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Utter Nonsense and Other Pages From My Diary
Stereo blasting in full color
Bright blues for blues
Grays for emptiness
And equalizers throwing gasoline
On red hot torch songs about darkness.
She walked
But no one saw her
It was one of those days
When the nights never end
And camels stop
To fill up their tanks before
Heading into Los Angeles.
There was nothing to do about it
The ufo just hovered there
Like the one above Travis Walton's head
And I kept hoping it'd beam me up
Or knock me senseless but it never did.
Icicles hung from the sun
And snowmen melted
On the truck beds of 4th of July parade floats
While children threw candy
And taunted Santa Claus with wish lists.
I can't stand this stuff anymore!
No body writes about my life
It's like I don't have one or something
I must just be somebody's dream
On some far away planet
In the middle of an ocean of dishwater.
Is there any way out of here?
The banana cook flipped his pancake
And stared at me like I was Cornflakes
On a hot afternoon
But he had it all wrong: I was Fruit Loops.
You need a drink, he said
You look like chocolate milk
On a prehistoric playground
Here, drink this.
And he handed me a rubber plant
And a straw.
There's no ending to this story
I could go on and on and on and on.....
Like a cabaret singer
With a thousand songs in her soul
And a mike so hot it burns her hand.
I see you out there reading this
You're thinking: Damn!
I should play chess more often
I had no idea how insane the queen was.
Well, I am insane
But I'm never boring
These words prove that
These words prove
That you can make a poem outta anything
And somebody will read it and say
My God, she's brilliant!
But that's just a fact
In a constellation of a sea of fiction
Oranges don't grow on trees, baby!
And girls like me
Don't come along every day.
Which is why the earth is spinning
And global warming is popping corn in the fields
In the middle of December
Al Gore knows the truth: He invented it
Just ask his wife.
If the world turned upside down
Would the oceans fall on our heads
And would we drown in self pity
And fish for tuna in the tops of trees?
I really need an answer to that question
I really do.
Oh, wait, the CIA is at the door.....
BRB.......
(They wanted to know my sources)
They wanted to know if I was a double-knot spy
And if I knew the way to San Jose
(I told them to hang a left at the Dollar Tree.)
My therapist does my therapy for free, you know
He said it amuses him
And that he finds my vocabulary sexy
But I won't lie down on his couch without protection
I wear an inner tube and hold a flamethrower.
I'm in love with this guy
Who lives in my stereo CD player
And sings to me about blue lights and purple things
We have this love/hate relationship
I love him but he refuses to eject so I hate him, too.
Buffaloes roam in the canyons
I think they fell out of the ufo
I'm not sure. I'm sure of that
Being sure of unsurety keeps me grounded, you know?
I tried to lasso one once but it got away.
( A buffalo, you moron!)
What did you think I meant?!
I may be insane but I'm not stupid!
Except on Tuesdays but then everybody's
Stupid on Tuesdays, right?
I think I read that on a menu somewhere.
Crickets are calling my name
I must run.............
You could probably catch me
On your little frog legs if you wanted to
But there's a 99.9 % chance
That I won't kiss you if you do.
Some people live
For that 1%, however.......
©By Voo
Oct 25, 07
spur of the moment write
out of pure boredom
please don't ask me what it means
Just Enjoy it.
Stereo blasting in full color
Bright blues for blues
Grays for emptiness
And equalizers throwing gasoline
On red hot torch songs about darkness.
She walked
But no one saw her
It was one of those days
When the nights never end
And camels stop
To fill up their tanks before
Heading into Los Angeles.
There was nothing to do about it
The ufo just hovered there
Like the one above Travis Walton's head
And I kept hoping it'd beam me up
Or knock me senseless but it never did.
Icicles hung from the sun
And snowmen melted
On the truck beds of 4th of July parade floats
While children threw candy
And taunted Santa Claus with wish lists.
I can't stand this stuff anymore!
No body writes about my life
It's like I don't have one or something
I must just be somebody's dream
On some far away planet
In the middle of an ocean of dishwater.
Is there any way out of here?
The banana cook flipped his pancake
And stared at me like I was Cornflakes
On a hot afternoon
But he had it all wrong: I was Fruit Loops.
You need a drink, he said
You look like chocolate milk
On a prehistoric playground
Here, drink this.
And he handed me a rubber plant
And a straw.
