The Parking Lot Puppy

THE PARKING LOT PUPPY

I found you in the parking lot

You Said:  If I follow you home

Will you keep me?

I said:  Well, you are kinda cute

Let me think it over. Okay! I thought it over!

Let's go over to Starbucks and I'll observe you

And see what kind of tricks you can do

And if you've been properly trained.

And we did and you were and I was tickled pink

(Whatever the heck that means!)

Well, I was tickled and probably pink also

I don't know. But you sure were cute.

You Cocker Spaniel, you!

You Pomeranian puppy, you Beagle baby

You Sheep Dog that turned Hound Dog

Turned Shar Pei turned Rottweiler

Turned Pit Bull turned Pot Bellied Pig

(Oh, wait, wrong species!)

What happened to my cute little

 Adorable Puppy Boy? What happened to my

 Sad eyed little affectionate sock chewer?

You're just fat and bald and wrinkled

And inconsiderate and indifferent

And uncaring and mean!

So, go get all your toys and your comfy bed

And your bowls and your leashes

And your squeaky stuff and your treats

And get in the car!

I'm taking you back to the parking lot

Where I found you and setting you free!

No, we can't go to starbucks and talk!

And no, don't look at me with those

Big brown moist eyes

I'm not falling for that routine again, mister!

Get out now

 And follow some other poor girl around

And ruin her life

I'm not gonna be your pal no more!

Sorry...........

Didn't mean to slam the car door on your tail

(much)

Buh..Bye!

And I watch you shuffle away dejectedly

With your tail between your legs

With your arms all full of the great stuff I bought you

And for a moment, I feel sorry for you.

But then I see the sign I had slapped on your back

Which reads:

If you find this dog, don't pick him up!

Call the Dog Catcher immediately

May have rabies, definitely has fleas

Is not house broken, is extremely spoiled

Loves nobody and he ain't no friend of mine!!

(Or anybody's.)

And I smile at your retreating backside

As a tear tries to roll down my cheek

Then you turn to look at me over your mangy shoulder

With that little once endearing leer

As if to say "Watch this!"

And you approach a pretty blonde girl

Getting out of a Toyota

Who reaches down to scratch behind your ears
Goes "Ooh and Ah! You Sweet Boy, you!

And scoops you up in unsuspecting arms.

©by Voo

Oct 13, 2005 

7:15 p.m.

Oct 13, 2005

 7:15 p.m.