Revelation
Standing there at the corner of 3rd and Main today, I had a revelation
It burst upon my shattered mind and war torn soul like the sun coming up
Over the Rocky Mountains
Or the tides of the Atlantic Ocean hitting New England in October
A revelation............
Standing there gazing up at the azure blue sky and the flashing DON'T WALK sign
Hypnotizing me into zombie somnambulism, I began to walk into oncoming traffic
As a dozen cars and their impatient drivers honked and screamed
"You idiot! Watch where you're going!" Honk. Honk. Scream. Scream.
I waited for the crash that never came
And found myself on the other side of the crossing safe and sound
But lost in the relevance of the revelation
A blind man with a white cane rounded the corner and whistled
And motioned for an invisible seeing eye dog that never came either
And I had a sudden ache in my heart for him because I realized
That he had forgotten that his dog was no longer there.
A flower vendor selling tulips and star gazer lilies caught my eye
And I walked over and bought a Stargazer on impulse
And thrust it into the startled blind man's hands, saying "I know you can't see this
But it's beautiful and I want you to have it."
Then hustled away when I saw a tear begin to fall down that leathery face
From behind his dark glasses. "It's a Stargazer, right?" he called to my back
And clutched the flower to his lean chest as I hurried away,
Softened by unexpected emotion.
The revelation kept rising up in me like a well too full of water and at the same time
Gave me visions of an old hotel wired for implosion and imminent devastation
Boom! Boom! Rumbling like a subway car in the belly of New York
Boom! Va-Room! in the dark or a silver jet streaking across the midnight sky.
Instead of going to my dead end job, I found myself entering the downtown city park
To find the worn bench where I used to sit and feed the pigeons
And listen to erstwhile musicians and small time hustlers running their mind games
Looking for instant fame and fortune in someone else's pockets
Where I had lain in the grass sometimes, arms folded behind my head,
Watching for animal shapes in the clouds and dreaming of yesterdays
And tomorrow mornings
Dreaming of revelations that never came and that I had long since given up
On ever getting. Always questioning and never getting answers.
Never getting answered. Never getting noticed by man nor God.
But ever always questioning.
My bench was occupied by a little old man and woman dispensing day old bread
To greedy birds and shooing away devious squirrels who looked more intelligent
Than most of the park's noon time visitors
I was momentarily disappointed and turned to walk away, perhaps to discover
An undiscovered bench somewhere and stake my claim on it, knowing that it
Could never really feel like my old bench, like mine.............
"Excuse me!" the lady called out to me as I hunched my shoulders and began
To hike down the trail edged with carefully planted daffodils
And the odd purple unidentified flower. "This is your bench." she said as I looked back
Over my shoulder in restrained wonder. "Isn't it? We were saving it for you."
"Saving it for me?" I asked, repeating the phrase like the human parrot that I was
"Why would you save it for me?" Kind of disdainful like......
Walking back towards the bench and the beaming old couple sitting there
Surrounded by pigeons and squirrels, I put my hands in my pants pockets
And stood there staring at people I'd never seen before in my life but people
Who felt oddly familiar. "Do I know you?" I finally asked and met the woman's gaze
With a defiant but weakening glare. "No, but we know you, dear."
She said sweetly, then, "You've had a revelation today, haven't you?"
"M-me?" I stuttered and threw my head back to get the hair out of my eyes
"How did you know about that?"
"Oh, we know." she said and briefly touched the arm of her elderly companion
And they smiled at one another in a way I've never seen two people smile.
"We've been sent to bring you your answers." "My answers?" I almost shouted
And felt a thrill go through me like a kid on Christmas morning
Opening up the box of his dreams. "For real?" I whispered
And began to tremble and melt and rise up and fall down
And soar and expand and die and be born again in an instant
That seemed to go on forever
I became and decreased, gathered strength and released
All at the same time, flashing through time backwards and forwards, falling and flying
Dead as a stump but more alive than I have ever felt in my whole life!
And then, before my jaded eyes, I saw the little old couple begin to glow
With an otherworldly countenance.
Seeing but not believing but believing anyway, I reached out to touch them
But couldn't seem to make contact with any earthly flesh
"Soon." they said to me in unison and bestowed upon me the most magical
And marvelous of promises emanating from eyes
That could have only come from Heaven. "Soon." they said
And vanished from the bench, seemingly unnoticed
By the hundreds of other unlucky ones who could not see
"Wow!" I said and collapsed upon the bench
Reveling in the strange power that flowed from it's rough planks
Into every fiber of my being. Love like I have never known it before
Rippled through me, up me, down me and all around me, cascading like fireworks
And dissolving me into helpless tears. Washing me like a hot bath
And like fire on a potter's plate. Refining fire and water. "Wow." I repeated
And sat back, unable to move my arms and legs and not really caring
If I ever moved again. The world around me disappeared
With all it's noise and confusion, cynicism and scorn
Taking it's cold evil tentacles out of my heart and out of my mind
Where they had always been. I felt the world release me. I felt free. I felt loved.
My earlier revelation had been a veil falling down from my eyes.
Blind eyes opened at last, seeing Truth and knowing I was different
Now knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that God was real
He had sent His angels
My answers had come................
©Voo
December 24, 2004
12:30-2 a.m.
copyrighted
I think the longing for answers is in all of us. I would like to believe they WILL come. Good one, Voo....uplifting.
ReplyDeletethank you. I'm so glad I found this on an old laptop. I always felt it was special. It gives me chills
DeleteAmazing!!
ReplyDelete"Come to Me all of you who are burdened and heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take My yoke upon you, and learn of Me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and you shall find rest unto your souls."
Matthew 11:28-29
This passage always softens my heart! When I need it most!