Mask

Dark Piano

Mask

I wear a mask these days
These long, long days of apple green
And cherry red hues of violent fire
Flowing ever constant through my veins.

No one should see this
This me that lives inside my head
This soulstruck, angry being
Shoveling coal in an imaginary hell.

What is it about me
That terrifies myself as nothing else can
That wakes me in the deepest night
To lie awake working out unsolvable puzzles?

I love..I can love…I do love
I love with a persistence that denies dream
Denies fault, denies substance and begging
And clings to invisible strings dangling in the darkness.

Yet in the morning
I wear a mask and a cloak of hiding
Covering breaks in the mind
And tears in the seams of a ragged heart.

I do this for protection
Not for myself but for the world
That must not be exposed to the hurt
Hanging from my eyes and shadowing my footsteps.

I am a phantom
A ghost living among the living
Not participating in the life
But still remembering it’s taste.

Here and there, now and again
I meet another, like myself
Shrouded in mist and howling in silent pain
And we stand and stare as if in a mirror.

And oft as not, we do not speak
But nod in recognition and bow
To a fellow sufferer of these dark days
And endless, everlasting aching.

Once, I was young and beautiful
Vibrant with life and running over with love
Joyful as dawn and undaunted by the setting of the sun
And the world was my happy playground.

But now the midnight
Wraps me in it’s icy arms
Caresses my face with cold sleepless fingers
And kisses I do not want.

It tells me that here I belong
Here, abandoned by love and deserted by hope
I must dwell now always, hiding my ugliness
Behind this mask of the forsaken.

What a hellish, lonely thing life is!
Outwardly, I have not changed
I am still beautiful there, still young, still very much alive
It’s only on the inside that I am terrifying

It’s only on the inside, that it’s dark

All the time.

by Voo

Sept 22, 07

copyrighted

So Cute...so Cuddly...

Wicked Game by Hauser on his wicked cello....omg

On The Other Side of The Other Side

On The Other Side of the Other Side

Out there in the cold gray dawn

I see you in the mist

Your face so sad and vulnerable

Needing to be kissed.

I cannot bear to see it

I cannot bear to feel

And yet I do not really know

If it is false or real.

You raise your hopeful eyes to me

A tear runs down your face

You plead with me yet silently

To all your fears, erase.

And I don't know the way to go

To make you smile again

Two lovers, we, so wild and free

That started out as friends.

Then love stepped in and pulled us

Down to love's dark depths

So star-crossed, we, so love starved, we

Needing love, despaired, bereft.

And the more we loved, the more we wanted

The more it slipped our grasp

And futures bright bade us goodnight

And slipped into our past.

What good is love if it can't live

Within the present time?

What good is love if it can't exist

Outside the tortured mind?

I ache to hold you desperately

In my two arms so tight

To bid you stay here in the day

And banish the lonely night.

But wishes are only wishes

And hope is just a yen

And yearning is just a dream undreamed

Of what might have, could have been.

I see you in the mist of dawn

Your head bowed on your chest

Waiting for me to come to you

And give your soul a rest.

But here between the two of us

There stands an invisible door

'Twixt tangible and ethereal

And it won't open any more.

I've tried to break it down with tears

I've tried a hammer's pounding

But the hammer bounced back in my hand

And in my tears I just fell, drowning.

I watch you in that mirror now

There on on the other side

Waiting to see if you can find the key

To the place where I reside.

What cruel, cruel fate, the two of us

Have been assigned and yet

We're sentenced to recall the rise and fall

And the love we can't forget.

My love, I know you hear me

There on your side of this

Unhappy world where boy and girl

Were wedded with one kiss.

Then torn apart with breaking hearts

To exist in the world alone

Watching one another fade

Till the two of us are gone.

©by Voo

for the man that faded into the mist

9/09/19

2:29 p.m.