I ALWAYS FALL FOR THE VILLAINS

I Always Fall For The Villains

What is it about bad boys
That makes me go weak in the knees?
What is wrong with me?
Why can't I fall for someone nice
And stable and ordinary?
Why do I go for the villains
And anti-heroes
And the jerks who treat me like dirt?
And why do they fall for me?

I'm a nice girl
I'm sweet and romantic 
And kind
I'm thoughtful and helpful,
Generous, unselfish,
Soft hearted and soft bodied
With a mind like a sieve
My heart falls off my sleeve
Cause that's where I keep it
And it frequently ends up
Under bus wheels or trains
Or under some guy's steel toed boot.

If I have the choice
Between some nice normal guy
And some motorcycle, leather-clad
Angel from the Bad Place
Which one do you think I choose?
Huh?
I think we know the answer
To that one
(Actually, I choose Guy # 3)
The wolf-in-sheep's-clothing
That you never see coming,
The one that appears like an angel
And turns out to be a devil in disguise.

My taste in men
Is questionable
That's a known fact
Friends shake their heads
And say, "What do you see in that guy?"
And I have no good answer
I let my heart lead me
And my heart is stark raving insane
It doesn't have a clue
It just wants what it wants
And apparently,
It has a death wish.

One day, I hope to marry
But I'll probably have to go
Off planet 
To find a suitable partner
That can meet all of my specifications,
Qualities and requirements
He'll have to be exceptional,
Good-looking, funny, smart,
Poetic, passionate, spontaneous
And crazy
(Oh, yeah.......
And have a handwritten note
From God.)

Otherwise,
I will remain, unattached
As they say
Whoever they are
While at the same time,
Attaching myself to the underdogs
And rebels w/or/w/out causes,
The class of men who
Ultimately have no class
But are so very able and willing
To hide that fact
For long periods of time
Until they are sure 
That I have fallen madly in love
And no longer have need of my mind.

I am such a loser
No, seriously, I am
You wouldn't know it
To look at me
You wouldn't know it
To talk to me
You probably wouldn't ever know it
Unless I told you about it
Like I'm doing now
Like the dope that I am
There's such a thing
As being too honest, I guess
Right?
Right.

I've broken the hearts
Of a lot of good men
Men who adored me
And desired me like candy
(Or crack cocaine)
Men who thought 
I was the wildest, most exciting girl
That they'd ever met
And they were right
But what they didn't know
But soon came to know,
Is that I can't fall in love
 with the guys in white hats,
I am a villain
And an angel in disguise

What is wrong with me?!
Good Lord, what is wrong with me?!

©by Voo
June 20, 2011

      Somewhere Down The Crazy River
     by Robbie Robertson