LOOKING FOR THE MAN WHO RAN

Looking For The Man Who Ran

The stars were so bright

And the moon so full

I swear I could see the cactus

Moving surreptitiously

Across the red desert floor.

One last bite of hard bread

One sip of lukewarm water

A bit of prayer

And I snuggled down against the cold.

The neighing of the horse

Woke me from a dreamless sleep

And I lay there underneath the sky

And thought about your face.

Traveling’s never brought me

Closer to you

Searching has never taken me

To the place to which you ran.

But I keep riding

I keep looking and I keep hoping

Up every steep green mountain

Down every low lonely valley.

They say you killed a man for me

But I don’t know

I’ve never looked at other men

Though maybe some have looked at me.

There’s never been room inside my soul

For anyone else but you

And your quiet ways

And your laughing eyes and quick hands.

The horse looks at me with pity

Turns his back and flicks his tail

He knows I’m thinking about you again

And he’s sorry he woke me.

A soft cool wind sweeps by, caresses my skin

And I burrow deeper into the blanket

And fall back to sleep

Dreaming that I hear footsteps

Walking toward me in the starlight.

©by Voo

June 9, 2007

1:30 a.m.

FOOLS ON A GRAY AUTUMN DAY

Fools On A Gray Autumn Day


Standing here in the silence of a gray, lackluster day
We briefly glance into somber eyes, then turn and look away
You clear your throat and smooth your coat
Your body blocks the sun
I wait to hear your footsteps retreat; I expect to hear them run
But they don't walk and you don't talk
No words spill from your mouth
But heartbeats break the silent roar
That the heart cannot pour out.

Your big hand reaches for my small
That's buried in my pocket
And with the other I undo the clasp
On the sterling silver locket
That holds the picture of the love we shared until today
I put it in your empty hand and still I do not say
Unsaid words that serve no purpose; for they cannot change a thing
And the unshed tears bring no release but blind us by their sting.

Goodbye, it is a joke and lie, it expresses no sincere thought
For what is good about the bye? Just another moment bought
An autumn leaf falls on your shoulder from an almost barren tree
And I think the bright red leaf is you and the barren tree is me
We watch a V formation of snow geese on the wing
Flying through the skies above to find another Spring.

One last throat clearing, one last hand clasp
Your lips meet mine once more and last
The saddest smile I've ever seen touches your eyes with tearbright gleam
Hands pull apart, eternity ends
Eyes close on memories of there and then
We walk in different directions now and don't look back, somehow, somehow.

The tears held back, now fall like rain down heartbroken faces that drown in pain
And each, we shout  unsaid words then and hear them stolen by the thieving wind
At the edge of the park, I think I'll turn to see if you're there ( I never learn))
I pray that you're running on swift feet to me but I never turn and I never see
And you walk on toward the ocean of blue
And wonder if I am now running toward you.

Your heart beating fast as the locket you grasp
With it's picture of you and of me
But I'm walking and crying and waiting for you to follow
As the locket is thrown into the sea.

© by Voo
November 19, 2005
3 p.m.

Storm on the Tip of My Finger

STorm On THe TiP oF My FInGeR

Rage flashed through me like a river overflowing it's bounds

The rage of life that sometimes takes me when I least expect it

The rage of love that carries me away like an unmoored boat on a defiant tide

And breaks me there upon the rocks, mercilessly pounding and pounding

Until I disintegrate into shards of heart and mind and soul

It caught me just now and blew me away with it's ferociousness

I wanted to hate something but I didn't know what to hate

I wanted to kill something but I didn't know what to kill

I wanted to love somebody but I didn't have anybody to love

I never felt so alone.

For some crazy reason, I flashed back to Christmas time

And the wreaths that hung upon the door and the holly in the window

And the carols filling the kitchen air like the flour from the cookie dough

The soft, sweet smell of pine tree wafting through my impatient dreams

As I slept, one eye open, for the first crack of sunlight to beckon me down to paradise.

Then I found out there was no such thing as Santa

 And I haven't trusted a damn thing anybody's ever told me since! 

There wasn't any Easter Bunny either and no Tooth Fairy and no Thanksgiving Turkey

(Well, there was a thanksgiving turkey but everything else was a pack of lies!)

I get so tired of being lied to. Don't people get tired of lying?

That girl promised me we'd be together and love each other and hold each other

In the midst of the baddest storms and nothing could ever change that

And nothing did. 

