Cowboys Fighting

I Wonder

I Wonder


I wonder if you're lying there
Miles from where my eyes can see
Lying in your bed alone
Thinking about me.

I wonder if you miss my smile
My soft beguiling voice
I wonder if you understand
That I didn't have a choice.

To let you go, to let you know
That some things had to change
Things that could only be fixed by you
If some things, you'd rearrange.

I didn't mean to hurt you
Or fill your life with strife
I only meant to love you
And bring joy to your life.

I only meant to share my self
Like I'd never shared before
You said it meant the world to you
Until you slammed the door.

And here I am and there you are
On opposite sides of the door
And I'm alone and you're alone
Just like we were before.

And the world's a duller, dimmer place
The stars don't shine as bright
The sun at dawn feels so forlorn
And each night's an endless night.

Those velvet nights we dreamed together
Now seem so far away
Lying in your lover's arms
Until the break of day.

How we used to talk about everything
Make a joke of anything
Share the music that we loved
Sometimes, I'd even sing.

And the poetry that flowed from us
Like a fountain from our souls!
I thought we shared our hearts and minds
I thought we shared our goals!!

But my goals were not your goals, it seems
You chose another path
A path that I could not walk with you
And it tore my heart in half.

That 'once in a lifetime' 'forever and always'
It was not meant to be
That one soul split in two and then
'We' became 'you' and 'me.'

But my arms still miss you in them
My lips still crave your kiss
My body burns for your tender touch
And your love, I'll always miss.

I wonder if you think of me
And remember how it was
Those things I said and did for you
And gave you, just because.

I wonder if you say my name
Sometimes in your sleep
Hold to me there in your dreams
That pull you down so deep.

I wonder if you feel me
Touching you sometime
Running my hands over you
Driving you out of your mind.

I wonder, how I wonder
If anything with us was real
Or if it was a spell that we were under
That made us feel the things we'd feel.

I couldn't be sure, I could never be sure
If what we had would last
Now the future that I dreamed with you
Is laying buried in the past.

Still alive, but just a ghost
A mirage that shimmers there
On a place that once was lush and green
Now a desert, dry and bare.

And all we have are memories
And words and poems and songs
That we can't bear to hear again
Now those right things turned to wrongs.

How fast can love turn into war
How quick the heart can shatter
How soon we grab what matters not
And let go the things that matter.

But in the midnight's lonely hours
When my mind is full of thunder
My heart tells my mind to be quiet
And it's then I lay and wonder.

And it's then I wish we could go back
To the way it was before
But neither of us seem to have the key
To that locked door anymore.

I wonder if you think of me
I wonder if you care
I wonder if you know my heart
Is always with you there.

I wonder..........................

©By Voo Shining Stone
spur of the moment write
July 21, 2020
12:53 a.m.

David of The Day

David of the Day

davids populate our myths

they fill legendary roles

davids slew the tall, tall titans

back in days of old.

davids climbed the mountains

davids rowed the seas

davids flew in skies of blue

and davids felled the trees.

davids wrote the poetry

davids sang the songs

davids filled our hearts with praise

made merry all day long.

davids made the history

I've studied my life through

and all of them have fascinated

but none, my friend, like you.

you are a man of much, much worth

that the world can't take away

I tip my hat and give my heart

to the David of the day.

©by Voo

March 26, 08

posted today for my dear friend, David Salinas

Insurmountable Odds

Insurmountable Odds

Against insurmountable odds he stands
A survivor in the wars of life
Expecting never to be whole again
Though he has crumbled in the stress and strife.

But in the fighting with and the fighting against
The giving up and the giving in
It's made him stronger, wiser and sweeter
And a better man than he might have been.

Losing sometimes gives you gains
Like gaining sometimes makes you lose
The things that mean the most to you
And often forces you to choose.

No one chooses to suffer loss
For eyes can't see the greater good
That often comes in the midst of hell
And makes us do that thing we should.

For wisdom comes with experience
And experience with pain
And heartache comes from reaching out
And love with reaching out again.

So the man stands there with smiling face
Wondering why he has not died
He doesn't see the strength I see
Living joyfully inside.

From life to death and back again
The journey inches onward
The trail gets cold, gets lost, grows old
But one day will point him homeward.

And all will be laid out to see
The Whys, the Whos, the Wheres
The insurmountable odds and the roads that were trod
And the treasures that wait for him there.

©by Voo

Jan 31, 2005

written in a dream last night,

typed out at 11:30 a.m.

Storm on the Tip of My Finger

STorm On THe TiP oF My FInGeR

Rage flashed through me like a river overflowing it's bounds

The rage of life that sometimes takes me when I least expect it

The rage of love that carries me away like an unmoored boat on a defiant tide

And breaks me there upon the rocks, unmercilessly pounding and pounding

Until I disintegrate into shards of heart and mind and soul

It caught me just now and blew me away with it's ferociousness

I wanted to hate something but I didn't know what to hate

I wanted to kill something but I didn't know what to kill

I wanted to love somebody but I didn't have anybody to love

I never felt so alone.

For some crazy reason, I flashed back to Christmas time

And the wreaths that hung upon the door and the holly in the window

And the caroles filling the kitchen air like the flour from the cookie dough

The soft, sweet smell of pinetree wafting through my impatient dreams

As I slept, one eye open, for the first crack of sunlight to beckon me down to paradise

Then I found out there was no such thing as Santa and I haven't trusted a damn thing

Anybody's ever told me since! 

There wasn't any Easter Bunny either and no Tooth Fairy and no Thanksgiving Turkey

(Well, there was a thanksgiving turkey but everything else was a pack of lies!

I get so tired of being lied to. Don't people get tired of lying?

That girl promised me we'd be together and love each other and hold each other

In the midst of the baddest storms and nothing could ever change that

And nothing did. She just stopped loving me and walked away. And what could I say?

Oh, I see? It's Christmas time all over again, right? Just another myth and fable to fill 

Up the hearts of the innocent to make them feel special and not forgotten.

It was a Lie!

And now this lie that makes all over lies pale in comparison!

 The ultimate lie. The lie of love.

But no matter, I'm over it. It's done. Finished. Everything's all under control now. Calm.

But the rage came again today and covered me in memories and mistletoe 

And kisses in the snow

I wish it'd let me go. Just let me go for as I type this,

 I feel a storm beginning in my fingertip and I

try to hold it back but all I really want to do is point it at the world
 And burn it down like it's burned

Me down for years. The storm rages on and I let it lead me and I follow.
 I don't know where it's taking me but I'm going. 

Maybe I'll just put it in your face and let you feel the terror 
I feel now that I am alone and unloved. Maybe that's all I'll do.
 Just put that bad boy in your face and say "See! See what you did!

Then I'll walk away and keep walking till the rage runs out
 And I feel ok again and I'l go home and sit down

And be myself until the next time that I think of you
 Or Santa or the Tooth Fairy and how I fell for all that.

I don't know.The rage knows. The finger knows.
 The finger with the storm brewing in it's tip. Lightning flashing 

Like a hurricane on the ocean. But it's just emotion.
 And It doesn't hurt anyone but me.

©by Voo Shining Stone

 sept 15, 05

 3 a.m
for Mark