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10 Things Narcissists Fear Most

Narcissists like to pretend that they’re all-powerful, all-knowing beings that can never be harmed. But regardless of how they act, there are actually quite a few things that strike fear deep into their hearts. Narcissists are known to be extremely vain and care only about themselves. The world itself revolves around them (or so they think). But just what is a narcissist? In psychology, there is something called “narcissistic personality disorder.” The definition of this disorder is  “A mental disorder in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of ultraconfidence lies a fragile self-esteem that’s vulnerable to the slightest criticism.” It’s that last part of the definition that is the most telling. Deep down, these people are very fragile, with extremely low self-esteem. It seems obvious then, that there are many things that really scare them. Here are just ten of those things:

Relationship Commitment

Narcissists are often characterized by a failure or inability to pursue lasting, meaningful relationships. The reasons for this are pretty clear. To be in a relationship, you have to let your guard down, and this is something that narcissists are really afraid of. Being in a relationship means that your partner will get to know you, including all of your faults and embarrassments. For narcissists, letting people see these imperfections in their character can seem unthinkable, and even frightening. There is also a phenomenon known as “sexual narcissism” where people (usually men) create this fake idea in their heads that they’re much better at sex than they actually are. Being in a long-term relationship runs the risk of exposing them for not being as great in bed as they think they are, and this can also cause fear.

Looking Deep Into Their Own Soul

One of the biggest things about narcissists is that they refuse to examine their own inadequacies and imperfections. Because of this, one of the things that scares them most is something right under their noses – themselves. They like to create this false idea of themselves as superior beings, but some part of them, subconscious or otherwise, knows that this is all a lie. That part of their mind is shielded away from them, but it’s always there. To look into this area of their mind would be to confront everything that is wrong with their personality, and it’s something that narcissists dread more than almost anything else. To be fair, this is something that a lot of people fear, not just narcissists. Really looking at yourself critically can be one of the hardest things to do, and not many people are truly capable of it. But while most people merely find this uncomfortable and unsettling, narcissists find it horrifying and life-shattering.


Insults

Another thing narcissists really fear is being insulted. Narcissists are characterized by a hypersensitivity to insults, and the mere thought of being verbally abused can be a source of great fear for them. Hypersensitivity means that they experience the “sting” of being insulted much more than the average person. While a normal person might be hurt and saddened by an insult, they’ll probably get over it in a matter of days or even hours. Narcissists on the other hand will feel insults as a crushing blow to their already fragile self-esteem, and they’ll brood and sulk over it for weeks on end. They might even never get over it (depending on the insult), or even plot some kind of revenge to get back at the person who insulted them. Another phenomenon that happens with narcissists is that they sometimes imagine insults where there are none. These people are so insecure and paranoid that their minds will actually create insults when someone might just be making innocent comments about them. This level of paranoia shows how much narcissists truly fear being insulted.

Shame

Another thing that narcissists really fear is shame. They really value their place in society, and they like to think that people hold them in high regard. But it’s an interesting point to make that narcissists fear shame, not guilt. Guilt would imply that they feel bad about hurting someone’s feelings, or doing the wrong thing. It’s widely accepted that true narcissists are incapable of feeling these emotions, because they find it impossible to put themselves in other people’s shoes. Shame is much more daunting to narcissists, because this implies them being singled out by their community or friends and given a lower status. People who are shamed are sometimes shunned or even exiled from a society. Since narcissists value their pride and their standing in society so dearly, tasting the bitter feeling of shame and a wounded ego can be one of the most dreaded experiences for them.

