Hallmark Moments That Never Were

 

Hallmark Moments

that never were

I had a Hallmark moment once

With my dad....................

The trouble is, I don't remember it

And looking at this photo here

We both looked scared too death

Of one another.........so.....

What is it

I am supposed to remember

And would I want to remember

Anything if I could?

And I wonder what it was

That he remembered about me
In the long icy years 
Before he passed from this life?

I remember my Pa, my daddy's daddy

And how much fun we had together

And how he laughed at all my antics

As we went fishing or riding

Or  just to the store
Where he'd buy me Grapettes and candy 

And I'd always want more.

I remember horses and cattle barns and sawdust at auctions

And how excited they'd be cause they thought it was slick

When I'd run down and do my "horse whisperer" trick

Coming home with a truck full and most of them, free

Cause they couldn't be tamed by nobody but me.

I remember playing cowboys and indians

And robbers and cops

Setting the sawmill on fire with my little friend, Eddie

 And how bad we felt

When the whole thing went up.

I remember I loved all the animals

And they all loved me

But I really loved horses

And I hadn't a care

I would sneak out and sleep in the stables beside them

And Mama would scream when she found me there.

I remember Mama's song writing

And singing and ironing

Her fried chicken and biscuits

And Ma's apple cakes 

The country way Ma talked

Calling asparagus "Sparegrass"

And it was embarrassing to us kids

But boy, she could bake!

I remember the creek and the bridge

And the swimming hole in summer

Sitting on the stock-gap and up in the trees
Playing circus and clowns
With my brothers and sisters

Writing poetry for hours

'Bout the birds and the bees.

I remember sharing Ma's secrets

And going through her treasures 

Stealing chocolate covered cherries
That she thought I couldn't see

And how she would rail then

But she knew it was me.

I remember pet cats and dogs 

And squirrels and horses

Rabbits and pigs

And geese and goats

Cows and chickens

That Pa sold me for pennies

Like peacocks and turtles

But I hated the guineas.

I remember Mama dressing up

In outrageous costumes

Coming round to the door

And fooling our dad

Who thought she was a stranger

And how we all laughed

But he never saw funny, he always got mad.

I remember  gallons of ice cream and Ma's baby brother

Visiting the kinfolk that lived far off a ways

Working hard in the summer and sneaking off on Ole Dan

Riding up in the hills and staying all day.

I remember a lot of things

And some of them good

But most times were bad

Just because of my Dad

And to make a bad rhyme here:

That is so sad.

I wish I could remember him loving me 
Like a daddy should love

His own little girl

And him making me giggle

And buying me toys

But all I remember is his sad, angry world.

And in light of that memory

I've tried to make all my life

One big Hallmark moment

In the joy and the strife.........

And sometimes, I failed

And sometimes I succeeded 

But there have been many and I'm proud of that.

©By Voo 

June 17, 2017

10:47 p.m.

dedicated to Fathers everywhere

Please make happy times

For your kids to remember

For after all,

what else is left of you when you go
but the memories?

                                                         Remember by Sarah Mc Lachlan

Giving Away  Laughter by John Trudell

Man Of Contradictions

 

(The Man of 
 Contradictions)

I loved a man of contradictions

Who none of his promises kept

He wrote pages of poetry about wiping my tears

But he was the reason I wept.

I told him all about myself

My dreams, my fears, my hope

But when I queried a simple question

With that he could not cope.

He wrote of gods and goddesses

Of Poseidon under the sea

He wrote long poems about mists and mysteries

But few of his love for me.

And if he did, it was a series

Of questions without end

That took you down such winding roads

And back where they'd begin.

And you never got an answer

To any question asked

Not about the future

And not about the past.

The more you learned, the less you knew

And life went on the same

And all  you knew at the end of the day

Was his last and given name.

Oh, he could tell you about magic

Or Medusa with snakes in her hair

And he could write books about  Lilith's good looks

But about him, he had little to share.

Such a contradiction, was this man

Always secretly, carefully contained

He could charm and be bold till the unknown turned you cold

He could obtain love but could not love sustain.

He didn't lie but didn't tell you the truth

He just omitted all the everyday facts

We'd talk for hours about joy and pain

But I never knew the man behind the mask.

How can you love a man that you don't really know?

How can you long for one who can't seem to care?

How can you believe he'll ever be there for you 

When every time you turn 'round, he's not there.

The man of contradictions

The darkness and the light

Rolled into one, the fear and the fun

But only real in the dreams of the night.

