THE PARKING LOT PUPPY
I found you in the parking lot
You Said: If I follow you home
Will you keep me?
I said: Well, you are kinda cute
Let me think it over. Okay! I thought it over!
Let's go over to Starbucks and I'll observe you
And see what kind of tricks you can do
And if you've been properly trained.
And we did and you were and I was tickled pink
(Whatever the heck that means!)
Well, I was tickled and probably pink also
I don't know. But you sure were cute.
You Cocker Spaniel, you!
You Pomeranian puppy, you Beagle baby
You Sheep Dog that turned Hound Dog
Turned Shar Pei turned Rottweiler
Turned Pit Bull turned Pot Bellied Pig
(Oh, wait, wrong species!)
What happened to my cute little
Adorable Puppy Boy? What happened to my
Sad eyed little affectionate sock chewer?
You're just fat and bald and wrinkled
And inconsiderate and indifferent
And uncaring and mean!
So, go get all your toys and your comfy bed
And your bowls and your leashes
And your squeaky stuff and your treats
And get in the car!
I'm taking you back to the parking lot
Where I found you and setting you free!
No, we can't go to starbucks and talk!
And no, don't look at me with those
Big brown moist eyes
I'm not falling for that routine again, mister!
Get out now
And follow some other poor girl around
And ruin her life
I'm not gonna be your pal no more!
Sorry...........
Didn't mean to slam the car door on your tail
(much)
Buh..Bye!
And I watch you shuffle away dejectedly
With your tail between your legs
With your arms all full of the great stuff I bought you
And for a moment, I feel sorry for you.
But then I see the sign I had slapped on your back
Which reads:
If you find this dog, don't pick him up!
Call the Dog Catcher immediately
May have rabies, definitely has fleas
Is not house broken, is extremely spoiled
Loves nobody and he ain't no friend of mine!!
(Or anybody's.)
And I smile at your retreating backside
As a tear tries to roll down my cheek
Then you turn to look at me over your mangy shoulder
With that little once endearing leer
As if to say "Watch this!"
And you approach a pretty blonde girl
Getting out of a Toyota
Who reaches down to scratch behind your ears
Goes "Ooh and Ah! You Sweet Boy, you!
Goes "Ooh and Ah! You Sweet Boy, you!
And scoops you up in unsuspecting arms.
©by Voo
Oct 13, 2005
7:15 p.m.
Oct 13, 2005
7:15 p.m.