Alas! I am undone! I said
You've snared me in your arms
You've caught me and I have acquiesced
To the magnetic pull of your charms.
For your eyes have caressed me
All night as I danced
And drawn me here now
To the thrill of romance.
Take off your mask!
You said in my ear
And I had refused
As though I couldn't hear
And my hair hid me further
As it tumbled and fell
And you grasped me
And pulled me and I tumbled as well.
You danced me down the corridor
As the the musicians softly played
Pulled me into a room and locked the door
I do not know you, sir, I said
I was breathless, pale and frightened
But I did not want to go
I wanted to know why I wanted you
A total stranger I did not know.
Oh, but you do! You whispered
You just don't remember yet
So many times we've played this game
And you always do forget.
For I have visited you often
In visions and in dreams
Written you sonnets and letters
And songs that you could sing.
Painted you landscapes
And roses, it's true
And thousands of portraits
My love, all of you.
I do not know you, sir, I don't
I've never seen your face
Though there is something in your eyes,
Your voice, that I can't place.
Take off your mask? I asked of him
But he just bowed his head
Then all the light fled from his eyes
And looked at me, cold and dead.
I pulled away but he pursued
Took me by the hand
Pulled me tight against his chest
And the battle then began
I fought to keep my dignity
Though my dignity had gone
And when his lips trailed down my neck
I knew I stood alone.
Who are you, sir? I begged of him
My head against his shoulder
My heart was racing, my blood was pumping
And he grew even bolder
I am he, he said, He whom you love
And have for all of time
How can that be? I laughed, kissing him
And his mouth tasted just like wine.
And then I twirled and pushed him away
Ran to the fireplace and cried
You are mad! I exclaimed, You are mad and mistaken!
I do not know you, sir! You've lied!
You will see me again! he said, coming toward me
Pulled me against him, kissed me hard on the lips
And my body betrayed me and pushed in to his
And a strange thrusting motion took over my hips.
What am I doing? I cried aloud
What is this thing you've done to me?
I know no man, nor have I kissed one!
(You are not blind but you cannot see.)
He said in answer,
Striding toward the door
Then bowed and left me
Alone once more.
I waited minutes, then an hour
I waited for what, I did not know
I collapsed in tears upon the rug
And then at last, I rose to go
The ball was ending, the sun was rising
My father's coach waited at the door
I looked around to see the stranger
But his presence was not there anymore.
Then we drove away
As darkness was dying
While the orchestra still played
In the pale morning light
I hugged myself, smiling
As we left it behind us
And I danced to the music
Floating there in the night.
Sad days passed and long, lonely nights full of writhing
Of sleeplessness, fear and my poor heartache's pain
I wrote some letters, made some quiet inquiries
And longed to feel his mouth kiss me again.
But there was nothing and no one knew of him
The handsome man with whom I'd danced
My friends were giddy and hid their laughter
And teased me about my 'great romance'.
Then one night he visited me in a dream
A dream so sweet and yet so strange
He looked so different and yet I knew him
And he held me close and spoke my name.
You are mine, he said, and always will be
Promise you'll wait till you see me again
Promise me this, that you'll remember my kiss
And give your sweet love to no other man.
And I promised him that
And I promised him always
As he touched me and kissed me
All night till the dawn.
And we couldn't hold back
As we gave in to passion
But when morning came calling
He was already gone.
I saw him no more for many a year
At no ball or hall or even in dreams
And he slipped out of my faulty memory at last
And into realms of pure fantasy, or so it seems.
As I grew up from girl to woman
And then to lady who should be wed
I wanted to share my heart with someone
And share my life and share my bed.
My friends all married and moved away
Each with their dream and life and plan
My parents pushed me out into society
And bade me go, find myself a man.
But there was no one to catch my eye
No one to make my heart beat fast
I teased and taunted men I never wanted
And played at love that would not last.
And then one day as I arrived home
Arms full of packages from my many trips
A tall handsome stranger with deep dark eyes
Grabbed me and kissed me upon my lips
Unhand me, sir! I shouted, fearful
My packages flying, I failed to see
Who could be so bold to assault a lady
And then he laughed and said, It's me.
That voice, that voice! I knew that voice!
Those eyes so merry and full of light
But I was confused for no stranger stood there
But the man I had loved in my dreams one sweet night.
Do I know you, sir? I asked him, puzzled
Oh yes, you do! he shook his head
I danced with you at a long ago ball
But the man that I was then is long gone and dead.
How can that be? I scoffed at his fable
You are standing here talking this fine August morn!
And he sighed and he told me the strangest thing yet
For the love of you, I will always be ever reborn.
And we shared our lives and loved each other
Inseparable for many years
We had our good times and our bad times
We had our laughter and our tears.
Then one sad, sad day, he had to leave me
And he flew away then like the wind
I held him tightly till he said, Let go, love
One day I'll find your face again.