THE ILLUSIONIST
Deception flows through you like blood
Like cells and sinews stretching here and there
Endlessly growing and searching for a place to fit
And find their purpose
And so your lies find their believing lovers
Gentle, trusting innocents like me
Lost in deceptive eyes dazzling with promise,
Twinkles of star shine and lips whispering of love
I fell into your abyss
Prophesying glory, I listened to your magic
I harkened to your gifting and swore allegiance
To your cause
Only to see hope vanish in your hands
The hands of the illusionist, tricks perfected
Through millenniums of practice and hearts shredded
In the gristmill of your seducing smile
You revel in it: Your heartlessness
You stare at your own reflection, enamored
By the beauty you see there in the glass
Unmatched by mortal loveliness and grace
The mirror there that only God can break
I pity you as you destroy me and my pity drives you mad
And as I fall broken in the place of dying dreams,
It occurs to me.........
You, you Prince of Darkness
And Magician Extraordinaire:
You have never loved another, will never love another
And never be loved for who you truly are
There is no place in your heart except for you.
©by Voo
June 5, 2005
8 p.m.
Dedicated to the Prince of Darkness himself
and all of his many twisted and delusional offspring
otherwise known as Narcissists who, finding no love in their own
empty souls, seek to drain others of their love and destroy them
when they are unmasked and seen for who they really are: Shells with nothing inside but lies they have told themselves. People that can only be healed by God, not by draining victim after victim of all their joy and humanity.
In my life there have been several of these people and they all seem to follow the same manual and rulebook. They all share the exact same characteristics and personality traits, mannerisms, vocal expressions, and red flags.
When you first meet them, they are sweet and charming and make you feel
like you have met your dream come true.
Then when they have gained your love and trust, the dream becomes a nightmare as they begin to systematically destroy everything about you because that is what they feed off of to make themselves feel good and better than you because they know inside that they will never be as good as you or as real as you, as gifted as you or know true love like you do. Because there is nothing real about them. They will never share their true selves with you, answer the simplest questions or give you a compliment that doesn't hide a barb or insult. They are full of jealousies, bitterness, pride, scorn, disdain for everyone and everything but primarily with rage and anger and fear of being judged. Not that you are judging them, but they perceive EVERYTHING as judgement, not realizing that they are really judging themselves.
They are sad, lonely empty people and you feel pity for them until you get so sick of their anger and mind games that you just don't care anymore. They hate that. The only thing you can do at this point is just RUN!!! Your love cannot fix them and you have to learn that the hard way. All of the narcissists I have known have alienated everyone in their lives eventually and died all alone feeling sorry for themselves. It is a sad sad thing. But that is the life and world that they have created for themselves and there is nothing you can do about it.
May God heal and deliver them and you, if you find you have these people in your lives. I know from experience that it is like living in hell and will make you question your own sanity. But it's not your fault. Believe that. I do not know what causes them to be like this, I will never understand it. I only know that the world is full of them and that they bring the Prince of Darkness much joy if indeed he can feel joy because they are so much, whether willingly or unwillingly, like him. Miserable. And conduits of that misery to everyone that lets them into their lives on an intimate basis. Outsiders and strangers who do not really know them will always think they are sweet and charming and wonderful (which they can be and you'll love them for that!) but being consummate actors playing roles...it is NOT REAL. That fairytale will soon turn into the ultimate horror movie. And you will be afraid to love or trust any one else for a long time. Learn the red flags now and learn to recognize them in the future. They are like clones. They are all alike (with exceptions) and once you are educated on this subject, you will save yourself much grief and pain. But you will always think about them and all the potential you saw in them that will probably never be. And you will cry for what might have been. But know in your heart that it was not your fault. They were broken before you met them. Now fix all the damage they did to you and move on. Sigh.