I never was sure where I stood 

Never was sure how he felt

He seemed to think I should  just be so happy

With the mysterious cards that he dealt.

But I was never happy

And never satisfied

For he never gave me enough to be

And the gulf was always wide.

His joy could be contagious

And you hoped that it was true

Then from out of nowhere in the blink of an eye

He'd turn and blindside you.

And you never saw it coming

Or knew from whence it came

You wondered what on earth you'd done

And why you felt such shame.

Eggshells were the carpets you walked on

You had to tread so light

Because you never knew what made

His sunshine turn to night.

I loved him, oh, I loved him!

With all my heart and soul

But I never was a priority

A need, desire or goal.

I don't know what I meant to him

If indeed, meant any thing

In light of the way it all fell away

When I woke from that indecipherable dream.

The man of contradictions 

And complexities so deep

He'll never share his heart with me 

And his secrets will always keep.

Our love will fade into the mist

Like a cloud into the blue

And none of the dreams I shared with him

Will I ever see come true.

I stood and I waited, he walked away

I wanted the joy, and he chose the woe

God put together what his fear tore asunder

And that fairytale ending now, we'll never know.

©by Voo Shining Stone

😥💔

Look At You... poem I wrote for Leonard Cohen yrs ago

 

Look At You

You said you'd never smile again

After surviving the wars of love

Coming out on the other side wounded

And haunted by the ghosts of pain.

Don't look at me, you said, I'm half a man

I'm crippled and scarred

And you are still beautiful

No one can mend me now.

But I didn't listen or take heed to your

Warnings

I loved you till you hated me and loved

Me once again.

Now, look at you, you're laughing

Your scars unseen

Your heart healed

In the patience of my tender hands.

Look at you, my love

My tenacity has worked a miracle

My stubborn hope

Has given you back your smile.

©by Voo

Jan 7, 05

7:30 p.m.

For my beloved Leonard

The Only one For Me

 

The Only One For Me by John Trudell

The Only One For Me

You're my prayer's answer

My song's refrain

My cloud, my sky, my sun and rain

You are my passion

My heart's desire

My night, my day, my warming fire

You are my sweetness

My spirit's soar

My dance, my music, my reason for

You are my light

My soul's embrace

My other self that wears your face

You are my treasure

My hidden gold

My wealth, the depth, cannot be told

You are my blessing

My greatest gift

My joy that gives this life a lift

You are my lover

My dearest friend

My best companion that's ever been

You are my heart

My need to be 

My love till ends eternity

You are the only one for me.

©By Voo

Sept 19, 2010   

1:45 a.m.

Thirteen Paper Airplanes

 

Thirteen Paper Airplanes




Thirteen paper airplanes later
I realized that boredom can kill
And I rounded them all up
From their landings in high and low destinations
And crashed them all into the fireplace.


What is about the weekend
That makes you feel like
Life is passing you by
Like you're missing out on some great something
That can only happen on a Saturday?


Saturdays used to be a time
For cartoons and serials and cereals
In big bowls full of milk and sugar
And stained pajamas and sleepy mamas
And all was right with the world when the t.v. was on.


Not any more.....now,  I can't stand the t.v.
With it's death-o-matic never ending gore
It's sound effects so ear-catching
It makes you want to pummel someone
Just to see if you can re-create that sound.


Talking heads spewing tele-prompted script
Offering opinion and counsel, advice and contempt
Cruel humor and sanctimonious noddings
That put you to sleep
Until the pre-arranged melee breaks loose.


The radio is no better
You hear the same tweaked songs
Over and over until you know them by heart
And you sing along until you figure out
That they're all the same song, just a different tune.


Sex sells. Oh, yeah?
Well, who wants sex that can be bought
For crying out loud? Isn't that dirty sex
That makes both the seller and the buyer dirty
Even if it is just a pornographic song?


So, why am I ranting and raving
On this beautiful, sunny Saturday?
Why am I thinking of these things
That make me upset in a deeply shallow way?
You tell me.


I think it's because
I'm alone in a world full of lonely people
Trying to find meaning in a meaningless morass
Of news, blues and Blue-toothed crazy people
Talking to themselves as they walk through K-Mart.


Maybe I should go to K-Mart myself
And buy some pretty colored papers
Colors like reds and golds and greens
Bring them home, get out the design book
And make more glorious airplanes.


Yawn. God, I've got to get a life!
Got one nobody is using?
One that's already been used up to the full
And discarded because it was just too exciting?
I'll take it. Long as it didn't belong to Cleopatra.

I hate snakes.

©by Voo
May 23, 09
3:11 p.m.