Strangely Vulnerable

 Strangely Vulnerable


Always been a steel butterfly
A stem that bends, not breaks
I had to be a woman early
For all my siblings' sakes.

I sacrificed my childhood
Though it was truly not my choice
I had to grieve in silence
And pretend I had no voice.

While deep inside, I yearned for
A life to call my own
Someone to make me feel loved
Someone to feel like home.

And years went by in sadness
And no love showed it's face
I looked to find that treasure
And made for it a place.

The sadness made me stronger
The pain gave me resolve
An enigma and a puzzle
That no one dared to solve.

I stood alone, I lived alone
A warrior in the fight
No armor bearer, no sweet companion
To help me bear the night.

And then you came into my life
With love there in your eyes
So much like I, it made me cry
And feel I'd won a prize.

And all my soul I gave to you
And all my love and heart
Feeling you fit into me
Like we'd never been apart.

But to my surprise, I found that I
In surrendering all of me
Became a little girl again
That only you could see.

That strong oak tree that I'd become
 Became a willow, swaying
And the warrior woman so tough outside
Became a schoolgirl, playing.

That love would make me vulnerable
Was not part of my plan
I only meant to show my strength
Like I'd always shown a man.

But not with you could I do that
However right or wrong
I found myself surrendering
And not wanting to be strong.

For in your arms I felt at last
The woman and the girl
I'd always been but was afraid to be
Alone there in the world.

But you have the power to crush me
And your words can bite and sting
Just as you have the power to endow
And the gift to make me sing.

So strangely, strangely vulnerable
I've become and yet I find
It's comforting to be a part of you,
Your body and your mind.

What heals can hurt, what hurts can heal
It's odd how love can be
The humbling vulnerabilities
In turn, can set you free.

You'll hurt me though you don't mean to
And heal me if you can
Through it all, you'll see, the woman- child in me
Will make you a stronger man.

For fear of love doesn't make you strong
But weaker every day
For your heart slows down and eventually stops
Every time you push love away.

These are the lessons that I've learned
In the life wars that I've fought
And that love is the most highly prized of all things
But it's something that cannot be bought.

So I willingly give myself to you
For my heart, though battle-worn
Is soft and pliable in your hands
Like a heart, just newly born.

©By Voo Shining Stone
The Woman-Child Who Found Herself
Jan 14, 2020
1:06 a.m.