Imagine Richard Pryor saying this as the old man..........
Poem Off The Top
Don't go there.
It's dangerous.
"LECTRIC wires and such
danglin'
janglin' like coins on a dead man's eyes.
you say you want a revolution?
then don't talk about it....................
Go out and dingdang do it!!!
Revolve.
Dance like the devil is watchin'
And tryin' to steal your steps.
Shake your fist in his face and say, Shoo!
LISTEN. I used to be a ballet dancer in a freakish side show
They made us pirouette 24/7
till our toes turned into granite and then fell off
(It was beautiful but it was no fun).
Papa was a rollin' stone
But Mama was made outta moss
Hence: No Body in our house was happy.
Use to, things were like they were s'post to be, y' know?
Nowadays, nothin' works til technicians come out and charge you fifty-five dollars an hour and then it breaks down again just as soon as
they get in their Geek Squad cars and drive away. GEEK cars, ain't that what they call 'em? Geek cars!!
More like freak cars!!
Life is a cabaret, my friend.
Only, Judy Garland is dead and gone
and nobody can sing torch songs no more
Songs are illustrated by pyROtechNeeks and laser lights
And you really can't tell if they on key or not
Lawd knows I'd like to take a dang torch to most of 'em!
I'm just settin' here in this here swing
On my porch, observin', mindin' my own dang business
And you little punk, hop hip, hippity hop, Milk Dud snorting wise asses
Just come jivin' along makin' fun of life and all that is wholly, holey holy carryin'them BOOM bADA BING boom boxes
turned up so damn high you shake the tennie shoes off tha 'Lectric wires!!
(You know why my grandson throws them shoes up there on them wires like that? He do it cause he don't want nobody to steal his shoes!!! The idjit!)
And let me tell you, it gets me red in the face and disgustipated!
GET THE HELL OUTTA MY YARD!
i'll CALL thE CoPs!
no, on second thought.....................
they might be more trouble than you guys.
listen. listen to me.....
If you shut up and turn that &%$#@*$ damn music down,
I'll give you a whole bag of Milk Duds
And you all can take off down to the park
With the rusted out Monkey Bars and the one seated See Saws
And get your Dud on, Dudes.
What's that?
Hmm. Alrighty then. Be that way.
Just sit down yonder on them steps
AND I'll tell you a story
'bout the old days
when dinosaurs roamed the earth
and there were no In and Outs on every corner,
Just meat markets walking around
on all fours and women hanging round the cliffs
like BIG JUICY berries. Uh hmmm.
I don't care if you believe me or not.
It's true. Read your comic books. That be where
The truth lies......Super Man and stuff like that!
LISTEN.
I gots to go to the store and then I gots to go see my Mama
and then I gots to go down to the jail and see if they found my Daddy
and then, I......I.....
aw, hell. I'm thinkin' bout something else done happened twenty year ago! hee hee.....ain't I a mess?
Ya'll get on away from here, now, you hear?
I done talked myself out. You shouldn't come by here every day
And make me run myself ragged like this chasin' ya'll off
I'm old as dirt
And they ain't no flowers planted in me no more.
Shoo!!!
and stay away from them 'LECTRIC wIRes!!!!!
lawdamercy, what this world done come to?!
Judy Garland, Judy Garland.............................
Where ARE you now that we need ya, darlin'?
More like freak cars!!
Life is a cabaret, my friend.
Only, Judy Garland is dead and gone
and nobody can sing torch songs no more
Songs are illustrated by pyROtechNeeks and laser lights
And you really can't tell if they on key or not
Lawd knows I'd like to take a dang torch to most of 'em!
I'm just settin' here in this here swing
On my porch, observin', mindin' my own dang business
And you little punk, hop hip, hippity hop, Milk Dud snorting wise asses
Just come jivin' along makin' fun of life and all that is wholly, holey holy carryin'them BOOM bADA BING boom boxes
turned up so damn high you shake the tennie shoes off tha 'Lectric wires!!
(You know why my grandson throws them shoes up there on them wires like that? He do it cause he don't want nobody to steal his shoes!!! The idjit!)
And let me tell you, it gets me red in the face and disgustipated!
GET THE HELL OUTTA MY YARD!
i'll CALL thE CoPs!
no, on second thought.....................
they might be more trouble than you guys.
listen. listen to me.....