Lack Of Admiration From Others

Narcissists feed heavily on the admiration of others. Without other people, they are nothing. That’s why one of the biggest fears for narcissists is the complete lack of admiration from others. This is not quite as feared as being shamed by others, but it’s very close. Some people don’t mind feeling like they’re invisible. They’re totally okay with walking down the hallways or the street with no one paying them any attention. But for narcissists, even the thought of this happening is like a nightmare to them. It’s that feeling of total irrelevance and unimportance that frightens narcissists so much. Because of this, they will often try very hard to put themselves in important roles (imagined or otherwise) in society, in order to avoid this much-feared fate. Admiration from others is the source of a narcissist’s power in their mind, and without it they are nothing. It’s this lack of power that frightens narcissists so much.

Getting Called Out On Their Lies

Narcissists are famous for lying or exaggerating certain things to make themselves appear more important or impressive. They also do this to make themselves feel better about their own standing in society. So it’s only logical that one of narcissists’ greatest fears is having those lies and exaggerations exposed. It’s not just that getting called out would bring them shame, or show them as less than what they are – it’s the fact that it reveals to the world how weak and insecure they really are. It brings their whole fake world crashing down around them, and as already stated, narcissists think the world revolves around them. And while they are spinning their lies and exaggerations about their own accomplishments, part of them knows deep down that they’re stretching the truth. And from the minute they start telling these lies, they become incredibly paranoid about the fact that someone might one day uncover them.

Not Being In Important Positions

Another major fear of narcissists is that they aren’t important. One of the key characteristics of narcissists is that they relentlessly pursue positions of power and influence. That’s why so many tyrants and leaders were (and are) narcissists. But you can see these characteristics all the way down to the high school level, where narcissists can be seen coldly pursuing an election campaign for class president. But it’s more than just a popularity contest for narcissists. It’s a power contest. And power is incredibly important for these people. Narcissists are also famous for being incredibly competitive. They want to win and be the best, and being the leader or the boss is their ultimate victory. Another interesting characteristic of narcissists is the fact that they seem to want recognition or admiration without any actual accomplishments or achievements. They seem to think they deserve power because they were destined for it. Interestingly, this is very similar to what ancient kings and pharaohs believed; that they were given the right to rule by god, not by personal accomplishment.

Feeling Remorse

Another key characteristic of narcissism is the incapacity to feel remorse. It’s not just that they can’t feel remorse, it’s that they actively refuse to show remorse. This fierce rejection of the very notion of feeling bad about hurting others is indicative of a very deep fear. It’s a total denial of remorse. And why do they fear remorse so much? It’s simple. To them, remorse is a characteristic of weakness. Remorse, to them, shows vulnerability and emotional frailty. And to feel remorse is to open yourself up to that weakness. Remorse is also in its basest form the acceptance that you have made a mistake. And for proud and haughty individuals such as narcissists, this can be unthinkable. More than that – it can be a major source of fear. Remorse is also a way of apologizing, and this is also unthinkable for self-aggrandizing people with narcissistic traits.

Feeling Gratitude

Another feeling that these people reject and fear is gratitude. Gratitude, like remorse, is another emotion that is perceived as a sign of weakness by people who are narcissistic. To these people, gratitude is in a sense giving other people power over yourself. It’s the acceptance that you owe something to someone. It also forces you to come to terms with the fact that you might have needed someone else’s help. To narcissistic people, they think of themselves as these all-powerful beings that rise far above others in superiority. The acceptance that someone else did something valuable for them brings them crashing back down to earth. The notion that someone else gave them something they needed not only puts them on the same level as others, it also makes them feel like they’re weaker, or lower down on the social ladder. And this is one of narcissistic people’s greatest fears.

Death


Death is something that a lot of people don’t want to address or confront, not just narcissistic personalities. But for narcissists, death can be a huge source of fear. Think about it. Narcissists think of themselves as these all-powerful, all-knowing superior beings. And death is the ultimate destroyer of even the most powerful people. There is no getting around it. You’re going to die. And this puts narcissists on exactly the same playing field as everyone else. We are all equal, because we’re all mortal. This can be a difficult pill for narcissists to swallow. It means that for all their lies and exaggerations, pursuit of important positions, and general haughty behavior, all will be reduced to nothing when their death finally comes. This means that all of this narcissistic behavior was pointless. Death is a major fear for narcissists, and it’s something they often refuse to even accept.




