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Monday, May 4, 2020

The Wrong Road To The Right Place




























The Wrong Road To The Right Place




Whistlin' in tha dark
As I traversed that Southern road
That road that ain't found on no road map
Nor on no piece of paper
Nor drawn on a napkin by a "greasy spoon" waitress.

Naw, this road don't rightly take you no wheres you know
Don't start any wheres and who but God 
                      Knows where it ends..................

I don't. Or I didn't.

I just closed my eyes as I stood there
At the fork in the road and threw a stolen rose
Over my left shoulder
                 And it fell to the right............
And that is how I ended up
        On this here dusty road tryin' to get to Heaven......

Honk HONK!!!! Get out  of the road, you OLD fool!!!!

(Some kid feeling his oats in his daddy's car, I reckon)

NO.....some wanna-be gangster boy from up North
wantin' to mess with somebody out here on these back roads.....

What am I lookin' for?

    You tell me........boy!

You tha Son of A Gun askin' the questions!
I didn't ask you nothin'
And I reckon that's what I'll git.....

(Story of my life).....Always nothin'.

The Bible says: You have NOT
  'Cause you ASK not............

But I don't know what to ask fer
(I don't want to get...smited) (SMOTED?) Kilt...
Lord, I don't know....God always uses such BIG words...
My brain can't hardly ascertain the little ones
Like thee and Thou and How Now Brown Cow....

Oh, wait! That ain't scripture, is it? Or is it?
Shoot! I don't know nothin. I'm half heathen, I guess
But I AIM to make HEAVEN my HOME! Yessir.

WHERE AM I GOING?
   you just full of questions, ain't ye???
Dang fool Yankee!!!

You don't hear me going off half cocked
And asking you jack! 

                  Mostly, 'cause I don't care

And secondly, 'Cause I don't CARE!

I got enough problems fer the both of us 

                     Plus everbody in WhyNot, Mississippi  


Damn! I sure could use me a good cold drank!
You got a RC Cola on ye? Or an Orange Crush?

Pepsi???! Damn, son, we don't drink no Pepsi down here!

Might as well drank swamp water......Pepsi!!!!! Shoot!


Hey!! HEY!!!  No use gittin' all riled up about it!!!
What you doin', boy???? CALM THE HELL BACK DOWN!!!

What a little feller like you doin' with a BIG ole GUN like that???

Naw, I ain't gonna be quiet! Naw, Hell Naw! Didn't yore Pa told ye
Not to point no PISTOL at nobody lest you aim to....to.....

Naw..............I can't help ye with no gas money....


I ain't got no Money, son! If I did, you thank I'd be out here
 hitchin' in this here hot sun trying to find my way to Heaven? 
                                    Nooo...not that HEAVEN.......!!!

Heaven, Alabama. Where the purtiest girl in the Whole WORLD live!

You got a girl, son? Anybody on this here Earth love your sorry ass?

No..no..I didn't mean nothin.....Just talkin'. 

No need to get all bent outta shape.........

I done tole you I ain't got no Money! I can't give you Nothin'  but ADVICE!
C'mon, man......Don't do me that a way...I ain't lyin'. I try not to lie......much...
I wants to go to HEAVEN one day. (I just don't Want to go right NOW....
you know what I'm sayin?)                Quit that! That hurts!!!

No need to kick a man when he down!!! Lord, have Mercy!!!  Here...Here..
 I got a five dollar bill here in my shoe...You can have THAT. Just don't hurt me. 

No...I ain't got no MORE...

I ain't got nothin' but some Juicy Fruit gum I'm saving fer supper.
What??? 
You gonna take that too? Well, if that ain't a damn shame...! 
 I bet yore mama sure would be proud of you 'bout right now, wouldn't she????
No, no, not trying to talk about yore MAMA! Not meaning no 
Dis Respect to nobody.... let me go now, boy..I gots to git on down this here road
fore it gits too DARK to see...LET ME GO NOW!!!! Dadblame yore hide!!!

No, I won't tell noBody...I promise.  I won't report you to no PO-LICE... I won't TELL,
I swear to GOD....let me go NOW.....I won't.......

                                                     * BANG!!!!*

LORD GOD, son!!! You didn't have to do THAT!!! Why You want to KILL some old
NOBoDY like me???? I didn't mean you no harm....here, take this JUICY FRUIT.
Take it! You wanted it a minute ago! Here, boy.......
A little blood won't hurt ye.... I don't need no gum where I'm goin'...

                                           Where am I Going?????              

WHY.....Heaven, Alabama, OF COURSE!!!! Where my girl at....She waitin' on me down there.
She been WAITIN' a long TIME.  She love me, she says last time I seen her. 
I love her too, I shorely do!  Hot damn! She gonna be happy to see my ole raggedy butt!!!  Hee Hee
Let me rest a bit........My belly shore pains me.....

LORD..it shore is Bright right now. I can't hardly SEE, it so BRIGHT. 
What's goin' on here? I feel like I'm fadin'.....jest fadin' away....
         right here in this dirt with the Sun in my eyes.......

Where you goin', BOY???? Come back here!!!! Why you runnin???? 
Them ain't nothin' but angels.....

 Them ain't nothin' but.......................Angels....????? Ain't nothin' but......ANGELS?!!!!!
Lord God A'Mighty!!!!  I do believe them is ANGELS!!!!
Let me close my eyes a minute and git my bearings...Lord, I'm tired. So dang tired......

Come to thank about it...I thank that ole rose fell to the LEFT! 

I should a done took that OTHER ROAD.................................

         I don't thank this 'un is goin' to Alabama.........
                                                      no, sir... ain't goin' down towards Ole ALABAMA..........

                                     Not to no Heaven...........in no  Alabama....    no.



































By Voo
August  16, 2019
4:22 a.m.
copyrighted

2 comments:

  1. this story amazed me. Don't know who's story it
    was or where it came from. But I love when that happens...

    ReplyDelete