She just stopped loving me and walked away. And what could I say?

Oh, I see! It's Christmas time all over again, right?

 Just another myth and fable to fill up the hearts of the innocent 

To make them feel special and not forgotten

It was a Lie!

And now this lie that makes all other lies pale in comparison! 

The ultimate lie. The lie of love

But no matter, I'm over it. It's done. Finished.

 Everything's all under control now. Calm.

But the rage came again today and covered me in memories and mistletoe

 And kisses in the snow

I wish it'd let me go. Just let me go for as I type this, 

I feel a storm beginning in my fingertip and I

Try to hold it back but all I really want to do is point it at the world

 And burn it down like it's burned me down for years

 The storm rages on and I let it lead me and I follow

 I don't know where it's taking me but I'm going. 

Maybe I'll just put it in your face 

And let you feel the terror I feel now that I am alone And unloved.

 Maybe that's all I'll do.

 Just put that bad boy in your face and say "See! See what you did!"

Then I'll walk away and keep walking till the rage runs out and I feel ok again

 And I'll go home and sit down

And be myself until the next time that I think of you or Santa or the Tooth Fairy 

And how I fell for all that......

I don't know. The rage knows. The finger knows.

 The finger with the storm brewing in it's tip. Lightning flashing 

Like a hurricane on the ocean. But it's just emotion.

 And It doesn't hurt anyone but me.

Sept 15, 05 

3 a.m. 

©by Voo

for Mark

AND I SEZ, BABY

And I Sez, Baby…………….

So I’m settin’ in ma pickup truck

Tha fancy new ‘un I picked up last Sundy

Off an unattended lot

Eatin’ a hot Mary Calendar’s Turkey Pot Pie

Fresh outta tha microwave

That I done run a long cord from to the carport

Of a house that’s dark

Cause the owners done gone to town fer a bit

And my taste buds are a lovin’ it

And I’m a lookin’ for the salt shaker

Shaped like a crowin’ rooster

When I looks over at my baby

And I sez, Baby, what say we hit tha road

And ease on down to N’awlins

And go dancin’ on Burbon Street

And git our fortunes tole?
I thank I see us a gas can a'settin' over thar
By tha shed. I betcha it's full.

Whatchoo say, Baby?

And Baby, she sez,

(Stretched out somewheres

Between tha seat and tha steering wheel

With her feet out tha window

And her long red hair almost in my pie,

She’s a swattin’ mosquitoes

And wrigglin like a crawdad in a crawdad hole)

And she sez: Now, Rascal.……

We don’t have ta go nowheres like Burbon Street

To do no dancin’

Y’know we gots a whole bottle a’ Jim Beam

Up under tha seat……..

And I kin tell ya right now whut your fortune is

And that is that, you ain’t got no fortune

Cause you done spent it all

On that stupid Mar-ee Call-an-dar Pot Pie

Back yonder at that grocery store!

And she sets up and puts her face out tha winder

And turns her back to me and sighs

And I go on and finish my store bought pie

And takes me a big drank a’ grape Kool-aid

(That we done made in a Ziplock bag)

I wipes my mouth with tha back of my hand,

Throw tha pie carton and tha spork out in tha bushes

And I taps her on tha shoulder and I sez:

Hell, Baby, what you want from me?

Don’t I provide you with a roof and a shelter?

Don’t I steal or kill enough fer us to eat on

When we’s hongry?

Don’t I love you enough fer twelve men?

Don’t I sing you to sleep ever night

And keep tha mosquitoes off ye part of tha time?

Don’t I give you back massages while you drive?

Don’t I take ya places and show ya thangs

And give ya an excitin’ life?

What more do you want from me, woman?

I mean…… Hell Far, Baby!

And she’s quiet-like fer a spell

So I go on and pull tha lectrical cord

Out the outlet and roll it up and put it away

And put tha Kool-aid in tha ice chest

With tha orange popsicles and tha cheese and baloney

(Dadgum, a man gits tired a cheese and baloney all tha time!

Sometimes he wants a good hot dinner

Like Turkey Pot Pie er somethin, for cryin’ out loud!)

I make sure no body’s lookin’ and I hightail it across tha road

And swipe that red gas can which turns out ta be full

And I put it under tha tarp with tha microwave

And tha television and various and sundry other necessities

And gits back in tha truck.