*********I did not write this article, merely copied and pasted it from a forum***********

The Hunter and The Hunted

soundtrack

The Hunter And The Hunted

My skin is different from yours                                               

It glows in moonlight
And burns in noon day brightness;
And yours is brown and burnished and beautiful
(Even to the eyes of the vanquished.)

How many moons I have been enslaved,
I do not know
I am a servant here with gold pierced ears
And I never learned to read the scrolls
Not written on men’s hearts.

Your people take joy
In hunting the proud and free,
Of which I am a daughter
Though underneath the pinpoint of your stare,
I clinch my fists and keep my face downcast.

But in my soul,
I know you know
That I am running free beyond this desert,
Climbing mountains and wading streams
And fleeing from your dark and hungry eyes.

Silken veils and chains of silver,
They cannot make me cower at your feet
The voices of my fathers call out in my dreaming
Warn me of the darkness 
Of your rivers and desires.

And yet, sometimes,
When moonlight falls,
And midnight breezes play their songs,
The harshness of the desert fades
And this cool oasis bids me stay.

But my heart is hard of hearing
And though it sways me,
I will not bend or break my vows
And so I serve you and I curse you
Through many watches of the sun and stars.

You walk alone tonight beside the river
Behind the rushes, I watch you go
Into the trees with their black blankets
You’re just a man, I see, without your armor
How tall, yet small and lonely you seem to me.

Running now with feet of fire,
I hide in shadow as I pursue your presence
Stalking you as you walk in night shade, unaware
Seeking what my soul seeks
With cold, unfeeling steel clutched in my hand.

Hunting you,
I think how good it feels to run,
How sweet the night tastes on my homesick tongue,
How the tyranny of your beautiful people
Has spoiled the ancient purity of mine.

I will show no mercy (for none have you shown me)
Even as I danced for you in firelight,
Fed you from my finger tips in starlight
Toiled for you a thousand dawns of daylight
And never knew the tender touch of love.

Rising with the midnight moon,
A cry of anguish, startling as a storm
Keens and wails and stops me in my tracks,
Shakes me to the core in heart confusion,
Drops me to my knees upon the ground.

You lift your hands to Deity I know not
In a language I have not yet mastered,
And barely understand
Beyond the no’s and yes’s of my slave’s commandments
(For obedience cares not if you comprehend).

In breathless wonderment, we listen,
The Deity, the silent sky and I
To mournful pleas to be released from torment,
From longings of a heart, broken and torn
More puzzling still: My name upon your lips.

I can wait no longer, this I reckon
For soon your weakness will pass
And the man be gone and the tyrant arise
And I will be his slave forever
If freedom is my fortune, I will find it in your death.

Your head turns as I rush at you,
The silver blade gleaming, and a heart that pounds
With blood and fury and a thing so strange
That it trembles my upraised and uncertain hand
Glowing in moonlight as it falls upon your face.

You do not move, I do not move
And time stands still between us
A cry issues from a mouth and I swear I know not whose
The hunter and the hunted, caught in traps that they have laid,
I stand a victor looking down

Into your brown and hopeful eyes.

©by Voo
March 23, 09
2:20 a.m. 
face by Mark*

Things Narcissists Cannot Stand

Number 1:  Not Getting Enough Narcissistic Supply


If a narcissist is running low on supply, which means the attention that allows them to feel like they are significant and exist, then a gnawing emptiness and anxiety starts to bubble up from within them.

And, it is obvious. You will see the stark difference to when a narcissist is high as a kite with enough narcissistic supply (attention) to feed his or her insecure and demanding ego, and when he or she is not being fed supply how a darkness and moodiness becomes apparent.

This is the danger zone, where the narcissist can turn on you or must abandon the scene, escaping to access much-needed supply out in the world in an attempt to escape the self-annihilating inner feelings of the defective and deeply insecure Inner Being.