If you shut up and turn that &%$#@*$ damn music down,
I'll give you a whole bag of Milk Duds
And you all can take off down to the park
With the rusted out Monkey Bars and the one seated See Saws
And get your Dud on, Dudes.
What's that?
Hmm. Alrighty then. Be that way.
Just sit down yonder on them steps
AND I'll tell you a story
'bout the old days
when dinosaurs roamed the earth
and there were no In and Outs on every corner,
Just meat markets walking around
on all fours and women hanging round the cliffs
like BIG JUICY berries. Uh hmmm.
I don't care if you believe me or not.
It's true. Read your comic books. That be where
The truth lies......Super Man and stuff like that!
LISTEN.
I gots to go to the store and then I gots to go see my Mama
and then I gots to go down to the jail and see if they found my Daddy
and then, I......I.....
aw, hell. I'm thinkin' bout something else done happened twenty year ago! hee hee.....ain't I a mess?
Ya'll get on away from here, now, you hear?
I done talked myself out. You shouldn't come by here every day
And make me run myself ragged like this chasin' ya'll off
I'm old as dirt
And they ain't no flowers planted in me no more.
Shoo!!!
and stay away from them 'LECTRIC wIRes!!!!!
lawdamercy, what this world done come to?!
Judy Garland, Judy Garland.............................
Where ARE you now that we need ya, darlin'?
©by Voo
March 31, 2012
3:07 p.m.
"That's right, that's right!!!!
What he said! He know what he talkin' 'bout, ya big dummies!"
Theme from Sandford and son
The Man That Got Away
by Judy Garland
Billie Holiday
I'll Be Seeing You
I'll Be Seeing You
Haha! Fun 1. 😂
ReplyDeleteThere I was, walking down the street one day and happened upon this pair of tennis shoes hanging from a power line. I stopped for a moment to see what kind they were. (If they’re Jordan’s or Reebok’s I might come back when it’s dark and see if I can get ‘em down. They looked like they might fit me). Anyway, as I stood there lookin up at ‘em, this dude from across the street starts shoutin’ at me. “Hey you (boogada boogada), don’t get no ideas on gittin ‘em shoes. I saw ‘em first. Besides ‘at, I got a ladda.” Then he looks down the street at a group of thugs listening to a boom box and shouts at ‘em, “hey you buncha good for nothin punk (aye caramba) kids. Y’all needs to turn off that (oo la la) boombox and come over here and hold this (aye yi yi) ladda for me.”
ReplyDeleteI decided I’d better leave before his expletives got really personal and I became their recipient. After cleaning my ears out from hearing all that (tutti-frutti), I could hear much better. I even heard a soft voice as though it was being broadcast by a very sexy, and seductive radio show host. I even imagined Judy Garland comin my way with those beautiful eyes 👀 lookin at me. Then I realized it was a dude coming towards me while he was playing “Somewhere over the rainbow” from a boombox he was carrying on his shoulder.
I said, “Yo! hip Hop! Whatcha playing on that box?"
That’s when he stops and gives me that Fred Sanford look! (You know that look!) I kept waitin for him to say, “whatchoo lookin at Lamont, you big dummy?!” I stood there silent. It was so quiet you could hear the theme song from “Sanford and Son” from two blocks away. All I wanted was to be “The man that got away!” From there.
Finally I said to him, “now look here my good man, you see that dude down the street with the ladder tryin to get them shoes off the wire, well he’s just waiting for someone else to come along so he can pounce and holler at ‘em. (I thought I’d bluff him some......I know what you’re thinkin!.. I should be honest about it with him, but hey, we’ve all done something we’re not proud of.) After he looks down the street at what was happenin, “he looks at me with them big brown eyes and says, You ain’t seen......” Oh! Wait a minute! Wrong song.
Then he turns around and he skedaddles as Billie Holiday comes on as he shouts back at me, with, “I’ll be seeing you! Dude!”
ROFLMAO!!! That was hysterical!!! What song were you referring to, dude? I can imagine what's gonna happen in that neighborhood after dark! (you little punk, hop hip, hippity hop, Milk Dud snorting wise asses......I love that line....lol aye yi ti ladda....that was funny too 😁😂🤣
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