There's no ending to this story
I could go on and on and on and on.....
Like a cabaret singer
With a thousand songs in her soul
And a mike so hot it burns her hand.
I see you out there reading this
You're thinking: Damn!
I should play chess more often
I had no idea how insane the queen was.
Well, I am insane
But I'm never boring
These words prove that
These words prove
That you can make a poem outta anything
And somebody will read it and say
My God, she's brilliant!
But that's just a fact
In a constellation of a sea of fiction
Oranges don't grow on trees, baby!
And girls like me
Don't come along every day.
Which is why the earth is spinning
And global warming is popping corn in the fields
In the middle of December
Al Gore knows the truth: He invented it
Just ask his wife.
If the world turned upside down
Would the oceans fall on our heads
And would we drown in self pity
And fish for tuna in the tops of trees?
I really need an answer to that question
I really do.
Oh, wait, the CIA is at the door.....
BRB.......
(They wanted to know my sources)
They wanted to know if I was a double-knot spy
And if I knew the way to San Jose
(I told them to hang a left at the Dollar Tree.)
My therapist does my therapy for free, you know
He said it amuses him
And that he finds my vocabulary sexy
But I won't lie down on his couch without protection
I wear an inner tube and hold a flamethrower.
I'm in love with this guy
Who lives in my stereo CD player
And sings to me about blue lights and purple things
We have this love/hate relationship
I love him but he refuses to eject so I hate him, too.
Buffaloes roam in the canyons
I think they fell out of the ufo
I'm not sure. I'm sure of that
Being sure of unsurety keeps me grounded, you know?
I tried to lasso one once but it got away.
( A buffalo, you moron!)
What did you think I meant?!
I may be insane but I'm not stupid!
Except on Tuesdays but then everybody's
Stupid on Tuesdays, right?
I think I read that on a menu somewhere.
Crickets are calling my name
I must run.............
You could probably catch me
On your little frog legs if you wanted to
But there's a 99.9 % chance
That I won't kiss you if you do.
Some people live
For that 1%, however.......
©By VooOct 25, 07
spur of the moment write
out of pure boredom
please don't ask me what it means
Just Enjoy it.
There we were in the middle of the dance floor a’hippin and a’hoppin, flippin’ and a’floppin’ like two frogs rumba salsa lemon meringi daincin’ on lily pads movin’ back and forth, forth and back, in and out, out and…….. well, you get the picture..
ReplyDeleteAnyway we were just daincin’ away to so 1960’s type music, and that’s when I spotted the guy stereo blast daincin’ in full color out on the daince floor all by his self doing the air meraingi …….. it was so “Bizarre!”
It was right then when he flashed us a “bleep” eatin’ grin. He thought he was so hot! I thought about throwing some gasoline on him and lighting him up with a red-hot torch ……….. then he could think hot all he wanted.
It was like something out of the “Twilight Zone.” Then I got to thinkin’, this is “Stupid Tuesday!”
Then he got to jumpin’ on one laig and then the other like a frog hollerin’, “pick me! pick me!” So I blew him a “Kiss”. Boy did that fire him up (musta been the gasoline).
He was cat-like, you know…..Then he started doing’ the “Moon-walk”, (I heard someone holler at him, “Hey Billie Jean, you’re causin’ a scene!” He hollered back, “I am the one!…. Uh!”)
Well then he started a sniffin’ and a’snortin actin’ like an alien who came in for a land and didn’t make the landin’!
Well we went back to our daincin’ and by then we were doin’ the Mexican hat daince around the fountain while a bald headed guy with a smerk on his face was pourin’ us a drank…..
As I looked out on the daince floor Billie Jean was beginnin’ to pout like a kid who got in trouble and was makin’ all kinds of faces. I thought, there’s got to be an “End” to all this.
Then suddenly he throws himself on the floor. Everyone was lookin’ and makin’ all kinds of “Faces” as he was a-floppin’ here and thar. Then the guy with the “Bulldog” face turns around and asks him, “hey Billie Jean! How many fingers am I holdin’ up?”
All he could say was, “Help me!”
That’s when I realized he was a little tipsy. That explained it all…….. it’s “Utter Nonsense!”
Kind of a crazy, comical muse-type poem for those in the percentile bracket! 🌹😁
He was tipsy????!!!Son, you done got yerself pickled agin, ain't ye? good lord! that was nuts! rofl
ReplyDelete