Number 2:  People Not Believing They Are an Authority

Narcissists need people to believe that they are special, talented and knowledgeable.
They can suffer big time narcissistic injury if someone who has more experience and knowledge than they do, enters a conversation.
They may try to take over and not let the other person speak or change the subject.
If this is not possible, they will leave. Then, of course, dismantle this person’s credibility afterwards.

Number 3:  You Being Happy

This is such a reminder to the narcissist that you are able to access and experience good feelings, whereas he or she feels dead on the inside.
This is an added insult to the narcissist if your good feelings are to do with someone or something other than the narcissist.
The narcissist believes that they should be the centre of your universe. And, how dare you be happy, when the narcissist can’t be.
He or she will do anything to take away your good feelings.

Number 4:  You Being Successful

As far as the narcissist is concerned, it is they who should be receiving all the acclaim, attention and accolades.
He or she is pathologically jealous and envious if you receive any recognition.
It is likely that you will be punished for taking away some of what narcissists need to survive – precious significance.

Number 5:  Others Being More Attractive Than Them

Narcissists, due to their delusional version of self, believe that they are the most desirable person going.
If someone else turns up commanding attention for their looks or personality, then the narcissist will be furious and will attempt to demean them as much as possible.
They may purposefully keep their partners away from such a person, because of their horrific insecurities.

Number 6:  Having Limits Imposed

Narcissists hate boundaries. They hate being told what to do, as they feel like this is intolerable control.
They like to be completely non-accountable to others. To be like a normal person feels like a terrible horror to them.
They are a law unto themselves. Narcissists believe they should be able to have what they want, when they want, how they want. And how dare anybody tell them any differently!

Number 7:  Being Questioned

The narcissist believes that he or she is beyond reproach.
How dare you question the narcissist in any shape or form? They believe that you are supposed to allow them to do whatever they want to do, without question.
If you do question a narcissist, which of course you will, then you will be met with extreme defence mechanisms, rage or abandonment.
A narcissist will not tolerate it, let alone meet you reasonably to work things out.

Number 8:  Being Exposed

If, when the narcissist tries to mess with you, you have healed yourself from any fear, guilt or terrors of persecution and just calmly and clearly bring facts to the table, it makes them incredibly uneasy.
This is especially true when you bring other people’s attention to the conversations and interactions.
A narcissist can’t mess with you unless you allow them to drag you into the shadows.
Once you stand tall and true and bring things out into the bright light of exposure, a narcissist will shrivel up as much as a vampire does when a big bright light is shone on them.

Number 9:  You Refusing to be Hoovered

When you know and hold your value, and no matter what the narcissist tries to do, you do not succumb and allow yourself to be narcissistic supply again – the narcissist will perceive it as a huge insult.
Why aren’t you caving in to the charms anymore?
Why do you believe you deserve better or that you can live without them?
All of these questions plague and haunt a narcissist horrifically, and strip them of their self-importance.

Number 10:  Being Ignored

There is an incredible ego injury that happens to a narcissist when he or she is ignored.
When you become “anti-fear” as a result of doing the work on your Inner Self to have zero emotional inner triggers, then you are no longer interested in the games, rubbish and power plays.
You will detach and refuse to feed them supply anymore.
Without your fear, anxiety and heartbreak as the energy to keep powering up and hurting you, the narcissist runs out of fuel.
He or she feels powerless and despises that you cannot be affected anymore. The narcissist will and must take their nastiness and manipulation to somebody else to get a feed.

Number 11: You Thriving

It is the greatest insult to a narcissist that you have been able to let go, rebuild your life, move on and create more success and happiness for yourself than you ever had previously.
The narcissist believes that you should have been forever affected, and completely devastated and desecrated for life. It makes him or her feel oh so important!



*************I did not write this article, merely copied it from a forum**************

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