Let’s git on outta here while tha gittin’s good, I sez

And she starts tha truck and we vamoose down that dirt road

Doin’ forty mile a hour till we hit tha county line

And kin breathe a little easier…………

Finally, she slows down and turns ta me and sez:

Look, Rascal, look, lord knows I love ye and everthang

But sakes alive, man, I’m a grown woman and I have needs!

I needs me a nest and a place ta call mine and everthang

I can’t be a livin’ in no ole truck tha rest of my life!

You hear what I’m sayin?

And I nod ma head and look out tha winder

And I sez: Yeah, I hear ya, girl, I hear ya

I just don’t know whut to tell ya right now

Seeing as how I am financially humiliated at tha moment

And ain’t got no fortune as you has already pointed out ta me

Just as clear and plain as tha nose on my face,

But I promise ya, I will find a way ta work thangs out

Just as soon as I kin find a way ta work thangs out!

Meantime, let’s us just head on down ta Louisiana

And see what the Good Lord has in store fer us thar

And I will see whut me and Him can come up with. Alright?

And she sez, Alright and we head on down tha road.

She drives all night while I sleep

And then tha next day I sleep all day while she drives

And between tha two of us

We gits all tha way down into Cajun country

Where we stop and hunt craw fish and squirrel and camp out and barbecue

And have us a dandy high ole time

Dancing to Zydeco music on tha radio

And drankin’ Jim Beam and grape Kool-Aid

(But not together, lordy, no, not together!)

And I look at her a smilin’ in tha sunshine

And gettin’ tipsy on Beam

And I gits me an idea.

Tha next three days I let her sleep

While I drive

(Which I don’t like to do

Cause I ain’t got no driver’s license)

(And no permit, neither)

But I figure nobody does down in tha bayou country

Lord only knows. I don’t know

But I keeps my eyes open and my head clear

And I prays fer guidance…………….

Bright and early on Thursday mornin’

Baby wakes up cause she been real tired

From our big night on tha town

And she stretches and yawns

Like a yeller cat a wakin’ in tha sunlight

And she looks around and she looks around

And rubs her purty eyes and frowns

And she sez: Rascal, where are we?!

And I’m a standin’ there by tha side of tha bed

Just a smilin’ and a grinnin’

Happy as a hound dog with supper up a tree

And I look down at her

And I sez: Welcome home, Baby Bird

I done got you a permanent nest!!

And she’s so excited and happy

And takes off a runnin’ round tha whole house

Lookin’ into thangs and openin’ doors

And a squealin and a hollerin’ to beat all heck

Then she goes to tha kitchen

And looks at tha sink full a dirty dishes

And looks in tha closet full a ball caps and overalls

And sees Pabst Blue Ribbon beer cans

Throwed up all behind tha couch

And a autographed picture of Doug Kershaw

Up on tha wall over tha tv set

And she comes over and stands thar, hands on her hips

Lookin’ at me like she ain’t never seen me before

And she sez: Rascal, whut in tha Sam Hill have you done?!

I got you a home, Baby! I stammer out, all bumfuzzled

My lips a’ quiverin’ like a little ole baby’s

I made all yore dreams come true

Just like you asked me ta do! I done done it!

Me and you’s can settle down now

And have ourselves that big famly yur hankerin’ fer

And we can do all tha thangs you said you wanted ta do

But right now, Baby, we gots to go………

Y’all git on back in tha bed now

And I’ll take care a everthang, you’ll see!

And I tucks her in and tells her ta hush

And I go outside and close tha door

And gits in ma truck that is hitched up to tha trailer house

And I pull us off tha shady creek bank

And out up onto tha highway a headin’ back towards Arkansas.

And that is how

I ended up a deevorced man

Wanted only by the po-lice

With no wife and no future

Just a pickup truck full a microwaves and television sets,

Three ice chests full of Mary Calendar’s pies,
A hound dog I picked up somewheres ta keep me compny
And a fairly nice trailer house full a somebody 
Else's stuff

That I had hitched up to tha back of tha pickup

Down in Louisiana, just this side of N’awlins
'Bout six month ago in tha middle of tha night

Right after I had took my baby to Burbon Street
And let her git her fortune tole…….

Ain’t no need fer me ta tell you fellers

That that thar fortune from that ole fortune teller

With her shiny gold tooth and her big empty hand

Was not no where in my favor

No siree.

Dadgummit!!

Hell Far and Damnation!!!!

©by Voo

Dec 9, 2012

8:06 p.m.