The Blue Vineyard Of Voo Shining Stone: Laugh dammit!!!!

Wednesday, July 8, 2020

Laugh dammit!!!!

Why People Come Into Our Lives and other funny things

Crap Happens

Just when things are going nice

Comes some yahoo to take a slice

Of your little pie without permission

And then you cry but learn a lesson

And then next day the same ole thing

Comes bouncing down and takes a swing

And knocks your joy right in the dirt

And you get up and hide the hurt

And life goes on as life it does

Your chewing gum gets dropped in fuzz

The devil visits when you are nappin'

But what the hey....you know, crap happens.

by Voo

Sad But True

Sad but true
What shall we do?
When the money's all gone
We'll cry boo hoo.

Sad but true
Where will we go?
We can't make cookies
Without some dough.

Sad but true
When will we learn?
We'll freeze too death
While Washington burns.

Sad but true
Those turkeys need stuffin'
I'd sell myself
But I ain't worth nothin'.

©voo
Oct 18, 08

The Hillbilly Boogie Man Leaves Home

Cleanin' my ears with a chicken leg
And munchin' on a piece of chalk
I talked myself into standing up
And takin' myself fer a walk.

Now I'd been sittin' there in the shade
For nigh on fifteen years
Chewin' on snakes till my belly would ache
And drinkin' jars full of rain and tears.

The old junk car that I leaned on
Was rusted beyond repair
But she was fine once upon a time
Before she was junked out there.

Now for company I will whistle
And for dinner I will beg
But if you don't talk right, I'll put out your lights
With my fists and my wooden leg.

Now my ole lady done run right off, see
Back in 1942
With the peddling feller by the name of Teller
And that's why I sing the blues.

I cannot work, I cannot plow
I used to hunt but I can't hunt now
I used to fish but I lost my pole
And my worms fell into a crawdad hole.

I used to dance, I used to sing
But I'm useless now, can't do a thing
But moan and groan and lay about
And wait for the hillbilly ghosts to come out.

And then we boogie
Till the cows come home
And it never stops
Cause the cows are gone.

We howl at the moon
And fiddle and pick
And dance with partners
Made out of sticks.

We drink moonshine
From little brown jugs
And rap a little
Like we is thugs.

Then mornin comes
And they go away
And I just lay here
All damn day.

Chewin' on snakes
And drinkin' my tears
And the people pass me
Concerned and afeared.

They look at me crazy
Like they think I'm a haint
And touched in the noggin
But I know I aint.

I see hillbilly ghosties
Even if they don't see
And the rednecks come riding
And a visitin' me.

But today I'm a walkin'
And a leavin' this place
And a goin' to somewheres
Where they don't know my face.

Long years I've been settin'
Neath this old cedar tree
Awaitin' my true love
To come back to me.

But she aint a comin'
I reckon she's dead
At least, in her last letter
That's whut she said.

So I'm a waitin' no longer
I'm leavin' my tree
And lookee there back a yonder
The car's a follering me.......

And The Cow Did Not Jump Over The Moon

The moon is made of cheese, they said
When I was just a tot
And so I dreamed of lovely things
For we didn't have a lot.

The cow jumped over the moon, they said
In my fairy story book
And I believed everything I was told
And I thought I'd take a look.

So I crept out to the barn one night
And saddled up the cow
We're flying to the moon, I said
(But I know better now.)

How I got that cow up on that barn
I'll never, ever know
But she was willing and I was silly
And she jumped when I said, Go!

A pig pen is a nasty place
Full of slime and sleaze
We gave it a try but the cow couldn't fly
And I didn't get no cheese.

By Little VooVoo
July 15, 07

My Boys......Sherlock and Watson!!!