Only When You're Gone
Only when you're gone I flee to shadow
Run with your ghost that beckons me at night
Down into bed then laughs up into my face
And lies to me that love will hold me tight.
Only when you're gone am I my boldest
Though I cling to memories that never came to pass
Dreams that pull me down into their passions
Make me blaze with lust that does not last.
Only when you're gone do I give in to
Weaknesses of needs I have for you
Holding onto hands that will not hold me
Taunting me with lies that can't be true.
My wanting you, it takes away my vowing
To stand my ground when my desire is strong
But you know I know I want you when you're with me
But not as much as when I know you're gone.
Only when you're gone do I burn like I'm fire
Blazing up with love that can't be quenched
For when your body's here you forbid my touches
And all my tears just keep the fires drenched.
Why must you torment me so, my best beloved?
Why do you callously reject my heart?
You throw out crumbs to me to make me follow
And when I'm near to you. you stand apart.
Only when you're gone, I call your name now
Cry my bitter tears into my hand
For you tease me with the taste and then withhold it
Break my heart in ways I cannot understand.
Only when you're gone do I have the freedom
To love you like I want to love you now
To pretend you love me back with love that's certain
Love I make myself believe somehow.
Only when you're gone do I feel cherished
Believing every lie I tell myself
So foolishly I hold onto your spirit
That loves me when the flesh and bone has left.
Are you a man or are you, my love, a devil?
Appearing just to drop me to my knees?
Conjuring false images to tease me
Just to laugh at me and all my pleas?
I no longer know, I no longer walk in sunlight
I've been this helpless thing for oh, so long
Living in this fantasy of shadows
Where I am loved but only when you're gone.
by Voo
Just now
Aug 25, 2019
3:44 a.m.
in a fit of madness