something so fetching
Something mysterious, something so good,
And something, let's face it, that was very, very bad.

As the night wore on, I fell deeply in love
In love, as only a gumshoe can love
Who doesn't know any better and has nothing better to do
It happened a lot. It was an addiction 
I needed a fix. And she had the cure.

She told me starry-eyed tales of her Iowa town,
Farm life and moo cows and home on the range
She was charming. She was lovely
She was the devil in disguise
(For none of it was true. But I was a sap.)

I still visit her...... often.... in prison
For she was, of course, a murderous girl
She had killed her 4th husband, the oil millionaire
All of his staff, including his butler,
His chauffeur, his cook and even his parrot.

She wanted me to help her flee out of the country
Had heard I was educated and knew all the tricks
And finally admitted after the seventh martini
That she'd been told I was a sucker for girls of her kind
Cute curvy blondes with long sexy legs.

But I let her down....... ultimately......like I often do
And watched crocodile tears run down her  pretty face
As they roughed her and cuffed her and took her away
She'd been mine for five hours and now she was theirs.

 The boys in blue had been brutal and had taken me down
 To the station to tell them what I knew about her,
Why I had been plotting with her in the bar,
And what in the heck had been done to my hat.

But I was a P. I. in diminishing love
And I didn't want to admit that I'd been a fool
I tried to defend her, tried to say she was innocent,
But deep in my heart, I knew she was guilty,
Knew she was a killer. She was just so darned cute.

When I left the station,
It was about almost seven
The sun hid behind clouds, avoiding the rain
The city was rising, like an alcoholic stumbling
And I needed some coffee and some bad good morning news.

Then the day passed-----------
And the evening showed up
Still raining, still stormy and still with no rent in hand
I thought about the dame with the high priced ugly shoes
And wondered how she looked in her striped prison suit.

The phone rang just as I  was reaching the door
It was a woman----------- well, no, maybe not
It sounded like a woman but I wasn't sure, 
It was high pitched and hoarse and was pleading with me.

"Calm down, lady." I shushed her politely
And sat back down behind my old battered desk
"Give me the facts as you know them now, honey
And I'll try to help you the best that I can."
(Five minutes later, I realized I was talking to a parrot.)

A parrot who had lost her dear only son
In a massacre days before
She was distraught and the cops wouldn't help
(For she was a bird and had no legal rights.)

"I'll take the case." I said like a man in a dream 
For the parrot had said that she was flying right over
With a thousand dollar bill (which sounded real good to me)
And besides, it would keep me involved with the blonde.

Two hours later,
I was walking out...........
And down the street in dark distress
The rain had slowed to a freezing drizzle
That chilled me within and without.

The Bongo Banana called but I didn't listen
I crossed the street, got into my car
Drove over the bridge and for what seemed like hours
Parked outside a cabin by a lake in the woods.

A giggling girl in an ermine coat
Came tumbling out of the doorway
A married man in a reddened face
Said "Be quiet! Someone might hear!"
And I waited till they pulled away and started up my car.

 It was back to business as usual
 Now the rent was really late
 I'd waited for the parrot till I knew I'd been had
By a real dirty cop playing a real dirty prank
 (For the parrot hadn't shown up with that thousand dollar bill.)

Yeah, sometimes nights were boring
As you waited for those husbands
Sometimes nights were lonely as you waited for those wives
And sometimes you got lucky when you walked into a bar
But every night in a private eye's life, man, it always seems to rain.

 ©by the nutty Voo
November 6, 2010
6:10 p.m.