Voo Goes To Australia For a Wild Weekend with Rusky
~~~~~~~~~a collab gone horribly wrong~~~~~~~~~~
"Row, row row your boat"
"Row, row. row your bo....."
Voo, said Rusky in exasperation,
If you sing that damned song just one more time....!
And I said, Well, what song do you want me to sing?!
And he said, Well, you remember that old song by Exile
Called, "I Wanna Kiss You All Over?"
I want you to sing that.
And I said, No, Rusky, I will not
You might take it personally
And Ru said, That I will, that I will
'Cause I wrote that song.
And I said, Oh, you did not!
You've just got sex on the brain!
And he said, Well, I've got to have it some place!
Cause to my body it's just a faded memory.........
So I started singing, "I Wanna Kick You All Over"
And Rusky cried, You're doing that on purpose!
Why won't you ever co-operate with me?
And I giggled, Well, I wouldn't want to confuse you.
So we compromised and played checkers
Until I got bored and fell asleep atop a red King
Voo, said the rusty one, Wake up, Princess
You're giving me a complex!
You're too simple to have a complex, I said
And he grinned and poured alcohol into a test tube
What are you doing? I asked wide eyed and he said,
It's a lil experiment I like to call Binging the Jekyll.
Burp.......
And everything was fine until he put on a record
And started dancing
Well, kind of dancing, more like graceful seizures
Choreographed to music.
Here, let me take pictures, I said
We can send it to myspace or the book of faces
Or that new place I'm on called
Spontaneous-Human-Acquaintance-Combustion
I mean, Friendburst.
So He put socks on his ears and shaved his feet
And we took photographs
And photo shopped them until they looked lovely
And then we sent them to everyone in his email address book.
Later, we got nasty emails from Tony Blair,
Lady GaGa and The White House Chief of Staff
And one long, incomprehensible one from Charlie Sheen
Who asked Rusky to join him on tour in Cleveland.
I don't know, Rusky, I said when he asked about that one
I think you're infamous enough already
And he lit his eyebrows on fire and laughed maniacally
Ya think? Baby, I got insanity that ain't been used yet!
I came up with the idea of doing an Indian Rain Dance
But he said, Whoa, hold up there, VooVoo
We've had so much rain over here, dontcha know
That the Aussies might not take too kindly to that.
So I discarded that idea
And sat at his feet and started chanting
What are you doing? he asked cleaning out his Inbox
And I said, Clean out your fridge while you're at it.
I'm going on a 'Vision Quest', I said chanting again
You wanna come along? and he quickly concurred
Here, eat this, I said and handed him something
And much to my surprise, he swallowed it down.
Three days later, the police got him off the roof.....
It took a swat team and a hypodermic to get him into the van
And a whole team of doctors and fourteen big aides
And a long legged redhead led him into a cell.
What can I say? He was having a good time
Rusky, I said, I've come to tell you goodbye, love
I've got to get back home to the States and all that
And he broke free of the jacket and gave me a hug.
You know I love you, he said and coughed
And one day I'm gonna hunt you down and.......
But then he screamed and scampered away,
Ran up the wall and swung from the bars by his toes.
Don't leave me, Voo!!!! he pleaded as I stared
And I shook my head and marched out of the cell
What'd you give that guy? The armed guards asked me, grinning
Whatever it was made that bloke's life purely Hell!
Oh, give me a break! I said, walking away
And hurried off to my plane
I only gave Rusty a chewed piece of gum,
He was already insane.............
a collab by Rusky and Voo
except without Rusky.......
who was too busy to get back to me
so I wrote it without him.........
So there.
©Voo
April 9, 2011
The Infamous Rusty/Rusky of Oz
Designer of Ear Socks and Jazzy Fashions for the Insane
(and a lousy Checkers player)
Kiss You All Over by Exile
Land Down Under by Men at Work
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