Give Me A Name

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Give Me A Name

It gets dark now at dawn

The old ones say the world has died

But just hasn't laid down to sleep yet

I don't know about that

But I know that everything just feels wrong.

I found me a diamond yesterday

Laying in the midnight sun

Down in the creek bed big as my fist

Fishes swimming all around it

Like they were protecting it for me.

My grandfather started singing a song

But got too choked up to finish

And he handed me his drum

And said "I'm giving you this song

I can't sing it anymore."

So I caught my pony

And we ran over thirty two miles of red dirt 

Dark clouds passing over our heads like birds

Laughing, trying to hold onto childhood

And singing my grandfather's song.

If I grow up, I want to be...I want to be a human

A being made of ground

And breath breathed by the Creator

Not one of the clay people who walk around

With hollow eyes and empty souls.

My brother's like that

He was human before he went away to war

But he came back hollow and soul-less

With broken eyes and no sound to his laughter

I don't think he's in there anymore.

My father hasn't spoken in thirteen years

Not since the day I was born

Not once has he smiled at me or touched my hair

My mother said he wanted a boy to replace my brother

But I came into the world in a feminine form.

I hear the old ones sometimes

They whisper to me in the woods

And down by the river when I'm fishing

Sometimes we sing together in the native tongue

And they make me forget that I'm a nameless child.

There are no children here, only me

And what I know, I've taught myself

We live so far away from civilization

I'm not sure what country we are in

Or what planet we live on.

When my grandmother lay dying

She gave me her beads and her wedding dress

Made of fine, soft skins made by her mother

And she said, "Daughter, don't let yourself die."

And I promised I wouldn't but I'm not sure, I'm not sure.

I wish I lived in the days of the warriors

And teepees and buffaloes and sharp arrowheads

Not this faded gray world and this tar papered shack

On this plot of dead earth

Where hope no longer grows.

If I grow up....if I become a woman

I think I might try to run away from here

I'll take my pony, for I can see the longing, too, in his eyes

And we'll walk until we can see the sun still shining in the morning

There among the humans.... if we find any.

 And I'll give my diamond

To the man who will give me a name.

                    

  ©By Voo

     Nov 10, 07

     6:45 p.m.

Some Of My Favorite Tee Shirts

Teach Me To Love

Teach Me To Love 

I know a lot about a lot of things

And a bit about a few

But all I really want to know 

Is how to find a love that's true.

I'm very highly educated

And most definitely well read

But all I want is to get in my heart

What's always been in my head.

They say I am a pretty girl

And intelligent and fun

So why can't I with all my gifts

Find my one and only one?

I don't think that I am all that shy

Nor am I all that bold

But I'd do anything to find

True love before I'm old.

'Cause life without the song of love

Is just not life at all

There is no reason to have a voice

If no one hears you call.

I see so many couples

Walking hand in hand

Happy women smiling at

Their happy smiling man.

But love just passes by my heart

Like I'm not even there

As lovers lie and make me cry

And prove that they don't care.

I do not know what I do wrong

Or what love wants of me

There's something there that I can't hear

And something I can't see.

Maybe love wants no part of me

And maybe love I'll never find

But  if I had a teacher to teach me to love

Maybe I could make it mine.

It's worth a shot, what have I got

To lose but a broken heart?

I've got to stop this giving up

Before I even start.

I've got so much inside of me

To give to someone else

I've saved up love all of my life

But lived loveless and bereft.

I know I could make someone happy

And I would treat them right

So I'm here to sign up for your course

Can you teach me tonight?

I'll be a willing student

For you know of love's sweet charms

 And I'm here to learn how to make love come

And hold it in my arms.

I've got a home here in my heart

For love to live and stay

And I'll gladly give it to the one

Who won't throw that love away.

I Wanna Know What Love Is

©By Voo

July 7, 2019

7:14 p.m.

Teach Me Tonight
by Dinah Washington

The Mask

Dark Piano

Mask

I wear a mask these days
These long, long days of apple green
And cherry red hues of violent fire
Flowing ever constant through my veins.

No one should see this
This me that lives inside my head
This soulstruck, angry being
Shoveling coal in an imaginary hell.

What is it about me
That terrifies myself as nothing else can
That wakes me in the deepest night
To lie awake working out unsolvable puzzles?

I love..I can love…I do love
I love with a persistence that denies dream
Denies fault, denies substance and begging
And clings to invisible strings dangling in the darkness.

Yet in the morning
I wear a mask and a cloak of hiding
Covering breaks in the mind
And tears in the seams of a ragged heart.

I do this for protection
Not for myself but for the world
That must not be exposed to the hurt
Hanging from my eyes and shadowing my footsteps.

I am a phantom
A ghost living among the living
Not participating in the life
But still remembering it’s taste.

Here and there, now and again
I meet another, like myself
Shrouded in mist and howling in silent pain
And we stand and stare as if in a mirror.

And oft as not, we do not speak
But nod in recognition and bow
To a fellow sufferer of these dark days
And endless, everlasting aching.

Once, I was young and beautiful
Vibrant with life and running over with love
Joyful as dawn and undaunted by the setting of the sun
And the world was my happy playground.

But now the midnight
Wraps me in it’s icy arms
Caresses my face with cold sleepless fingers
And kisses I do not want.

It tells me that here I belong
Here, abandoned by love and deserted by hope
I must dwell now always, hiding my ugliness
Behind this mask of the forsaken.

What a hellish, lonely thing life is!
Outwardly, I have not changed
I am still beautiful there, still young, still very much alive
It’s only on the inside that I am terrifying

It’s only on the inside, that it’s dark

All the time.

by Voo

Sept 22, 07

copyrighted

Tears Have Been My Companions

Tears Have Been My Companions 

Lost years had shadowed me so long

I couldn't see the sun

I couldn't find the strength to crawl

Never mind to run.......

I looked in the mirror and every day

A stranger looked back there at me

She covered my eyes and filled me with lies

And pure darkness was all I could see........

What hope that I found was found in the sound

Of the music that played in the world

And when it died, I died inside

A lost and lonely girl..........

I didn't know just who I was

I didn't know my name

The more I changed and tried to fit

The more things stayed the same.........

Putting on the costumes

They gave me for the parts

I read my lines and took my bows

With the other broken hearts.........

Crying in the mid of night

My pillow stained and torn

From screaming questions out of fright

And torment hard to be borne..........

I lived in fear. I lived with tears

My life was filled with grief

I laughed and played my parts so well

But tears were my relief........

And now, but now, I've found myself

The true me, after all

The building that I thought I was

I watched it burn and fall...........

And tears are still my companions

Though not instruments for fear to employ

To my great surprise, when Love touched my eyes

Those same tears filled my eyes with joy.

by Voo

Oct 7, 2006

4:30 p.m.

copyrighted

words by Voo, melody by Linda Rose

song by Spirit Song